lunes, junio 30, 2003
[ 152. Quizilla ]
You actually enjoy going to school, doing your
work and get straight As!! You even own THE
clique in school, you popular bastard!
Congratulations, everybody else (secretly)
hates you!
Which Stereotypical Singaporean Student Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
I CANT believe this. -____-
Shannon left at 10:57 p. m..
[ 151. Movie Genre ]
Which [Movie Genres] are you?
Shannon left at 7:02 p. m..
[ 150. Exams ]
As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
For the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
And its place remembers it no more.
But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting
On those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children's children,
To such as keep His covenant,
And to those who remember His commandments to do them.
Exams totally......... _________ (fill in the blank).
Ha, it's all about perception. =)
Doesn't matter if i can't do 40 marks worth for my further math paper,
doesn't matter if i'm unsure about my chemistry practical,
i still thank God for one thing: my trust in Him throughout the whole day despite all these crap.
Guess i would have freaked out under any other circumstances... haha.
First time in my life i make so much unneccessary mistakes during practical and still stay so calm.
"Woah xuan, you're cool man. I would have pressed the panic button." hehehe.
Well... let's give thanks to God under all circumstances k?
cya~ going to have my dinner...
first time i feel so hungry...
Shannon left at 6:58 p. m..
domingo, junio 29, 2003
[ 149. Rip-Off ]
three things i love
01-God
02-People close to my heart...
03-Dark chocolates...
three things i hate
01-sin
02-emotional blackmail
03-dirt...
three things i don't understand
01-Why do we need injections?
02-Why people practise choose to believe other gods?
03-Why is God so good to me?
three things on my desk
01-handphone
02-bible
03-Computer
three ways to describe my personality
01-fellowship monster
02-"rap, corn and lame inc."
03-emotional
three ways to describe my looks
01-very average...
02-a bit on the plump side...
03-but i look human.
three things i can't do
01-lick my elbow
02-be mean to certain people
03-pull-ups
three of your absolute favourite foods
01-dark chocolates
02-mushroom swiss burger
03-pasta
three beverages you drink regularly
01-vanilla coke
02-pokka green tea
03-COLD water
three things you'd like to learn
01-pick up my piano again... or play keyboard...
02-sociology... or pschology...
03-drive.
three shows you watched when you're a kid
01-TOM AND JERRY!!!!!!!!!
02-power rangers
03-Loony tunes...
three shows you watch now
01-Amazing Race 4...
02-Anything on ch
03-any nice stuff that come on while im watching TV
three of the best shows
01-prince of eygpt...
02-just married...
03-cartoons. hahaha...
three things you wish they knew
01-why i care so much for you... certain people!
02-
03-
three things that make you cry
01-Good friends who just cool off the friendship...
02-God's goodness even though i'm so naughty...
03-
three things that make you smile
01-my gang!~
02-
03-
three things that make you laugh
01-
02-
03-
"it was not the nails that bound Him to the cross; it was His love for you and me that did"
-- Author Anonymous
Shannon left at 10:51 p. m..
[ 148. Service ]
The very verse i sent out to the unit 3 days ago came back during worship...
Colossians 3:12-14....
Really... Lord, I know you're rapping against my heart.
I'm trying very hard to turn to the light....
I'm slowly getting use to such bright stuff.
After today, i shall be free.
Of course, free only with you, God.
Shannon left at 10:15 p. m..
[ 147. SMS ]
Him: Hey bro, i really hope u arent angry wif me abt yest.. i noe ur disappointed.. really sorry..
Me: nvm... It doesn't matter anymore...
Him: Wad u mean by tat..
Me: Dun wanna get upset over you anymore...
Him: Pls forgive me 4 being such a great disappointment.. =( Shant disturb u liao.. Gd luck.. Bye
What does the last message imply?
Shannon left at 10:12 p. m..
sábado, junio 28, 2003
[ 146. Phone ]
Well... except for the cover.
Wait till july 1st!~ then i can get a discount for the covers.. hehehe.
Shannon left at 8:05 p. m..
[ 145. Bible ]
I went for saturday service with bowen and hongyao...
the two poor sheeps that can't make it for service tomorrow.
Well, praise God that they came and have a great learning time today.
Hah, we exhausted our crepes and creams vouchers... finally!
Anyway, i'd say the service was.... not up to standard. That's on the manager's part...
but my special commendations to the waiter there... Marvin!
Haha... he's really polite... and he looks so warm and friendly!
Hehe... today's service was a great improvement from last week.
Perhaps it's due to be more believers' oriented this week, perhaps.
But it really lifted my spirits, and realigned myself with God...
Yeah, God..... you rAwks!~
Jeremiah 29:11-13 says,
11. "For i know the plans i have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and i will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Let's make it a prayer to seek God wholeheartly... if we truly desire to know God's heartbeat for us.
I pray that all christians jc students out there... common tests/exams are here... let it be a time to walk closer to God and shine brighter as God's messengers. ameN!~
Shannon left at 8:03 p. m..
[ 144. Math ]
If nothing goes wrong, should be able to get about 80 marks,
after allowance for careless and stupid errors.
Shannon left at 11:58 a. m..
viernes, junio 27, 2003
[ 143. Birthdates ]
Just key in your birthdate.
Beautiful but full of melancholy
attractive
very empathic
loves anything beautiful and tasteful
loves to travel
dreamer
restless
capricious
honest
can be influenced but is not easy to live with
demanding
good intuition
suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
I hate to say... it's pretty true.
Shannon left at 11:43 p. m..
[ 142. Hurt ]
|=xaNeriC=| says:
wat do u see out of this frenship now?
*** says:
okie lar... its not as it used to be..
|=xaNeriC=| says:
ever asked y?
*** says:
i duno...i cant think of a reason....i guessed it was our schedules......
|=xaNeriC=| says:
if it's the schedules... means it'll get worse as i step into term time?
*** says:
maybe its bcos of my training lar..
|=xaNeriC=| says:
why do u say that?
*** says:
duno... the schedule of my training... den i oso got no time to talk to u`
|=xaNeriC=| says:
:'(
I'm so hurt, neglected.
Mad at myself.
A good piece of glass,
Yet my fingers are itchy.
Now it cracked,
i try to restore it.
It can never be the same...
God, why....
Shannon left at 11:05 p. m..
[ 141. Damaged Phone ]
finally had time to go for breakfast with mother,
before going on a Popular shopping spree...
well, it's just nice to go shopping with moms,
you just don't get the chance to pay for anything.
hehe, well so as usual i took advantage of it,
then i tried to be nice by treating mom and bro to delifrance...
should have evened out the cost.
Well... i guess during the meal time i made a big mistake...
i put my phone in my back pocket and sat on it...
and well, ummm... the screen spoiled.
So i had to go home, get my warranty card and return to toa payoh to get it repaired...
and what's worse was i can't get it back today.
hiaks.
Good riddance anyway, can concentrate on studying for math tml.
Guess i'm not doing much studying anyway,
cos i know i'll freak out tomorrow if i put too much pressure on myself tonight.
So juz a note... if ya lookin for me...
call my house... if not, leave me a voice message. =)
Shannon left at 7:35 p. m..
jueves, junio 26, 2003
[ 140. The Big Shift ]
ha, that's besides the point.
Today i made a BIG mistake... totally forgotten that i had to tutor a friend.
Well, i'm so sorry... hehe, i bought that person a kitkat bar.
Chocolate makes the world go round... hehe.
Well, saw wansong today... really surprised at how he waved goodbye to me.
Guess it's time to reconcile. =)
Just wanna share a couple of things.
Really thank God for blessing me sooooooooooo much...
and it's not a cliche.
Well, things don't look rosy with me, like i lost my ic (again), faimly's not very good,
etc etc etc.... but it's really now that i truly taste the goodness of God.
Wonder how can that be when i have so much to complain about?
Precisely. I still have so much peace within me though i have lots to complain.
This heart, this faith, this belief that God will really bring me through...
and compared to many out there, my situation is considered a lot better.
My buddy's family is on the rocks too...
and i wonder how is she coping with her o's this year.
Like i always say, we all have one magnifying glass on our hands.
It's up to us if we choose to palce it over our problems, or over God.
And i really thank God for bringing my PTN1 truly so far...
though we have not been growing quantitatively,
i've seen lots of breakthroughs in the group.
People who now sees the value in fellowship, who has a desire to serve God,
who decides to attempt greater things for God,
and to share their faith despite possible strong objections.
I really give thanks to Him who has bless us in this area...
though we were so turbulent and imposing so much problems,
He never fails to bring forth His promise of fruitfulness.
Thanks a million, God.
And to all the PT people out there... this is for you.
Colossians 3:12-17 says,
12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Shannon left at 10:37 p. m..
[ 139. Reflections ]
Joshua asked us to do a very important thing today... Let's reflect upon my quarter 2.
Quarter 2 has been a meandering time for me. Ups and downs... especially with so many things that happened in choir. Guess one of my major learning points is how God as chosen to use my choir, something that i love and hate a lot, so teach me so much about Himself.
During the syf period, i've been giving so much to the practices, to fellowshipping with the choir members, that i really just shelf God and my cg aside. Thinking that choir could have been a replacement, i thought i've found another family. However, as the practices intensifies, upon reflection, i realize that choir couldn't give me what the care group could have given me: an accepting environment, a place where people will truly help one another grow, change and learn. However, i still stuck with them, as we had a common goal to attain. Well, vision draws us together, but only love binds us together. In choir, we have a vision for syf, but there's no love. We are only together structurally, even though going through, as my conductor puts it, so much thick and thin and imagining we are at the beach, everything, and i mean everything fell into smithereens when we got our measly bronze for syf. Yeah, we cried together, so? We happen to sit down near each other and cry. Crying for each other? No way. Crying for the defeat? No way. Crying for the loss of face after fighting so much. That's more like it.
Well, i was bitter against God then. Why did He allow this to happen even though what we did was perfectly biblical, you know, giving our best, sowing in terms of practices and so on? I guess i forsaken Matthew 6:33 "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.". I forsaken my first love. I've used God's name in vain, thinking that His name alone is just another passport to success. Even right after the concert a week later, my relationship with the choir is rather surface i guess. I made attempts to salvage it, but apparently it's not getting anywhere. That's when i really pondered upon, and slowly realign my position with Christ, renew my vision as how jason has asked me, "Why do we serve God?". As i slowly shared and become more transparent to my leaders, i am able to return to the times of great experiences with God and deep fellowship with the PT people.
My main turning point is during the church camp, as jason directed me and weilong to plan for fellowship and huddle times, i realize how much i don't know about my people, and i just felt the tug in my heart to really know my guys better. How well did i know bowen? nicholas? freedy? I guess all i knew was their schools, age, stream and telephone numbers. As i really talked to them, and even some other brothers in the PT group, i simply felt so ashamed. Even during one of the teachings, i was truly convicted Hebrews 5:12 "In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!" I've been slacking for too long. 5 years in church, what the heck am i doing? Let's get this right once and for all with God. God i really want to move on in Your Kingdom. No more procrastination. And right after the camp, i begin to have a breakthrough in my understanding of God, and as well as found a new motivation to love my people, to serve my people and to serve God.
Of course, my recovery is all not that rosy. As i work, i rubbed shoulders with the people i work with. People has become more distant from me... people gotten closer. Well, i've given my emotions up to God as well, trusting Him enough not to dwell on lost friendships. Treasured whatever memories i have, and move on with what i have now. So in all...
God, thanks for this quarter. Really thanks a million for what you've done... i finally understand...
Shannon left at 12:15 a. m..
miércoles, junio 25, 2003
[ 138. Thanks Ken ]
My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him for his steady-being nature, and I love the warm feeling while leaning against his broad shoulder.
Three years in the courtship and now two years into marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of it, and the reasons of me loving him before has now transform into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings, I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning for candy. And my husband, is just a contrast to me- his lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shocked.
"I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in the world" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, and seem to be in deep thoughts with the cigarette lighted all the times. My feeling of disappointment is getting intense; a man who can't even express his detainment, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked," What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Look deep into his eyes and I slowly answered "Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind, Let say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both know that making you to pick the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?" He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My heart just sank by listening to his response.
The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy writing, underneath a glass of warm milk. It goes.... "Dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to further explain the reasons " This first line has already break my heart. I continue reading. "You can only type with computer and always messed up the programs in the PC, and cry in front of screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house key behind, I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to lead you the way. You always has the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps at your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computers, and that do no good to your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands... tell you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face... Thus, my dear, before I am sure there is someone who loves you more than I do... I would not pick the flower, and die.. "
My tears drops on the letters, and blurred the ink of his hand writing... and I resume my reading... "And now, dear, you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing there, with your favorites bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and bread.... Oh I am sure no one ever love me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone...
That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to ignore the true love lies in between the peace and dullness.
Shannon left at 1:33 p. m..
[ 137. Chemistry ]
Thought it was supposedly compulsory... well, read "thought" and "supposedly".
With 14 absentees, we sorta made a unspoken promise that we'll naturally do well in the exams.
Hope we don't go wrong anywhere.
Somewhat encouraging paper we did today. 74%. Haha... enough for me to get an A.
Guess God is really great to me today, my class's rather nice. =)
Foundational fellowship class later on... followed by sub-district meeting.
Prayerfully i'll learn something.
And to my buddy out there... no matter what, remember God still loves you.... =]
Shannon left at 1:11 p. m..
[ 136. Quizzes ]
haha... bren's cheap. LoL.
Which [Rainbow Colours] are you?
here's another quiz that i did:
LOVE is your chinese symbol!
What Chinese Symbol Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Love? Well... hopefully.
Cuz He loves me. =p
Shannon left at 12:59 p. m..
martes, junio 24, 2003
[ 135. Why ]
Well... God, forgive me. I've just gluttoned myself and eaten TONS of food for supper.
No thanks to mother who brought them back. hehe.
Well, pray that my chemistry and my hair will go well tomorrow...
Shannon left at 11:47 p. m..
[ 134. Blogs Visit ]
Well... just remembered about mot. I saw him on sunday while he was doing his pathetic flag day (as what he would call it), so kindly gave all my coins to him and his friends.
Well, decided to do a long entry since i've got some time.
School's starting a couple of days time, and i've got to return to school tomorrow for a chemistry session.
Fear. Hesitation. Well, they bog me at the thought of returning to school.
Haven't been hitting off well with my class all along, so there's nothing much i can do about it now.
Will my sensitive nature get me upset about how the class will treat me again when school reopens? God knows, and hopefully, God heals.
Not saying i'm without friends in the school, but you stick with your class most of the time, so in any sense, you've got no choice.
And remembering that i still owe the class fund some money. Wonder if i should get it from my mother together with the naggings.
Midyears in 4 days' time. I've totally given up hope on my physics. Mr Low, if you are reading this, i'm so sorry.
Hopefully can get 2 As and a decent grade for my fmaths. That will keep me off trouble for the time being.
[title]:i sing praises
[album]: acoustic worship
i sing praises to your Name, O Lord, praises to your Name, O Lord,
for your Name is great and greatly to be praised.
I give glory to your Name, O Lord, glory to your Name, O Lord,
for your Name is great and worthy to be praised.
God... i need a hug... reassure me everything's gonna be fine with you....
Shannon left at 6:39 p. m..
lunes, junio 23, 2003
[ 133. "Real" Man ]
You're a man with a very balanced personality and lifestyle. You believe in making room in life to relax, think, and have fun. You refuse to settle long-term for a boring job or doing something just because it's expected of you. Love is the same way. You know what real love feels like and you'll accept no imitations! You're honest, straightforward, and have lots of common sense. Because you don't "wear your heart on your sleeve" doesn't mean you lack deep feelings. In fact, you're deeply committed to your loved ones and the causes you believe in. Men as truly balanced as you are very rare.
test taken at attraction.match.com
Shannon left at 10:09 p. m..
[ 132. Crash Com ]
my entire com just failed me.
the system file went corrupt...
no way to save it.
haiz, i reformat it.
So well... i got it back up and running like before in 2 hours time...
without all my files.
my goodness...
never mind...
well, it taught me a lesson.
why do i trust in worldly things so much....
once it crashes, my world will be gone.
God, i learnt it.
And something more practical:
don't think i have a cd-rw drive for nothing...
time to make backups!!!!
Shannon left at 9:31 p. m..
domingo, junio 22, 2003
[ 131. Color Quiz II ]
Willing and adaptable. Only at peace when closely attached to a person, group, or organization on a which reliance can be placed.
Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and to stand out from the rank and file. This subjects him to considerable stress, but he sticks to his attitudes despite lack of appreciation. Finds the situation uncomfortable and would like to break away from it, but refuses to compromise with his opinions. Unable to resolve the situation because he continually postpones making the necessary decision as he doubts his ability to withstand the opposition which would result. Needs the esteem of others, compliance with his wishes, and respect for his opinions before he can feel at ease and secure.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels he is receiving less than his share, but that he will have to conform and make the best of his situation.
Circumstances are such that he feels forced to compromise for the time being if he is to avoid being cut off from affection or from full participation.
Your Desired Objective
Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering his chances of success or undermining others' confidence in himself.
Your Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for his personal accomplishments.
Your Actual Problem #2
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond his capabilities, or his reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. He attempts to remedy this by intense activity and by insistence on getting his own way. Faulty self-control can lead to ungovernable displays of anger.
Test taken at http://www.colorquiz.com
Shannon left at 8:59 p. m..
[ 130. Color Quiz I ]
Test taken at http://www.colorquiz.com
Shannon left at 8:57 p. m..
[ 129. Compulsive Blogger ]
well, is that the word to describe me?
don't think so.
Well, what about someone who talks to God daily?
That's an obsession as well.
Is that wrong? no.
Just got back from service...
Took the NEL home... haha.
Was disturbed by someone's couldn't-care-less attitude.
Sometimes i even wonder why do i bother so much about him.
Cuz he's a brother?
But i really miss the old him...
haix.
Shannon left at 7:41 p. m..
sábado, junio 21, 2003
[ 128. Insult ]
| ||||||||||||||||||||
i like this is better:
| ||||||||||||||||||||
Shannon left at 9:12 p. m..
[ 127. Youth Service ]
just didn't know what to write.
I went down to youth today... the feeling's not right.
Feel quite empty larz... hehe.
Then i went down for CG at amk min house...
yupz. met up with yongding, nicholas and bowen...
it's ok larz. hopefully something stirred.
Called him just now...
argh. haiz. boohoohoo....
God. why?
Shannon left at 9:08 p. m..
[ 126. Missed Calls ]
Went to study with chris and mx at sengkang,
before taking the northeast line down to dhoby ghaut to eat...
Anyway, really missed his call....
just dunno why....
God... why didn't you ask him to call me...
God... tell me why...
Shannon left at 12:45 a. m..
viernes, junio 20, 2003
[ 125. What is Love ]
WHAT IS LOVE?
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
It isn't love, it's LIKE.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her, am I right??
It isn't love, it's LUST.
Are you proud, and eager to show her off??
It isn't love, it's LUCK.
Do you want her because you know she's there??
It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.
Are you with her because it's what everyone wants??
It isn't love, it'S LOYALTY.
Are you with her because she kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.
Do you stay for her confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her?
It isn't love, it's PITY.
Do you belong to her because the sight of her makes your heart skip a beat??
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.
Do you pardon her faults because you care about her?
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.
Do you tell her every day she is the only one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a LIE.
Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
It isn't love, it's CHARITY.
Does your heart ache and break when she's sad?
Then it's LOVE.
Do you cry for her pain, even when she's strong?
Then it's LOVE.
Do her eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's LOVE.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her?
Then it's LOVE.
Do you accept her faults because it's a part of who she is?
Then it's LOVE.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with her faithfully without regret??
Then it's LOVE.
Would you give her your heart, your life, your death??
Then it's LOVE.
Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?
The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE.
It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.
It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some loves grow and it is a mystery why some loves fail. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do any more than take the life out of the experience.
Love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its time, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.
Too often, when love comes to people, they try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was.
They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small thing were different love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances. They blame each other. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways they live in a sea of misery.
You need to treat what love brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart.
If you find someone else in love with you toward whom you feel no love, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how love will deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are very different.
If you fall in love with another who falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment.
Remember this and keep it in your heart. You don’t choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it to you. Give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.
Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it or reason it into staying. If it chooses to leave, from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and nothing you should do. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open, it will surely come again.
Shannon left at 2:54 p. m..
[ 124. 2 Peter ]
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I guess many a times i fall into this trap of doing things based on what my human abilities and instincts.
That i forget about trusting God, about pursuing godliness.
It's not wrong having fun, loving people, and work on our relationships with each other.
But one thing for sure, i wanna get it right with God first...
Not only in words, in speech, but in action as well.
Not just telling Him that i love Him everyday,
but truly showing love by trying to be more like Him each day.
Not holding on to my own carnal needs and greed,
but being satisfied with what has been entrusted and be faithful.
God, i wanna be sure of my calling.
Shannon left at 2:50 p. m..
[ 123. NEL ]
I'm going to ride it with my pals. =p
Shannon left at 12:30 a. m..
jueves, junio 19, 2003
[ 122. Dory ]
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Shannon left at 11:13 p. m..
miércoles, junio 18, 2003
[ 121. Wednesday ]
Dear wednesday... don't pass so quickly can?
haha... it's 10 days to mid years. =)
Well, math tuition at noon....
Guess my teacher must be losing his touch.
Can't exactly answer some of my questions...
haha, doesn't help much when's he's a bit ill today.
So i ended up trying to solve my own questions...
then again, if i could answer the questions, why would i need tuition?
*LoL*
Then i went down to study with mervin.... but alas.
Ya know i usually end up not really studying... haha...
but being the question solver of the group for suping...
She's kinda.... eh, not so good at integration... kekeke...
wasn't really in the mood to study after the taxing tuition...
So i crapped much with mervin, so long never see him. kekekeke...
I'm so happy!~ suping made my day...
she said.... "eh, ni3 shou4 le4"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SUPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha.... finally i'm really losing some weight... bwahAHahHAhA....
Well, then after that went down to toa payoh with merv lor,
to meet his friend by the name of Satisfied...
now that's another joke... haha.... cuz her chinese name is called Manyi
so do some direct translation... and hahahaha....
Well, she's from zhonghua too... so she knows derek too!
hehe... this's so cool... the world's so small.
Nonetheless i had my shepherding before heading home at 9 odd... =)
just as i thought things would be fine...
yeah, dad came home drunk. that jerk.
Not the kind of drunkard drunk...
but the looks-fine-but-mentally-unstable drunk...
went and disturb my brother while he was doing anything.
Talking on phone, doing homework.... etc etc... also want to disturb.
I'm so damn irritated lorz.
So i told him not to harrass my bro...
well, the case is, i seldom speak up for my bro so that came quite strongly.
He just held my brother back and ya know...
force him to say that he's not disturbing him.
ARGH........... he's really an ass. i gotta tell my brother to get into the room.
Then he went into the room and picked a quarrel with my mom... argh...
i'll save the rest for now...
ya know, some people's just being a pain in the ass when they aren't exactly contributing MUCH to the family.
Especially when they make this helluva nuisance of themselves...
wonder why my mom bear with it for soooooooooo long...
God................................ tell me why. I'm confused.
Shannon left at 10:05 p. m..
martes, junio 17, 2003
[ 120. Melancholy ]
well, today was quite a long day for me i guess.
Went down to the new vs today... had a good look at the co room.
MUCH better than what we used to have back at geylang bahru...
and they still complain. best.
Well, then went down to orchard with zhiyuan and walked around with his friends...
before going to toa payoh mos to study with mingxiu.
Studied for about 3 hours then went home...
we talked about quite a lot of things.
about what has happened in the pt group so far...
and i'm really grieved... why are things turning out this way.
all along, I tried really hard to focus on God rather than the problem...
It did pull off for a while.
Even mingxiu thinks we should take this time to really focus on God...
haiz.
Tried to call derek just now... and can't get him at all.
That didn't really help in alleviating my worries.
Yeah, not his fault... he may be too tired and slept,
but it just made me feel more mel... more insecure... and as if he's rather tired of me.
Argh.... guess my melancholy got better of me again...
Haiz... God.... if you are there.... send forth a word...
A word from you is better than thousands from the mouth of men.
God, i'm desperate. Help.
Shannon left at 11:34 p. m..
lunes, junio 16, 2003
[ 119. Holidays ]
though it gives me more sleeping time...
it makes me sleepy for the rest of the day...
well, nonetheless, i went to serangoon gdn village coffee bean to study today...
haiz, when i was studying, was wondering if i could get a part time job at coffee bean....
look at my current situation, looks like i could do with some spare income.
yeah, for the clueless, i just lost my ic... desperately need to save money for it. =)
well, anyway this week's gonna be exciting... haha...
really looking forward to the jan's farewell... to my outing with my mei... =)
And i finally feel liberated... i told her the truth... yeah. =p
a bug off my back.
Shannon left at 10:00 p. m..
[ 118. Weilong ]
this is a new week.
Well, much has happened last week...
my relationship with wl has soured much...
Well, that is always means when you work with people you are close to means you'll risk losing the friendship?
i nearly cried yesterday over what have happened over...
i know i was being self-centred to keep pushing the blame to him...
but i'm really afraid to lose this friend becuz of ministry...
had a talk with him to trash things out this morning...
as i was talking to him, i really sense much despair and lost hope between us...
as he told me about how he frankly felt...
i know i don't have a right to say this..
but i really felt depressed... full of angst... hate myself... why must this happen to me...
then got another brother... i dunno why, juz suddenly feel very far form him...
yar, we do talk and affirm one another...
but he just doesn't initiate much stuff anymore...
God... why muz this happen to me..........
let me cry..................................................................................................................
Shannon left at 1:38 p. m..
domingo, junio 15, 2003
[ 117. Derek's Place ]
derek's place... lol... kekeke....
at such unearthly hour... my goodness...
Well, today was a looooooooooooooong day.
What to do? basically cuz i woke up at 10am...
haha, i missed half my physics lesson by that time...
and then i went on to sleep at 12nn too. BwaHAhahAH...
Well... today was rather slow flowing for me...
went to buy derek's present at about 3 odd...
before going down to city hall to study...
well, at least i tried. Tried to do my thermochem S paper.
Well, i can't. cuz i didn't bring my data booklet.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
so i ended up writing encouragement cards for the ppl in PT grp...
haix... seems like a long time since i last wrote cards. LoL.
kekekeke...
anyway, was supposed to go to attend the supposed joshua group after that...
but due to some miscomm... it was only for CG heads and above..
so me and enghow sorta ended up as invited guests....
hahaha.... well.... i'll end here.
gotta go talk to somebody now... hehe... ciaOz~
Shannon left at 1:01 a. m..
viernes, junio 13, 2003
[ 116. Hebrews ]
finally got some decent time to blog...
well, last night (if you had realized) i was online very late...
went for the sowing day camp, ended at ten...
resulted in me going home at an unearthly hour.
i mean it.
When i was spending time praying and reading the bible...
argh... disrupted four times.
Once by an intruding mother who took the hint went she saw the bible on my bed...
Once by weilong... and two smses.
argh... the ills of technology.
Nonetheless, i just went on and spend time with my God... =p
Was reading hebrews yesterday...
chapter 5 onwards.
11We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. 12In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.
I guess what struck me was the part about v12 and 13...
i realli stagnant much over the years.
And i don't view this verse as something that discourages me,
but i guess it simply means i need to grow more in maturity in Christ.
It's time.
Was talking to her again,
then apparently we felt that the fellowship in North is rather... structural.
We are bounded by all kinds of system, etc etc
that we lost our sense of fellowship and love for one another...
because of certain stuff (such as bgr) that we want to avoid...
we tend to bring along certain necessary evils...
But it's not beneficial.
But as i'm typing this, it makes me reflect and realize that no church is perfect,
hence no group is perfect.
However... i guess it starts with those who sees the problem... they have to do something about it.
That's me.
Shannon left at 11:03 a. m..
[ 115. Magic Powers ]
You Can Talk to Animals!
What's Your Magic Power?
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Shannon left at 12:12 a. m..
miércoles, junio 11, 2003
[ 114. Shepherding ]
just came back from my shepherding...
at the amk library. hehe, after renovation, they do look better. =p
Well... today's lesson was on friendship.
learnt quite a bit on jonathan and david.
and also reflected on some of my friendships and what happened during camp.
Yeah... know i've somewhat neglected xiaohei...
was too busy with my people and derek.
sorry xiaohei... i realized my mistake.
i'll make it up ok? =)
Yar... but do let me know if i ever do it again.... i do care. =)
i wanna be the jonathan in your life....
not onli to xiaohei, but to everyone else who needs it too.
Shannon left at 6:21 p. m..
lunes, junio 09, 2003
[ 113. Derek ]
derek for his field camp today. up to friday. argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haiz.... no form of any contact with him... except a prayer of peace and blessing for him each day... i really treasure this brother a lot... even though there are times i think i took him for granted... he still stood by me... loved me... and i really appreciate it... never have i felt so strong a brotherly love before... never. God, i pray for a spirit of peace and courage upon him for this week, as he goes through his field camp... you know he's really fearful about it, give him the assurance of your omnipresence. And to derek... remember you're always in my heart and prayer.... i'll wait for ya this weekend to celebrate your birthday. =)
Shannon left at 11:38 p. m..
[ 112. GCE CLAO ]
well, i think it's time i get away from saying that it sucks all the time...
hehe... bad habit of mine dies hard...
this time i really mean it... it's really easier than before.
i wanna thank God for something... i didn't have enough time to check my dictionary...
but during that stipulated break...
God just impressed upon me how to write the words i didn't have time to fill in...
really thank God...
and i really feel that the compre and summary passages were very meaningful...
those who took the exams would know what i mean. =)
Shannon left at 12:37 p. m..
[ 111. Back from Camp ]
For those who know... i'm back from my church camp.
"A courageous community"... the theme.
Basically i came back home with a bags of feelings,
with new fire burning for God,
and past worries all digged up.
I'm realli glad to see all my people coming for camp...
freedy, nicholas, bowen and myself.
Glad for them to really enjoy the fellowship,
something that has been absent for so long.
This camp has brought about certain issues.
One thing that stirred in my heart that...
it definitely dropped from the camp last year.
Like i said... there are mixed feelings,
so definitely i have learnt a lot as well.
Apparently, there's greater concern of the pt bros mixing with the sisters.
Living on different floors of the hotel,
there's tension wherever someone intrudes a level not of their own.
On the surface it still looked ok,
but deep down we know that leaders are watching.
Not saying that the leaders are wrong.
I know they are going by prevention is better than cure.
Anyway, if they compromise on this,
they'll end up compromising more.
And certain people will end up taking advantage of the situation.
Just like now, there are already people about to step beyond limits.
There's been much disagreements between me and weilong and jason about some things during this camp. And i've been struggling between trying to reason out and following jason in his decisions, though not very convincing decisions at times. Anyway, i still love them... i understand that as a team, we are bound to rub shoulders... and i really thank God for their hearts of excellence as well.
Basically across this camp,
we found out that mx, chris, sher and myself share the same ideals.
There's something wrong that's preventing us from growth...
and i know it's not right to just gossip.
And we are not comfortable addressing the issue.
So i guess the next best thing is to live by example...
what kind of group we want,
we should live it out for others to see.
As future leaders of the group,
i know i have not been doing my best.
I will try... for the sake of my people,
for the sake of myself,
but most imptly... for God's kingdom.
It's reality that we have troubles.
But it's divine that we overcome the odds to build God's Kingdom with His Power.
Shannon left at 12:35 p. m..
viernes, junio 06, 2003
[ 110. Church Camp ]
kekeke... yupz, ok, i know... it's the midst of my church camp. YES!!!
but gotta come home for a while before going off to orchard hotel again...
so decided to blog.
Yeah, last night was a great start.
Dinner was slow... with me just reaching...
I felt that it was ok... but jason felt otherwise. Never mind.
He thought that the dinner was a waste of time...
if we didn't try to enfold hongyao into deep talks...
I was thinking, we cannot have serious talks all the time, it'll kill.
Well, but he's right anyway, could have at least asked how's his day.
Ok, will try harder today. =)
So anyway... last night i slept so late,
i slept in chemistry lecture for the first time in my life!!!!
argh... the day was really slow... hoping that i could go home,
do what i need to do then go over to orchard tonight...
Oh... Hope and God... i wanna go look for ya...
And yes, i'm gonna outshine everyone else and prove my worth to God, to jason, to everyone.
SR's mine.
Shannon left at 7:00 p. m..
miércoles, junio 04, 2003
[ 109. Red Heart ]
Your Heart is Red
What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
Shannon left at 7:48 p. m..
[ 108. A Love that I Could Never Understand ]
He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."
The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in." So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered.
He looked up and said, "John 3:16." The lady said, "Come on in, Son." She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16....I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.
Later she came back and asked him "Are you hungry?" He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food." The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more. Then he thought to himself: John 3:16... Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.
She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.
The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.
The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible. She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face.
"Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently. He replied, "No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it." She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought: John3:16. ....
I don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe. You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.
Shannon left at 1:54 p. m..
[ 107. Camp Objectives ]
Ok... fine... i know i should go eat something... i'll see what i can do later. =)
In any case, this is really dumb. I guess i really screwed my physics test just now. I just totally suck at physics... like simple things like drawing arrows, i drew them the wrong way. Argh.... haiz. And teachers don't see how my chemistry actually balances it up. =/
Never mind... and now the librarians is making noise AGAIN. irionically, they are usually the ones making the dins, not us. =)
yeaH.... church camp's tomorrow! Finally it's here. I'm really looking forward to the camp.... really pray that this camp would do miracles to the hearts of my people. Pray that we will really be charged and refreshed of our vision by this camp... and go forth in faith.
To share some of my objectives for this camp.... a) since this camp is about courageous church, i want to overcome my fears and go forth in faith and courage for God... especially in the area of outreach and evangelism. b) The people will be able to know each other better and deeper, and that this group is not only bounded by structure. Vision holds people together, but love binds people together. c) To realign myself with the vision for srjc... yupz. that's about it.
For the christians out there... keep me in prayer. ;-)
And God... you know my heart, lead me to where you want me to be.
Shannon left at 1:52 p. m..
martes, junio 03, 2003
[ 106. Blog ]
Shannon left at 6:52 p. m..
domingo, junio 01, 2003
[ 105. District Meeting Reflections ]
so here i am. =)
Today was a long day, the usual case on sundays.
Went to nexus rather late today, due to cancellation of joshua's group.
For the first time in many weeks, i actually can leave house at 11am...
Well, that's something new.
What is tugging my heart is today's sermon and district meeting.
Well, sermon's on resolving differences in a team from acts 15.
Of course, sermons are nonetheless delivered in an expository manner,
but to bring it closer home was the things brought out during the district meeting.
Alan Tea has mentioned a few things that really struck my heart.
Indeed, sometimes we really are too nice towards our non-believing friends,
that it supercedes our real love for our own circle of believers,
right up to the extent of being fake.
I guess so. That's what we always do isn't it?
He pinpoint the reasons, about growth in numbers, growth in size...
Yeah, i guess we are really too caught up with that.
Then further on reflecting... how come my cell is so sparsely distributed?
How come it's really like a network with a base from jason?
It can't work that way.
We have arrived at a undesirable stage of indifference towards one another...
Weilong mentioned something real too. What do we know about each other?
Are we really just bounded together structurally?
Well... i've reasoned some things out with xiaohei,
but i know ultimately, whatever reasons we can come up with,
the onus is still ours to make the effort to bond the group.
Yes, perhaps jason should stop nannying all of us and get too uptight,
but i guess me and weilong gotta do something about this issue.
For a start, i'm not sure if i've been the one who may have sown conflicts,
but i'll have to start watching from now.
And indeed, even though i was disobedient to God over the past weeks,
he has still blessed me with a lot of things.
For example Freedy.
This year 1 srjcian who has just been delivered into my group...
like what jason loves to say, "a gift from heaven"
God has blessed me with great pals like wynnie and derek,
true friendships that kept me going even at my downest point in time.
God has also kept me on even through tough times.
Even though there are simply too much temptations...
Thanks God for everything...
Shannon left at 11:02 p. m..
the guy
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msn me.
his wishes
new clothes, new shoes, new bike, new friends, fantastic grades.his horizons
malaysia, penang. australia, brisbane/gold coast. thailand, hatyai. malaysia, genting. malaysia, johor. malaysia, melaka. thailand, chiangmai. australia, perth. canada, edmonton/cold lake. australia, rockhampton. thailand, bangkok. austria, vienna. czech rep, olomouc. austria, salzburg. germany, munich. switzerland, zurich.people.
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