viernes, diciembre 31, 2004
[ 748. Eventful ]
Today was supposed to be some brigade cohesion run. Due to the infamous Cat 1, all we did was the warm up at pasir ris beach, then we fall out.
"..."
On our way there today in randy's car, i was thinking, weather is so bad, it's already raining intermittently, why bother turning up? To my surprise and our amusement, brian and phua had the same idea. And we even had our own contingency plan... MacDonalds! Haha...
YC had it the worst. By the time he reached, we were on our way out.
And he went "..."
And i didn't even get to see him yet. Haha. Maybe he threw a smoke on us. Led us on. And you know. Haha. Mobile phones can do tricks to your ears at times.
And yes, i haven't finish my work. Last minute mob changes made me cranky. And the lack of information for next month's duty personnel also gave me a big headache. I could churn out those forms required for duty only if i had adequate information. S3 told me that he has sent them to us already. But i don't have it! So how?! Simple. Means i have to go back today. Great changes to the mob submission has also caused me some headaches. So as you can see, a little headache here and a little headache there gives me a big headache altogether.
Well, enough of my own woes for the time being.
I've read all about tsunamis when i was back in secondary school, in geography. About how it's actually caused by underwater earthquakes when the earth crusts move towards or away from one another. It was all theory, all so unreal, so far. But this time round, it happened to near to home. And so near, yet all we singaporeans feel is just news and news and news. Perhaps its the frequency of such emergencies that has been happening over the years. 2001 was the 911 incident. 2002 was bali bomb blast. 2003 was sars. And just as we are about the end this year peacfully, asian tsunami.
About 123,000 has died thus far. And it can still rise. Just a couple of days ago, i was asking S2 if it'll ever reach 100,000. He said firmly, no. And i'm telling you that it could jolly well reach 200,000. 5 million homeless, 123 thousands dead and thousands unaccounted for. As singaporeans we are really blessed, i guess. Naturally shielded from such natural calamities, and too small a target for some to even consider us a threat physically. Maybe economically.
Reading blogs always intrigued me into further thoughts. Ever since i've entered NS i've been guilty of being lazy in thoughts. The lazy-to-think mentality has been bestowed upon us for the fear of being labelled as questioning authority. Ironically, SAF wants us to be the thinking soldiers of today. Possible? Maybe, maybe not.
Introspective. That's how i described somebody today. That was how i was like last time. Really. Remembered i said that i was usually labelled sensitive yet blunt? That's because of my frank and introspective nature. But now, i kind of lose that introspective nature in me. Really getting lazy to pen my thoughts, my fears and my concerns in words. I know how does it feel when someone you trust a lot betrayed your innermost thoughts, and told someone else.
Betrayal: you can't betray someone else without first betraying yourself.
Haven't really talked about my dad ever before i guess. He was admit to SGH last week for a heart attack on monday. A few things zipped through my mind. Phone bills, bro's pocket money and his taxi. Oh sharks mom's gonna nag about money matters again. Yes, i was worried. I was never close to my dad, and i only visited him for once in hospital. Mom chided me for that. For not even calling home to ask how he was. I knew i wasn't being very filial. But somehow... i just feel this sense of detachment from the family. Maybe i'm not making enough effort, and so well, i really don't know if i should even try. Perhaps they don't even like me in the first place. Perhaps.
You have to first love before you can be loved... |
Shannon left at 10:32 a. m..
domingo, diciembre 26, 2004
[ 747. Future ]
I need to plan for my tertiary studies.
Let's state the facts first:
results
Chem: A
Math: A
F Math: C
Phy: D
Chem S: Dist
GP: B3
CL: B4
2004 action lists:
a) I've got a place in NUS arts and social science.
b) I know i qualify for NUS science and NTU business (since i was offered them as well)
c) I've been rejected by MOE for their teaching award.
d) I've failed the interview required for NTU communications studies.
Let's analyse those facts:
a) I've been labelled one of those idiots who had nothing better to do than to fight for places in FASS with those average scorers.
b) I didn't choose them cuz i was sick of science and business.
c) They offered me to read chemistry and/or math, but i gave them the 'i don't mind but i'm not really interested' answer.
d) I think i wrote crap in the essay part when they asked about my views this guy from a neighbourhood school dating a girl from rgs (i think).
I think i can forget about going overseas to study. Mom has told me there's no way i could get anywhere further than beijing if i was to go on mommie's scholarship. She's still paying off the mortgage, the car loan, her own study loan and she intends to go pursue her PhD. Grrrr... Oh never mind. It's her money, i can't really do much. Even if i were to stay at home to study (i.e. to say stay in sg la!), i would be financially tight. trust me and all other ord personnel. Money has always been a big issue after you orded.
Plans for 2005:
a) reapply for NTU communications studies
b) apply for defence merit scholarship
c) apply for sph scholarship
d) sign on...? and then perhaps apply for ATA/LSA
yeah. you heard me right. i'm toying with the idea actually. Nah, if you think i'm so naive and believe that after signing on my life will still be as slack as my current status, you can jolly go crack your head against the statue of liberty. I know it'll be tough. As in, by then i should be mentally prepared. For the training, the life of uniforms and buggy COs and whatnots. So.. pray that a OR b OR c will come through. Then i won't have to opt for d. Much less stay in FASS in NUS and get cursed by every other failed applicant to the faculty.
Ideas, ideas? |
Shannon left at 7:12 p. m..
[ 746. Xiaxue ]
I've read that xiaxue.blogspot.com was actually named something like the best blog of the year (or something similar). YOu know me, i never have got an eye for such details (unless it concerns me). Lolx. After being intrigued by felix's entry on how ordinary her blog can get, i decided to drop by just now and take a read or two.
Well, well, this girl is one of a smartarse i guess. Her latest couple of entries mentioning how she's qualified to join mensa, followed by a snide remark to those who thought she couldn't. What pride, what loudness, what flamboyance.
She's definitely different. If ahlians could blog in proper and vulgarities-free language, they could possibly reach her stage. Yes, by her photos she looks gorgeous. But notice that she rarely place unglamourized photos of her, so you go figure what i'm trying to say.
In a nutshell the only reasons why she was voted the best blog of the year:
- she used the right photos << those non-flabby, glammy photos
- she used the alternative voice << being the online bitch (like i do too)
- she writes a lot on her blog << no life for other stuff
- she writes everything, from broccoli's mother tongue to weddings << proves my point of her having no life
- she used pink on her blog << my only approval
Ok, enough of tearing down her blog. I so love mine. =) And the colour of her blog. |
Shannon left at 9:44 a. m..
[ 745. Tired ]
Yesterday was xmas day, and i still haven't finished writing my cards. Gee.
Tomorrow we're going S2's place. and i still haven't prepared the potato salad that i promised. Gee!
So how?
GEE!!!!!
(Xmas is making me nuts. Muahahahahah~!!!) |
Shannon left at 9:13 a. m..
sábado, diciembre 25, 2004
[ 744. Xmas Dinner ]
Everyone loves christmas dinners. Who doesn't? Hanging out with friends, enjoying the christmas mood. The gift of love, the atmosphere of warmth. Door to door, people are having barbeques, steamboats, buffets and more. Carols ringing from house to house; laughters and cheers heard all around and about.
Wide spread of raw meat, dumplings and tangyuans when i reached garreth's place. In fact, it's a wide spread of raw ingredients. ie to say, dumpling skins, flour, water, minced meat, shelled prawns and more. And it was already 2000h. So while helping out to wrap those dumplings, i commented, "by the time we are ready to start eating.... TEN!! NINE!! EIGHT!! SEVEN!! SIX!! FIVE!! FOUR!! THREE!! TWO!! ONE!! MERRY XMAS!!!!!!"
Ok, it wasn't that bad. We managed to start eating at ten. Surprisingly. Err... actually it was because we multitasked: some make, some cook and some eat. Yeah. Haha. Hundred over dumplings, fifty over tangyuans and many more other raw meat and stuff. Not the mention, arrays of xmas cards and gifts flying all around. Shamingly, i couldn't finish writing all my cards by xmas this year. Yeah.
Aye aye... so once again, merry xmas to all! |
Shannon left at 1:07 p. m..
[ 743. Number Game ]
You Are the Individualist |
4
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.
|
|
Shannon left at 10:50 a. m..
viernes, diciembre 24, 2004
[ 742. Birth Month ]
Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"
September Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisureand traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
True...? haha.... let me filter out some stuff to make it more personalised.
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic. |
Shannon left at 11:49 a. m..
miércoles, diciembre 22, 2004
[ 741. Xmas Cards ]
I've sent out 49 xmas cards this year by post, not inclusive those i'm giving out by hand. Cheers to those who receives my cards. =)
Anyway, merry xmas one and all! |
Shannon left at 6:17 p. m..
sábado, diciembre 18, 2004
[ 740. Time ]
Oh yes, eric made this comment which left me thinking for a while.
"The reason why i never asked you out nowadays is because you are always not free to join us. But you know that whenever you ask me out, i'll turn up." (As you can see, my translation skills... needs to be brushed up.)
Well... to think of it... quite true. Just a couple of days ago, i was teasing felix how come he didn't jio me to club with him on wednesday night. I mean, actually i didn't intend to go at all, but i thought it would be nice if he'd asked. (ok i know i sound like a lady here but... well, nvm.) Nonetheless, i do realize i seldom make time for others i guess. Or in fact, i try to spend time with so many different groups of people, that my time spent with each group is in fact so little. Generally, there are these few bunch of guys:
1. Signallers (those 3da signallers...)
2. Cell Grp (obligation.)
3. Closer church pals (gladly obligated.)
4. Ops room (after 5 movie kakis.)
5. Old friends (mervin and co.)
6. Xiaogou & gang (well, now this group is like almost out of the list.)
7. Mousedeer gang (you know who u are.)
So it's like, argh. I try to get to the different groups, to realize that actually i'm guilty of not spending enough time with others.
But nonetheless, i'm thankful for having these people around me to brighten up my day. =) |
Shannon left at 11:03 p. m..
[ 739. Fish & Co ]
A final theory trial test at 1000h, followed by home up till 1300h. I hit the zzz monster thereafter, waking up at 5 to find myself yet to be hungry. Somewhat feeling weird to be at home on a saturday afternoon, i called eric for dinner. Xianjin was soon dragged by us to fish and co as well. Haha.
Service was... slow. Can't find other words to explain it. It's simply, slow. Instead of bumming around for the required one hour for our table, we decided to hit ps instead to hunt for some eats. Settled on takopachi, and sat on those blocks and platforms at the 2nd basement before we tucked into those balls and gossips galore. Stories from turtle soup to taka & e fat lady to temper flares and what nots. The blessed call came to inform us of seats, only to wait again upon arrival. Well, everything was just slow. As in, from the food service, to asking for refills of ice water, and even the bill was slow. (For the record, the bill took 15 minutes to come.)
Ok, enough of being slow. I'm gonna sleep now. =) |
Shannon left at 10:50 p. m..
[ 738. Coincidence ]
Oh, this is something that i really have to say. God know what God wants to say, but i actually met garreth not once, but twice coincidentally this week. Yes, first time was in a cinema, and he walked along the isle and spotted me. Oh gawd... that kind of chances are pretty rare. Given that there were two theatres showing Ocean's Twelve at yishun at about the same time that day. Then today, i went for my final theory trial test... and i met him at SSDC. Oh, the first person i had to meet when i got up. =/
Ok, that's all i'm dedicating to him. Haa. Actually i'd have said more... but well, let's keep it spontaneous la. Shan't think too much on what to blog. Haha.
Feeling tired this week. Unnecessarily. Movies overdose & work overload. WEIMING wasn't around for a couple of days, and i had to cover his mobstates, in fear that i will be screwed. I know he might be reading this, but heck. It was like, somehow, this couple of days' worth of mobstates i think i've tried pretty hard to ensure that it's correct. I was telling wenfei, "ok, let's make a guess how badly will he screw me when he comes back on friday & check the mobstates." Wenfei said "oh, definitely." Maybe i'm just being pessimistic, but somehow i will overlook something. Like some of the figures. Argh... and you know the rest that happened on friday. (No, nothing explosive happened, but just some pintpointing errors and... argh.)
Note: Weiming's name is deliberately in CAPS, BOLD AND UNDERLINE because he requests to be named. That's if you are wondering why so.
TIBS bus drivers can be pretty nice at times. Last night i missed the last bus from tampines, so i had to take a nightrider to town to transfer to another nightrider. I fell asleep on the bus, and he woke me up at the transfer point. How nice.
And SAF is pretty nice too. Yes, you read me right, SAF paid me $55 for my usmses... haha... and i have some more to encash. Lolx! And, i've been reinbursed for my expenses for AOE, so it sort of ease up my financial burden this month. Yes.
Ok, i'm running a sleep debt, i'm gonna sleep.
One more thing before i go. Anyone wants christmas cards from me? Haah. Sms me your address then. =) |
Shannon left at 11:40 a. m..
miércoles, diciembre 15, 2004
[ 737. Upset ]
Came back from camp, from dinner with the dudes. Came back somewhat tired, so tired that i just can't be bothered to scream at my brothers like i usually do for messing up my room. Just packed my room, and realized my bag went missing. Eventually found it on the floor at the living room. Asked my brother, why did he take my bag, and he just ignored me. Then i told him, "Hey, i'm talking to you." Then he merely stared at me and i told him, "can't you answer me?" And dad decided to interfere and start raising his voice at me, demanding to know why i start making a fuss to moment i came back. I was so damn irritated, yet i'm surprised i haven't screamed. "Did i even raised my voice yet? Did i even scream at him the moment i came back and noticed that my things were being moved?" No, i didn't.
I'm feeling screwed. |
Shannon left at 8:47 p. m..
domingo, diciembre 12, 2004
[ 736. Outrageous ]
Service as usual today, except that mom was nice enough to send me down for service again. =) Well, that had a price to pay: i had to help her proof read her annual performance report and edit it. grrrr.... Anyway, just returned from dinner with mingxiu and co at bugis sketches. Place's not bad, ambience pretty streety. Haha, the last time i went there, i only had a drink. Plain water some more. Wheee... anyway, it was a dinner to bid mingxiu farewell to the polytechnic group. Food's good, fellowship's good and i guess everyone enjoyed themselves. I mean, it's been quite some time since we 85ers all gathered together just to chill out and have a meal. The last time we had a chalet, we were almost grilled badly for it. Of course, that was because we didn't account for it. Oops.
Nonetheless, i'm pretty hooked to this sound by Britney. Outrageous.
Outrageous
When I move my body
Outrageous
When I'm at a party
Outrageous
In my sexy jeans
Outrageous
When I'm on the scene
Outrageous
My sex drive
Outrageous
My shoppin' spree
Outrageous
We on a world tour
Outrageous
Let's be it, girl
Outrageous
Sexy as I wanna be
Got these fellas chasin' me
It's 'bout time I hit the streets
All my girls still feelin' me
B girl ain't lost the beat
Jumped over drama and I landed on my feet
Gotta keep goin'
No stoppin' me
And if you don't like it, then
La la la la la la la
Media, over here
Comin' through like a world premiere
Trench coat and my underwear
Let's go with this freak show
It's outrageous
When I move my body
Outrageous
When I'm at a party
Outrageous
In my sexy jeans
Outrageous
When I'm on the scene
Outrageous
My sex drive
Outrageous
My shoppin' spree
Outrageous
We on a world tour
Outrageous
Let's be it, girl
Outrageous
I'm about to bring the heat
Lockin' down the industry
All dressed up and glamorous
Red carpet and cameras
Take trips around the globe
Tints on my Jeeps so nobody knows
So hot, gotcha coming out ya clothes
I'm about to give ya the
La la la la la la la
Media, over here
Comin' through like a world premiere
Trench coat and my underwear
Let's go with this freak show
It's outrageous
When I move my body
Outrageous
When I'm at a party
Outrageous
In my sexy jeans
Outrageous
When I'm on the scene
Outrageous
My sex drive
Outrageous
My shopping spree
Outrageous
We on a world tour
Outrageous
Let's be it, girl
I just wanna be happy
In a place where love is free
Can you take me there
Somebody, ooh
And when you mention my name
Make sure you know the truth, yeah
Until I vow to keep it forever
Outrageous
When I move my body
Outrageous
When I'm at a party
Outrageous
In my sexy jeans
Outrageous
When I'm on the scene
Outrageous
My sex drive
Outrageous
My shopping spree
Outrageous
We on a world tour
Outrageous
Just be it, girl
Outrageous
When I move my body
Outrageous
When I'm at a party
Outrageous
In my sexy jeans
Outrageous
When I'm on the scene
Outrageous
My sex drive
Outrageous
My shopping spree
Outrageous
We on a world tour
Outrageous
Just be it, girl |
Shannon left at 9:18 p. m..
viernes, diciembre 10, 2004
[ 735. Pinball ]
Oh gawd. Didn't know that pinball can be so addictive. Haha. And guess what? S2 taught me how to play the game yesterday. Haha. Didn't know it was more than just simply whack the balls and made sure it doesn't fall. Lolx. Now i'm raking in millions of points. Ok, not exactly millions, but i'm hitting a couple of them already. |
Shannon left at 7:06 p. m..
[ 734. Friends ]
Well, i promised you guys photos and photos you shall get. Though it's pretty troublesome:
1) Create my photos in office
2) Transfer them to thumbdrive
3) Bring home
4) Disconnect my internet at home
5) Attach thumbdrive to the only USB port on laptop
6) Transfer from thumbdrive to desktop
7) Take out thumbdrive and attach modem
8) Connect
9) Upload photos
10) Post them
But i'm still dying to share the photos. Not alot, but i promise they'll be in healthy supply.
As for this... this photo is dedicated to mingxiu. This poor gal is moving over to the nyp group. Her first major move ever since she came into church in jc1. Wonder how much will this pt group miss her...
|
Shannon left at 3:52 p. m..
[ 733. Genting Overdue - Coffee ]
|
Shannon left at 3:50 p. m..
[ 732. Genting Overdue - On The Way ]
|
Shannon left at 3:49 p. m..
[ 731. Week in Short ]
Well... i've been getting lazier and lazier when it comes to blogging. Or rather, even making the effort to find an internet access kind of gets to me as troublesome through the week... so heck with it. So well, let me recap each day in a brief form... (guys, you know when this happens, i'm running out of things to write.)
Monday
Tummyache still persisted. (thinking hard at what happened on monday... nothing registered. oh wait!) Went for recce with tom and bowen. Ok, i booked in the night before as lta boh and bso were recording the voice portion for the 3da corporate video... thereafter bso treated us to dinner supper. Oh yes... back to monday. (xuan... you've gotta learn NOT to deviate from the topic...) okokokok. I went biking on thomas' bike from yishun down to bishan as it was still early, before catching breakfast at mac and reaching newton by nine. And bowen was late. I gave him a morning call already. And bowen was late. And i told him i'm biking down to bishan first. And bowen was late. ARGH. But never mind... so we recced the entire stretch of bukit timah road, when God decided to give us a wet-weather trial as well. It start drizzling before it turned into a full shower at our final destination (which shall not be disclosed.) I had to risk my dear camera to the elements again, and pray that it doesn't malfunction. Again.
Tuesday
Went for the heliborne training. No... not that i went for training, but rather, to film the training for the corporate video. Too bad i couldn't see the heli fly that day due to certain reasons, but it was something that i guess i won't really get to see very often though i'm in ada. Talked quite a fair bit to the 16th wso officers, and saw quite some vast difference between the 2 batches of officers. Hmmm.... Successfully made bso feel guilty about my late return to unit at 2140h, in which he treated me to supper... again!
Wednesday
Watched Blade Trinity with the ops room people. Oh yes, kelvin came back from his japan trip, and i was addicted to the snacks his brought back. Awww... Wenfei did guard, and that poor boy; that's the second guard he did in three weeks. For guard (comd) frequencies of once every two months... he's indeed... suay.
Ahh. Screw the rest of the days in the week. Kind bored with this style of writing. Like i read a couple of weeks back, it's like i'm merely reporting every single bloody detail of my life, as if i've got no audience. In the first place, who wants to read about every single moment of my life??? Yeah.
Nonetheless, i went over to tekong today. To send john off. Exactly a year ago, i was in his shoes. Trudging into tekong, all thanks to my failed napfa. I was slightly better off: i could do 4 pull ups. Met CPT Iskandar (my OC) and 2SG Abdillah. CPT Isk could still remember me... the guy with all the gross insect bites after the field camp. Haha. And sgt abdillah. My sect comd back then, a rookie, fresh out of aslc, and now platoon sergeant. Gosh it's all too fast. Seems like only yesterday that i'm still in tekong. Being my fourth time sending someone into tekong, i've gotten smarter. Booked-in as a military visitor instead so i didn't have to be brought around like dogs on the enlistment route: medical center, coy line, introduction to issued items and oath taking ceremony. Rather, i went to meet LTA boh at the canteen. That poor gal, has been attached to BMTC to mentor a platoon of female combat tech recruits. It's only now then i realize that actually female combat tech personnel are also qualified to fire arms. Brought LTA boh around the bmtc for a little orientation, before i headed back to canteen to wait for john's oath taking ceremony to be over.
On the way back, messaged a few bmt friends to commemorate our one-year milestone... well, 16 more months to go, 16 more $500+ to go. And by then... it'll only be memories to keep.
Popped by the library to take 2 books for reads. I should start reading... that is, after i've stop procrastinating. Haha. So ironic right? Lolx. |
Shannon left at 3:11 p. m..
domingo, diciembre 05, 2004
[ 730. Service ]
Hmmm... guess it's a long time since i posted about service. Yes. Actually i was late again today. Ooops. But this time with a reason. I'm late because i'm sick. Was rolling on my bed at home, struggling with the ache of my stomach. So eventually, i hail a cab down to service.
Today's service was like normal, but i can't really concentrate. Really troubled by that tummy of mine. Grrr..... but nonetheless. Was really touched by the cg. Especially junting & tom, for offering to pray for me. Oh yes, tom was the one who bought the cheena medicine for me yesterday as well. I mean... it's been quite some time since i last experienced such warmth from the group. And i'm really glad and like xiaohei likes to put it, feeling all warm and fuzzy. Haha...
Spent the entire afternoon talking about the rat race recce, and practising guitar. Nothing much, except that i've been stagnating when it comes to whacking the guit... hmm... it's time to start again. Yeah. |
Shannon left at 6:24 p. m..
[ 729. Tummyache ]
Yes, i woke up with a thump today. Felt like something stirring badly in my stomach. Tried to ignore it and slept on. The pain was unbearable. Woke me up finally at slightly before 8am. Dragged myself out of bed to go to the toilet. Argh. The pain sustained through the day. With no subsidy. Ouch...
Sat through the entire uni forum today. My first ever! Wheee... never knew i could learn so much from the uni forum. About how to re-invent ministry without relinquishing our fundamentals. Though much time was spent in debating over terminologies and such, but it was time well spent. Had a really long dinner with the bros and sis, and for once i really enjoyed myself. Yes. =) |
Shannon left at 1:04 a. m..
sábado, diciembre 04, 2004
[ 728. Fellowship ]
I've been pretty blessed this week. For the three days that i've been in camp, i had people to give me a lift to the exact location that i'm heading. Thank you so much, ssg ow and randy.
Had a little longer talk with ssg ow on wednesday as he sent me to plaza singapura. He was sharing his experience in ops room for the past five months he has been here since he taken over as ops warrant since july. Ups and downs, that i can understand. Since i've been in the ops room for almost as long, i could testify to what he said. I, myself had my fair share of ups and downs in ops room. Mostly conflicts with my upper study. Just yesterday, it was another of those face off with him. Regarding mob state which i shan't elaborate.
Last night, randy sent me home. Not long after i was heading towards tiong bahru to meet bowen. Found him comix connection looking at the ps2 naruto game. And he was whining (yes, whining) to me "... i waaaaaaaaan a ps twoooooooooo.....". I gave him a o_O look and the following conversation ensued:
me: never mind... we'll share and buy one okie? (sounds like i'm coaxing a lil kid)
bo: okay... then we'll put it at my place... and you'll never see it again! muahaha...
me: (-_-") then you can pay me back installments....
bo: ("-_-)
such dialogue always happen between the two of us... haha... sound kiddish and such, but it's lil things like this that appetize our mood to start sharing about the greater things in life. On my way to bukit merah, we just talked about our week: my genting trip, his new zealand exercise next year, my upper study, his training, the church camp next year, our projected trip to anywhere out of singapore, and so on. I really admire this brother sometimes. So much so that i feel hopeless for him also. This dear of mine actually didn't have an inkling where bt merah at all. He was intending on taking a cab from tiong bahru. Then again, it's not the first time. It always amazes me about the faith that he has that he know how to get to the right place eventually. Maybe it's the faith in the taxi drivers in singapore. Haha, that i'm joking, but he always show me the faith that God will bring him to the right place. And i always seems to be vessel that leads him there. Many times i had to navigate and bring him to the right place after all.
The guys were already done with the conference, so we headed straight for macdonalds to meet them for dinner. Then you know, the inevitable sharing sessions. I have to applaud sharon for the effort she puts in the make every sharing session a different one. It's not easy, really. But for me, it wasn't either. I'm losing my touch in sharing my life with these guys. Sometimes, it just seems to me that people aren't really interested anyway. No, i could justify that. Just last night, when it was my turn, people were subconsciously engrossed in their own conversations, or playing with that little kid on the next table. Feel kinda hurt, but i just went on to talk about my week. Hastily ended it, and then miraculously their attention were on the next guy who shared. Hmmm.
Sometimes it makes me wonder how come i'm holding on to this group. What's left for me to hold on, anyway. But upon pondering, i realized there are much. People. People that i can't bear to disappoint, to leave. I know i've disappointed them much, but the least i could do is to disappoint them further. People like enghow, bowen and some more. People that i know i'm coming back for. People whom i can see God through their lives, what we call bridges between me and God. That God can still be real to man...
"Open my eyes, let me see." |
Shannon left at 10:01 a. m..
viernes, diciembre 03, 2004
[ 727. Chinese ]
I'm so damned. This berlardi template of mine simply refuse to let me post chinese characters. And the worst thing? Other seems to have no problems with posting chinese characters. Dammit.
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Shannon left at 7:14 p. m..
jueves, diciembre 02, 2004
[ 726. Genting - In Full ]
Just barely 12 hours after mobilisation exercise ended, i dragged myself out of bed to make a call to eric. Firstly to ensure that he's on his way, second to coord the place which i'm suppose to meet him, somewhere near my place.
Dad drove eric, mom, bro and myself to beach road, the usual pick up point for malaysian trips. Kiasu mom made sure that we reached there by 0630, only to give me ample time to go opposite, take a seat, order a bowl of noodles, enjoy it and stroll back to the waiting area to read my newspaper. Yes, we departed at 0700. Around that, i guess.
Never cleared customs so quickly ever before i guess. Thought that since it's holiday season, the jams will start clogging up, but heck with it: it was nowhere to be found. Was enroute to genting on the north-south highway even before 0930. Had a couple of mandatory stops on the way, you know, those shopping stops or lunch breaks at the overly-visited stops at yong peng or ayer hitam.
Reached the cable car station at 1400. Fastest ever, though the trip of about 400km is really a drag, but thanks to Da Vinci Code and Britney Spears, the trip seemed about half as deary. Nonetheless, it should be noted that the cable car ride can actually be slated as one of the 'thrill rides' of genting. One part of which actually took on a slope of no less than 45 degrees. The last time i took it with my class girls a year ago, i stepped off the gondola with semi deaf ears (mostly due to acrophobic shrieks) that took another half a day and half a pizza to recover.
Check in first, shopping first. A quick bite, some little arcade, and off to dinner we went. This little hut tucked away a little distance from genting highlands, serves one of the best chinese food in the area. Ummm. Ok, take into consideration certain facts such as the highly unpalatability food they serve up in the hotel itself. Heck with it, we were enjoying the RM220 dinner for 10 with large prawns, fresh pomfret, sea cucumber (which don't come cheap) and other chinese dishes that you can imagine.
The night was spent on shopping. Went around the shopping arcade in first world, as well as checking prices for the theme park. To my delight and eric's horror, we found a ktv there as well. For charges like RM24++ per pax for happy hour, i bugged eric shamelessly to make it our wet weather programme. Not to mention, disgustingly pray for the rain the following day.
Much to my disapppointment it didn't rain... so we blew like RM129 for three theme park tickets for the two of us and my bro. No to think of it, we didn't actually take much rides. First was the vertical drop thing which i simply REFUSE to take. Being acrophobic, or rather, the fear of sudden drop in height, I enjoyed my cup of maggi mash potato while waiting for the two of them to queue for the ride. Eric had the guts to comment about the lack of speed in the free falling, and there i see eric coming out of the ride, slightly pale in the face.
Took that indoor mini-roller coaster, as well as the outdoor version, cyclone. Manage to get on this gold mine thrill ride which seems like just another cyclone. Heck with it. Broke off for lunch since we woke up late and screwed breakfast. Tempted by Pizza Hut prices we can never get in Singapore, we went and had it. So full, that we had to withdraw to our room for a rest before continuing. Alas, the afternoon was quite non-eventful i guess, the mist stopped quite a number of rides, and hence we went on only the spinner and the simulator ride before going for another shopping break.
Ahh... let me talk about my shopping spree. I splurged on two shirts, which i easily coaxed mom into buying for me. Not exactly buy for me, but to pay for me in advance since i didn't have that much cash. Aww... so sad, but heck. I bought them anyway. Muahahahs. Even mom thought they were nice. That's all it matters.
Met up with kailoong in the late night, and he was disgusted by the fact that i could walk around genting with my sleeveless and my SAF shorts. Even as we strolled to First World via the internal route and back to Genting Hotel via the outdoor route, he was freezing so much more than me. Gee. Went to macdonalds for supper, before we walked past this disco. The lazy me shall now quote you from eric's blog:
"Met up with Kai Loong there at night for supper. We had no where to go at night! Boring. In the end, we ended up in a pub called Safari. Weird. Their opening hours are damn short. 1730 to 2200 was live band performance and from 2200 till 0200 was clubbing and that's it. Only till 0200! The place is good but the crowd is old. Tourists from all around the world came here and gosh, we had aunties and uncles dancing like the 60s inside! Haha. First time in my life I've heard club playing Canto and Malay Techno! Eh... They had no themes unlike Singapore and all their tracks were quite jumbled up. The good ones came real late but the fun was ending soon."
That was easy reading, isn't it? =) good job... xuan... good job...
Anyway, it was like all over so soon. Third day, we woke up, had breakfast, then barely an hour later, had lunch and then we were on our way back to singapore. The bus journey was long, but sufficient for me to complete the book that i've finally started. I shall not comment on the book since it's highly controversial.
Well... let's go on to something more interesting. Actually, i didn't really enjoy myself throughout the trip. I reckon that even though i was away, on a break, but i don't feel like i'm giving myself a break. Still very much depressed, i guess. About relationships, about friends, about my life, my future. About my past, my identity and my thoughts. That's my problems: i think too much. I thrive on people, on relationships. And ever since the tumble i took back in JC2, i had never seemed to really recover fully from it. On the contrary, sometimes i feel i've fallen deeper. On the trip back, melancholy sets in. Something that i enjoy yet detest. Feel lonely yet not alone. Feel down, but yet circumstances keep me up.
Ahh sharks. I'm planning for my ORD trip. Made some minor discussions with eric. Thinking of going taiwan in 2006. Any takers? |
Shannon left at 8:28 p. m..