miércoles, junio 25, 2003
[ 138. Thanks Ken ]
My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him for his steady-being nature, and I love the warm feeling while leaning against his broad shoulder.
Three years in the courtship and now two years into marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of it, and the reasons of me loving him before has now transform into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings, I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning for candy. And my husband, is just a contrast to me- his lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.
"Why?" he asked, shocked.
"I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in the world" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, and seem to be in deep thoughts with the cigarette lighted all the times. My feeling of disappointment is getting intense; a man who can't even express his detainment, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked," What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Look deep into his eyes and I slowly answered "Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind, Let say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both know that making you to pick the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?" He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My heart just sank by listening to his response.
The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy writing, underneath a glass of warm milk. It goes.... "Dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to further explain the reasons " This first line has already break my heart. I continue reading. "You can only type with computer and always messed up the programs in the PC, and cry in front of screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house key behind, I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to lead you the way. You always has the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps at your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computers, and that do no good to your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands... tell you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face... Thus, my dear, before I am sure there is someone who loves you more than I do... I would not pick the flower, and die.. "
My tears drops on the letters, and blurred the ink of his hand writing... and I resume my reading... "And now, dear, you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing there, with your favorites bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and bread.... Oh I am sure no one ever love me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone...
That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to ignore the true love lies in between the peace and dullness.
Shannon left at 1:33 p. m..
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