my.escape

miércoles, junio 30, 2004

[ 587. Granted ]

I'm fuming. Something tells me i'm taken for granted. Mom wanted me to come home to eat today. For once she requested. So i took the pains to rush off from camp at 530pm so that i could reach home by 6 to have dinner before having tuition at 7. Not to mention encountering a stupid taxi driver of SHA616G who amazingly clocked 5 bucks on the cab ride from amk back home. With the surcharge, it cost me 6 bucks. FIRST TIME EVER I SPENT SIX DOLLARS ON CAB FARE FROM AMK TO HOME. Usually it takes 4, without the surcharge. Then when i got home, grandma haven't even got home. Mom's not even home. I called mom and she just told me to tell grandma that i got tuition later and ask her to hurry up. If not, simply go downstairs to the coffeeshop and eat. Oh, so now it's MY fault?! Hello, you asked and i made the effort. Half an hour from camp to home is a feat on public transport at peak hour ok?! And now all i came back in expectation of some nice home cooked dinner and that's the reception i get?!

Shannon left at 6:31 p. m..

martes, junio 29, 2004

[ 586. Bored ]

Being duty signaller has its fun and pains. Especially when you are deprived of sleep for the past few days. Not surprising, i was in a cranky mood today. Went around bitching (jokingly) almost everyone, especially eric and hansel. Sorry dudes, it's just one of those days. Finally got to really talk to bso about the battery issue. Made it known to him that if i can't become the copa, i'd love to go over and help felix out. At least i know what i want. =) Been kind of busy the whole day. Answering phone calls, doing administrative work, retyping lots of stuff, sending reports and such. Entertaining people, playing around with platoon mates as well, while being bullied by felix who always accuse me of doing things that i didn't. Who always comes in and try to stir trouble among the signallers. Some friend you are... haha. Take care dudes. =)

Shannon left at 7:39 p. m..

lunes, junio 28, 2004

[ 585. Friend ]

A friend is a single soul trapped in 2 bodies. Discuss.

Shannon left at 9:30 p. m..

[ 584. I am ]

10 Years Ago, I ...

1. was 9 years old.
2. was in Pei Chun Public School .
3. think that my form teacher was cool, being able to teach english, math, science and pe.
4. was not fat.
5. stayed in bishan.

5 Years Ago, I ...

1. was 14 in VS. (Yes, it's the school that tkgians hates.)
2. came to know Christ. (ok, not exactly 5 years, but a lil more.)
3. was faithfully skipping chi orchestra practices even though it was syf year.
4. was fat.
5. had a horrible form teacher.

3 Years Ago, I ...

1. was 16.
2. was wondering if i screwed up my 'o's.
3. still wondering if i could go ajc.
4. was horribly fat.
5. left church on a short vacation.

2 years ago, I ...

1. went into srjc.
2. realised that sr was a horrible place.
3. joined choir regretably.
4. had a large social circle that i never had before.
5. was still fat.

A Year Ago, I ...

1. was taking my 'A's.
2. was busily arguing with teachers about how come our plans couldn't be executed.
3. hated f-maths.
4. did cheer leading for my house.
5. lost 9 kg.

So Far This Year, I ...

1. got good results for my 'A's.
2. liked and hated ns life.
3. realized that politics exist everywhere.
4. learned to bitch less.
5. knew that there's much more to learn that rotting in ns.

Yesterday, I ...

1. was at national stadium.
2. called felix and he rejected my calls. (bleah~)
3. just finished my guard for lionel.
4. was tired.
5. took a lot of photos.

Today, I ...

1. went out with chris for lunch.
2. cancelled tuition.
3. rot at home.
4. woke up late.
5. need to book in.

Tomorrow I will ...

1. do ds duty.
2. listen to CO during his talk.
3. slack in office.
4. diet.
5. diet.

Shannon left at 6:54 p. m..

[ 583. NDP ]

and here's a photo of ndp rehearsal that you'll probably won't get to see as a spectator.

Shannon left at 11:53 a. m..

domingo, junio 27, 2004

[ 582. Rehearsal ]

Spent the whole day at stadium. Sleeping. Rotting. Utter waste of time i guess.

Think i've been neglecting myself for quite some time. Wait a minute. I don't mean neglect in the sense of lack of pampering or so on. It's just those time where i think of nothing else, of no one else, nor relationships, but simply about myself. About my life thus far. About my road ahead. About me and God. About me. Every last thought i had over the past weeks was about friends. About politics. About people. But yet not about myself. About how to maintain relationships with others. About how to be a friend to others. But yetn ot bout how to take care and be true to myself. There are many decisions that i want to make, but i find what's stopping me is that people willbe disappointed. Don'tbe mistaken, i'm not a people-pleaser. I'm just don't want to offend people. Best if our paths don't cross, but if i'm caught in a fix, i'll be like... "sharks."

Borrowed quite a lot of vcds recently. 6 in 2 weeks, to be precise. Think i'll stay home and watch one tomorrow before going for lunch with chris and then for tuition. Thank God for day offs. I'm dying. Completely burnt. Ouch.

Shannon left at 10:24 p. m..

[ 581. Guard ]

Dismounted from guard barely an hour ago. And now i'm home, typing this and listening to mp3s while waiting for my breakfast. The next hour, i'll be on my way to national stadium for national day parade rehearsal. Ouch. I'm darn tired.

I'm still darn childish for my age. *gasp* you guys must be thinking what took me so long to realize that, right? Actually i knew it all along (ok, that sounded sooooo cliche) but it's more of that i refuse to grow up. Being the oldest in the family forced me to grow up in ways that i don't want to. That's perhaps why whenever i have a choice, i'd rather be the child that i want. The one with no responsibility, with someone to look after me and so on. But if need, the adult in me will come out, i guess (and i hope). And NS life has really denatured, or rather, degenerated me. I'm no longer as well informed and well read like i used to be. In short, i feel like a complete dumb dumb. Uh uh. No way man. So now i'm starting all over again by studying economics. =)

Review of my blog showed me how uncreative i can get when it comes to writing. More than half the time when i try to blog the moment i get home, it always end up starting with "just got back from...". How nice right?

Oh yes, last night's match was a lousy match. Again. Nil-nil. Expected la....

Shannon left at 9:01 a. m..

miércoles, junio 23, 2004

[ 580. Wayang ]

Quite disappointed at how my whole week has turned out. Disillusioned. Saw a lot, heard a lot, experienced a bit of unit life. The acts, the things that people say, the strings that was pulled and so on. The puppet show was up again this week. Just didn't understand why people had to resort to this method in order to guarantee their stay. Ok, perhaps it's not my business. My term is up, my fate's decided. I can only wait and see what other's are. And also pray hard that i won't have much to do with them. And also pray that i won't meet worse people than them. Hmmmmm... isn't that a bit too much to pray for when in reality there are much worse people than them? hello eric, please wake up....!!! Ok... perhaps i should. Mingrui said something damn true. "Wherever you go, there may be worse people than those mantous." That i didn't consider. Seriously. Everyone's telling me to stay. But i seriously have no idea. My sixth sense told me otherwise. Damn the sixth sense. Maybe i'm sensitive, or what, but somehow i just feel that i've offended some superiors in the office. Won't say why, but hopefully i'm just oversensitive. Bleah. Let God decide where i'm supposed to go....

And lastly, congrats ben. You're finally promoted. Hahahaha... =p

Shannon left at 8:24 p. m..

domingo, junio 20, 2004

[ 579. Darren ]

Oh, my losing brother's bdae has just passed and i cleaned forgotten ALL about it! So as i always do... haha... this entry is dedicated to him.

Well... and to all who's reading this entry, do me a favour. Visit the following site:

http://www.pure-rock.net

Iguarantee it really rawks~ hee...

Thanks dudes~ Cheers.

Shannon left at 9:20 p. m..

[ 578. Charlie's home ]

Yeay!!! Finally my deary little cam got home. People, say hi to charlie!

Anyway... here's a little event that happened during my mom's trip. My stupid lil bro actually REFORMAT the entire memory card and my mom lost all the hundred plus photos she took during the trip. Imagine her wrath.

Nonetheless, it's none of my business. Charlie's back with me and that's all it matters. I'm on cloud nine... lalalala...

Shannon left at 6:54 p. m..

[ 577. Camera ]

Oh my darling camera is finally coming home in less than 12 hours time. Sharks, i did it again.

Shannon left at 3:07 a. m..

sábado, junio 19, 2004

[ 576. Blogging ]

Oh peach. I really feel like blogging today, but circumstances gonna stop me from doing so. First, i have to rest early if i want to think about waking up early tomorrow to attend the first service before going to the airport to pick mom up. So, well, this gonna be a short entry.

Went for the syc concert just now. Fantastic. Enjoyed the night, though i have to note that the crowd wasn't exactly... a crowd. Nonetheless, it's the first time i'm watching them perform but i guess they did pretty fine from what i heard. Kinda shocked to see kenny khoo performing actually. Almost forgotten clean about him until i saw that face of his. Damn.

Next week's gonna be bad for me. Saturday i have guard. Sunday i got ndp. Help anyone...?

Shannon left at 11:59 p. m..

[ 575. Stay out ]

Yet another stay out day. Yeay. So far i only stayed in camp for a day. Haha. Thank God. Ever since the long weekend last week, monday tuesday wednesday i'm involved in the exercise. Thursday was off, so i only booked in on thursday night. Today was stay out, because tomorrow was parade marking.

One thing that's bothering me was the posting. Whether if i'll (or rather, me and eric) stay in signal platoon, or go over to the battery side. Now suddenly i just want to go over to bravo. After just a day in hq platoon i feel so sick of it. The politics, the pushing of responsibilities between the trainees, the discussion of the possibilities of who's staying and who's not. The initial idea before we went for course was this: the best trainee in the course platoon usually gets to stay. That was one motivation for all of us to work hard. Halfway through the course, we heard that all but one will be posted to the batteries. And i was like, so we worked so hard for what? And so what if i got second overall? I mean, not that it was solely to guarantee a place in hq sig plt, but it was to prove to myself that i could do well too. But i've been getting mixed signals from a lot of sources with regards to whether we stay or go. But after coming back for a day, and aafter talking to people like staff ow, sgt felix, and so on, maybe it's not a bad idea after all to go to the batteries. I want to be kept busy. And I want to go bravo. At least i know i'll learn a lot from sgt felix. Just today when he brought me around, he bothered to explain to me what's what. I really admire him for that. Nonetheless, my fate will be decided by God on tuesday... God bless me.

Shannon left at 12:06 a. m..

miércoles, junio 16, 2004

[ 574. Earlier ORD ]

ORD lo!!!!!! lolx... my NEW ORD date: 090406!

Ok... exercise is finally over. Time to rest. Tomorrow off. Yeay.

Shannon left at 11:33 p. m..

martes, junio 15, 2004

[ 573. Tuition ]

Advertising on behalf of deborah:

Tuition assignment in tampines area. $170/8 sessions. English, sec one. Anyone interested? Leave a comment.

Shannon left at 3:13 p. m..

lunes, junio 14, 2004

[ 572. Essay ]

Being fat is the greatest sin of this century. Discuss.

Shannon left at 10:06 p. m..

domingo, junio 13, 2004

[ 571. Camera ]

Ya know what? I feel so restless without my camera. Mom took it to china for her thesis presentation as part of her master's programme. Just hope that she get back real soon so that i can start snapping as much as possible. Nonetheless, been blog surfing and saw some really nice photos put up by someone.. it's not really excellent photography, but its just that he's able to capture what he wants and arrange them in a very attractive manner... if only i could do that.

Oh yes... anyone knows how to make combine those side by side photos and make it look like one good wide-angle shot...?

Shannon left at 12:10 a. m..

sábado, junio 12, 2004

[ 570. Shrek ]

Shannon left at 7:53 p. m..

[ 569. Tuition ]

Oh yes, i forget to mention this. Actually i lost two of my tuition kids a fortnight ago. I was like thinking, sharks, there goes $200 bucks a month. How to pay bills?! Well, the good news is this. I found another tuition. Cheers~

Shannon left at 11:16 a. m..

viernes, junio 11, 2004

[ 568. Brothers ]

Shannon left at 11:26 p. m..

[ 567. Missed ]

Anyone missed me? Haha. That's a cool two weeks hiatus from blogging i think. Much has happened during the two weeks Let me try to recap...

my exercise last week was a... success! Personally i felt that i'm not that popular with the platoon, so being the ex ic was not exactly the best thing given that kind of support from the platoon BUT i really have to thank the platoon for helping so much. The setting up till about 8 plus on the ex day eve. For waking up so early on ex day and falling in in long four. For doing all the odd job that i ~~asked~~ told them to do. For especially putting up with my bitchiness and consistent yelling. Thanks guys.

the church camp. Went all the way to jb for the annual church camp. Though i missed all the teachings by the time i got there with garreth, bo and jo, but guess we all felt pretty ministered and reignited by the people, the charge, the atmosphere and our own conscience. The many things that God revealed to me especially during my signal course just convicted me during the camp. I dunno how, but things should go up hill again.

end of course. Today is my end of course... and i came in second for platoon ranking! That i really have to thank God... especially for my radio practical test. That was a major pull up for my ranking i guess. I got 2.4% short of full marks. Ouch. Nonetheless, it has really been a great experience all round during the six weeks... be it learning signals or politics or psychology or human behaviour or laying line or singing songs, its definitely one of the best times of my army life.

So that should conclude my two weeks... i'm really dead beat. Guard on wednesday, and last night i slept only 3 hours. Ouch.

Shannon left at 7:35 p. m..

miércoles, junio 02, 2004

[ 566. Printers ]

Oh how i hate printers. It have to die now when i'm running out of time and paper. And all the printers in the world seems to die together. Either those that has a printer are uncontactable (or so i presume), if otherwise, those at home have printers that are out of order. Screw these printers. I wonder who made these printers.

Shannon left at 7:17 p. m..

[ 565. Dhoby Ghaut ]

Shannon left at 8:51 a. m..

[ 564. Blog Surfing ]

Don't ask me why i'm up and about so early in the morning. Ok, that in relative terms as compared to the girls my age out there who rot out there till they get till school. The guys should be cursing their bio clock by now. Well, so i did my usual surfing. And i just love quoting these blogs.

Shake:
"I hope my irritating way of writing and then ending each sentence wif many dots instead of only A fullstop dot dot dot dot is ok wif everyone dot dot dot if it's too irritatin and is going against every punctuation rule in the Book Of The English Language dot dot dot pls let me noe dot dot dot thanks dot dot dot"

But... but... but... it's just so natural right? The desire of wanting to write (or rather, type) the way we actually speak it, with all those pauses and dragging of vowels and whatnots.

Marvin:
"Heard some shocking news on Friday. You know the pilot who crashed in Arizona? The pilot is Kwang Yi's brother. Even though I don't know Kwang Yi very well, I know what it feels like to lose a loved one so suddenly. You'll be in my prayers. Take care yea?"

I suspected it. When i saw the name, i thot it was strangely similar to my friend's. Ouch. Kwangyi was my seconday school tuition mate, and did meet his parents a couple of times, though never saw his brother before. Ouch. You'll be in my prayers.

Liza:
"I swear i feel like an idiot sometimes. Our instructor asked me & shake yesterday if we were going to the gala premiere of the Prisoner of Azkaban at Cineleisure that evening.
And i asked back, "Which Cineleisure?"
There was no mistaking the moment of awkward silence then. Shake gave me that look (a look she always gives me whenever i say smthing stupid in public) which is a cross between wanting to shoot me in the head with a Bazooka, and reminding herself to remain calm coz this is liza we're talking abt.
"Liza there's onli one Cineleisure," she finally managed to say.

I don't blame you. I really don't blame you. This is good fodder for reader's digest. Hahahaha. =p

One other trend i realize when i was blog surfing... people seems be thinking alot about bgr during this lull period. I mean, this long half-year between studies and studies when you try to fill up with everything from snoring at home to hawking pirated cds. And if you know me, i shall give my two cents worth. What's up with love? And what do you really call love? Let me remind you, there's a whole world of difference between love, like, crush, and infatuation. There's also lust that i don't know how to fit in in tis hierarchy.

Infatuation occurs mostly when you first come to know someone. Someone who looks good (usually), is nice to you and seems to often smile in your direction. That's when your heart starts beating faster, and you start to entertain the possibility of being knowing that person better. This phase has often been portrayed to be love in movies, and i'm asking you to WAKE UP. Hello, this is the reality.

Crush, is a step further. You know who that person is (maybe not personally), what is his/her general likes and dislikes and start to observe him/her more because you find him/her desirable. Someone you like to know more. At least for a good friend. And i don't mean someone that you would just like to take to bed and then say goodbye. This is something more meaningful.

Like is when you already know someone, someone that you have good experiences with. Maybe thru hanging out. Thru working together. You're generally impressed with that person, and think of that person with major good traits and minor flaws. Someone that you're very comfortable with in hanging out, in sharing, in whatsoever. Someone that you like and you'll happily tell your close pals and dreamily describe your experiences with them and then you girls go giggling over it.

Love is when you experience all of the above, and start to see the balanced side of a person. Even experience some bad vibes with that person. But something somehow just continue to stick your mind on him/her. Its just this sensation that tells you that he/she actually means something in your heart. That even that he/she is just another human who is flawed, he/she is still special to you. So much so that you often place he/she above yourself. His/her happiness matters more than yours. That even if it means going miles (literally), taking care of that person, or even letting him/her go makes him/her more happy than status quo, you'll do it.

And lastly... lust. Simply means someone who looks delicious to you and your mission is just to take him/her to bed. Get a life. -_-"

So people... this is my twenty cent's worth of love theory. Just to add to the ongoing ones. Bleah.

Shannon left at 8:09 a. m..

martes, junio 01, 2004

[ 563. Vesak Day ]

Oh great. 2 days just passed and i have tons of news. First, i do not have any guard today, tomorrow, and this sunday. Thank God. Really. By simple mathematics you'll know that chances are really slim that you slip thru all three guard duties consecutively. Hmmm. Second, i'm the exercise ic for this friday's final exercise for the course. So much to do, so many expectations to meet. Thankfully, so much experience to learn from. Third, i watched 'Day after Tomorrow' today. Nice show i guess, left me literally cold. Watch it and you'll know what i mean. Fourth, two of my students have just quit my tuition class. I'm in need of students now. Anyone interested?

Meeting enghow tomorrow. So excited.

Shannon left at 10:26 p. m..

gone. will i be back? i don't know. maybe i've started elsewhere. maybe never. again.