my.escape

miércoles, abril 28, 2004

[ 546. Parade Marking ]

Just got back from parade marking, and no, i'm not at home. I'm blogging in the last place you'd expect: the emart in my camp. Yes, the emart. Whatever that is. Anyway, was walking into the emart while someone else was blog surfing as well. Kind of makes me stressed out, with the kind of stuff people type. You know, those kind where you have to use a dictionary every five words? Yes, those are the kind my dear bunkmate actually reads. Ouch on my mental. Ok, gotta go.

Shannon left at 2:15 p. m..

lunes, abril 26, 2004

[ 545. Granny ii ]

Just got back from the hospital with granny. She went there for the pre op tests. I think she has got cataracts, and she had to remove them you see. So it's like, was talking to her and realized how old she is actually. 85. Eighty five long years. All she told me today was how old is she, and how little time she had left. She don't even see if she could last through this year. You know how much it hurts. It reminded me of a friend who mentioned this: "You know you're growing up when you start attending lots of funerals." I don't want to. I really don't want to. It seems like yesterday when i was barely ten and she brought me down to the China Bank near Collyer Quay. Those days of eating dao suan at that old riverside hawker center. Those times of yearning to take the bumboat rides, but found them too expensive. I remembered that when i grew up, i'll take her one day. Now when she's old and her eyesight failing, i still can't bring her. Not that i'm financially unable, but she's physically unable. I want her to enjoy the sights that we missed ten years ago. I really hope that she can recover from her op, and i'll bring her there. And she'll be able to go back to china for the last time. And hopefully, to attend my wedding. I really pray so.

Shannon left at 10:58 a. m..

domingo, abril 25, 2004

[ 544. Granny ]

My grandmother's back. And i feel kinda sad. You see, she can't really see. She has this condition -- which i dunno -- and apparently it affects most elderlies. And it's like... the granny i used to see strong and able to carry me up the bishan hill in front of my block, fall down and still able to carry me and walk on, is now frail and weak... my heart really goes out to her. I really fear her to age. I don't want her to go. Not yet, and not any time soon i guess.

Shannon left at 10:28 p. m..

[ 543. Speechless ]

The world goes round and round and here i come, and there i go.

Shannon left at 7:16 p. m..

[ 542. NUS ]

And yess... i need advice on this. I've got an offer from NUS. They offered me either arts and social science or science. Which should i take? I have to answer my 4th may. Advices... please... advices.

Or should i wait for NTU's reply for the communication studies course?

Shannon left at 12:53 a. m..

[ 541. Specs ]

Shannon left at 12:38 a. m..

[ 540. Week ]

Whew. The week's over. It was a long boring week. Like i mentioned in response to my dear old bso, life's not really that great when everyone's busy, in fact, too busy to take care of us trainees. Let me recap this week in brief. Did light pt for the week. The most shiong stuff i guess was the 3km run by bso. Ouch. Oh. I got this fungi infection on my groin. And then the dear MO excused me from uniform for four days. And YES. I remembered. I went for dental at nee soon camp. The dentist almost killed me ok. And i really meant murdered. slaughtered. Whatever. I was screaming, and trying not to jump out of the chair while she dug between my teeth, and between my gums. It felt as if she was cutting my gums. The result of not seeing a dentist for seven years. Cheers.

Yes... oh yeah, i'm in the ndp parade marking. In fact all the trainees are. Guess what? I wasted my whole day today. Wasted. Wasted waiting. Ouch. Yesterday we went there to mark out the outline of the contingent, so there was actually not much left to do this morning before the rehearsal started. Guess what? All of us had to go to khatib camp this morning at 7am simply just to hammer the nails in. 50 people to hammer slightly more than 100 nails...? Not very resource-effective i guess. And guess what's our next task? Oh, wait till 5pm when rehearsal is over, and remove all the nails and tiles. "!!!!" Somebody kill me. Nothing beats the waiting game. It was suicide not to bring a book after all. Thank heavens for CS who managed to stun a copy of newspaper from the medic corner.

Yes.. received a very unpleasant call today. In fact, come to think of it i made the call. Something about my commitment. I've been thinking a lot, though not saying a lot. Not even on this blog. Being a six year Christian, or rather, spending six years in Hope really affected me quite a bit. Sometimes i wonder is it the pressure i give upon myself, the kind of expectation i put upon myself that makes me feel so hopeless, so cynical about my walk with God. I admit, it's not exactly at its best form. Surely i recgonise the signs. The lack of desire to fellowship, the lack of hunger for God. Maybe it's the consistency in trying and yet failing. I'm getting very tired of it. I really wonder, am i really one of those destined to be with God at the end of this race? I was positive; not i'm not sure. I'm not sure if He wants me at times. And i also wonder if i'm merely a number in this caregroup, in the minds of leaders, or am i just an audience to each week's caregroup so that others has an easier job accounting upwards? I really don't know. And i really want an answer. An answer from God. Not those kind of cliche answers that says something that i've known for a fact, or even something that i'd say to a newbie. Tell me something i don't know. And yes, show it to me instead of just saying it. No, don't do it to me, i'll just end up being suspicious. Just don't commit the same mistake to other sheeps left in the pen.

Shannon left at 12:11 a. m..

domingo, abril 18, 2004

[ 539. Platoon Outing ]

Went for the platoon outing on friday evening at marina south. Took tons of photo... as usual. Haah... so decided to introduce my platoon to you guys. =)

Shannon left at 8:16 p. m..

sábado, abril 17, 2004

[ 538. Frustrated ]

I've been accused by somebody for something unmentionable. Not to mention, i don't really have much of a strength to think after the hectic day of tuition and interview. The last thing i needed was to come home, switch on the computer and face an accusation. Bitch.

Today totally sucked. I didn't know what i was writing for the comm studies essay. I didn't know what the hell was i even applying the course for. So when the interviewer asked me why, i can't answer. Next, i had to rush back home to prepare my tuition, and then almost forgotten to bring down my ic and bus card. Next i was late for tuition, and i had to tutor four rowdy GIRLS in front of one of their parents for 4 straight hours. Not to mention, i don't get the respect i should, even in front of the parents. What the heck. I almost murdered one of the girls. And when i finally ran out of time to complete what i wanted to, i didn't know what to tell the parents too. And now when i get home and come online, this fag by the name of samuel tell me that i'm still damn touchy!!! What the hell?!?!?!?

And samuel i'm telling you: No i'm not. If you wanted to compare the past and present, you'd thank your god for what i am now. Trust m. You want to complain about touchiness when i don't even see you nowadays, when you don't even want to reveal the source of your complains, when there's not much of a link of friends between you and me, and when i think you're just a complete faggot who happens to be eccentric.

I've got enough.

Shannon left at 11:03 p. m..

viernes, abril 16, 2004

[ 537. First Week ]

Yeah, i just booked out barely an hour ago. Spent my first week as a trainee signaller in 3DA. Seems to be a nice place... haha. i mean, i'm on 2 consecutive long weekends already. Haha. Nonetheless, guess it's been pretty challenging. I mean, new place, new people, new rules. You know me... i can't really mix well with people, especially new ones. =p not to mention... there are 5 obese personnels. Ok, but i don't really count one of them as obese, cuz he's one f those who tipped the scale to barely made it in that category. Nonetheless, you know i have a problem with being fat. Now go figure how's my view towards these obese pals of mine. =) Oh yes, i met this other trainee who barely came in a week before me. and GUESS WHAT. He's also called eric. so never mind... not! His surname is also lim... gave me quite a bit of headache, but i decided to just forget it and be called by my cheena name.

Life's rather boring for a trainee i guess. A typical day always have a couple of hours of pt, and stoning for the rest of the day. If we're lucky, we'll get to mess around the signal sets or read those signal set manuals. Yeah, and with last parades at 6pm each day, we'll spend the night either watching american idol, xun qin ji or to play monopoly and risk all in one night. Ouch. Definitely not a very interesting way to spend time in camp, but definitely thousand times more luxurious than what we had in bmt.

Ok... there's this platoon outing tonight. I'm very tempted not to go, but i'll go anyway for the sake of turning up and trying to know the people in the platoon. Those seniors, and my peers. Haiz. Talking about seniors... they are generally a nice bunch of people. But the only third sergeant there... i tell you i've never seen a much more slacker guy than him. Shan't say any more about him. Simply wasting my time to type about it anyway. If only... he allows more communication between us and him. If only.

And yes... i finally got my silver for ippt! Cheers!!!!!!

Shannon left at 3:13 p. m..

domingo, abril 11, 2004

[ 536. Why ]

Nicole Nordeman - Why

We rode into town the other day,
Just me and my daddy
He said i'd finly reached that age
And I could ride,
Next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wild
We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stoped to find out why
And there was that man.
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said Daddy why are they screaming
Why are the faces of some of them beaming
Why is he dressed in that ragged old robe
I bet that crown hurts him more than he shows
Daddy please can't you do something
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said he was stronger
Than all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And daddy said i should go inside
Somehow he knew things would stormy
Boy was he right

But i could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
After he left i had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So i followd the crowds
To the hill where i knew men had been killed
And i heard a voice come from the cross

And it said
Father why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming
Why are they casting their lots for my coat
This crown of thorns hurts more than it shows
Father please cant you do something
I know you must hear my cry
I thought i could handle a cross of this size
Father remind me why
Why does everyone want me to die
Oh when will i understand why?!

My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon i will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts much more than you know
But this dark hour i must do nothing

Though i've heard your unbearable cry
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below see the child

Now I can tell you why

She is why you must die.

Shannon left at 6:43 p. m..

[ 535. Wind & Phone ]

This is my y-hope buddy. Haha.. shocked eh? Yeah, i still pretty much prefer that she wear a pinafore. She's from sngs last time, you see.

Anyway, yikes. My phone dropped into water. There goes my phone for the week. Don't call me. I'll call you.

Shannon left at 5:53 p. m..

[ 534. Face Off ]

If anyone has read today's New Paper, they would definitely not missed the article about China students lashing out on the local kids. Well, there was this China kid who happened to be a the same project team as one of our people. And apparently, he was feddup that that guy "wasn't contributing, causing a delay in our progress" and "was lazy and spent his time playing computers games." and God knows how it evolved to him asking Singaporeans to stop feeding on pigswill, stop being so complacent and think highly of themselves. And he's not alone in this, apparently other PRC scholars seems to agree.

I have personally my own grievences with Singaporeans. Maybe not during my project work time when everyone did their part, but there were many other cooperations that i was involved before. More often than not there will be one or two black sheeps who think they can jolly well blend into their background thinking no one would realized they've become a porcelain vase in the team. In any society of people, there will always be a spectrum of people. From the real outstanding to the downright descipable kinds, i'm declaring that it's normal if there's such diversity. Don't tell me that everyone in China is as outstanding as our dear PRC scholars. If that's so, what makes our PRC scholars so outstanding that they are given a scholarship / grant to come to our shores to lambast us?

The PRC scholars are really smart. Too smart for their own good at times. In the report, they magnified themselves as a result of contrast to our local lazybums. They turn around telling us that our TV programmes are boring and there are errors in the newspapers and magazines, and even lightning striking a tree got onto the headlines. What are they comparing our shows to? Their own shows? If that's the case, would they want us to produce gameshows where 3 schools send 2 schoolboys (who happen to wear socks to their knee level) each to solve math questions and walk away with a plastic plaque for the school? Or another of those half-hour scenic shows with monotonous voiceovers and guzheng playing in the background? I do not deny that the quality of local news has been on a steady decrease over the past few years, especially that of the chinese papers. This i guess would be attributed to the shift in the objectives of the newspaper itself in which i do not intend to speculate about. However, one important thing about newspaper is that the readers must understand whatever that's in the paper. And in that case, singaporean chinese print media has considered the language abilities of the locals and i dare say successfully catered to the needs of us. What i'm trying to say is, if the PRC scholars want quality chinese papers, you may consider asking your hometown papers if they do overseas delivery. As for our English print, there's no need to argue. I've seen other countries' papers before as well, and i say we are well above international standards.

These are the very people that our local government has went to sniff out their potential. That's why they were been offered the chance to study in Singapore. Perhaps back then, they pictured Singapore as a place where they could be offered education in English than back at home. And now, they come over, have some bad experience with our local teachers and ask us not to forget our roots. Yes, roots are roots. But our roots are right here in Singapore. If not for the venturing spirit of our grandfathers and beyond, they wouldn't have come here to earn a living. And we wouldn't be here today. And i think we ought to thank PRC for this also. If they didn't provided an employment for our forefathers, they wouldn't be in Singapore, and i may be speaking perfect Chinese with a slang today. Roots, you want to talk about roots, i'm telling you this: we are paying for your education, so don't forget your roots. Who's paying for your education? And i don't think our government is so altruistic. Chances are, you are expected to work here. So if you are thinking of leaving immediately after your graduation... fat hope.

I'm not saying the allegations made by our dear PRC scholar friends are not true. Even our own people has criticized ourselves before, and idiots like me start going all out to defend our actions like a spoilt brat. We as Singaporeans lack the drive, needs to mature and many more things that we have to do before we reach the next class of society. However, these are also true of our very own Chinese friends who had to say what they wanted to say about us. Talking about graciousness. How does it feel like if you invite someone to stay over at your house, and the person came over and start bitching to you about your house while he's in your house? Definitely not the smartest thing to do if you want to get out alive.

So please... "You are in my country, respect it PLEASE."

Shannon left at 10:27 a. m..

[ 533. Out ]

Just got home from an outing with the n3s1 guys... it's really fun to meet them... kinda missed them after bmt. Strange, it's only 2 weeks, but it feels so long. Maybe just got used to seeing them almost everyday. Nonetheless, feel kinda sad. Everyoe else seems to have someone with them in their unit. And i'm alone. Haiz. Never mind...

Oh yeah, i didn't mention this. I gave a full day worth of tuition today. At the airport. Yes. You know what it means to have your patience run out when you have 4 girls screaming for you to answer their questions at the same time. And to your angst, of them are probably asking stpid questions like why did you deduct a mark for not putting units. And i have another week of such tuition. God bless me. =)

Was doing a slight bit of blog surfing and friendster surfing. Think i've been pretty engrossed in fixing up my life recently that i rarely have the time to look at what's happening around my friends... well, think most of those who just entered bmt seems to be coping well. Those in their new units... think things are quite ok as well. Will take more time to know what's going on.

And yes... people are still not leaving enough comments... dun let the comments function go to waste ok..? =)

Shannon left at 2:19 a. m..

viernes, abril 09, 2004

[ 532. Inside Out ]

The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from outside in. The world would take people out of slums. Christ take the slums out of people, who take themselves out of the slums. The world would mould men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who changes their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behaviour, but Christ can change human behaviour.

--Ezra Taft Benson

Shannon left at 8:43 a. m..

jueves, abril 08, 2004

[ 531. 3DA ]

Surprise surprise... i'm posted to 3DA BN-DAB! Haha... for those that dunno... it's 3rd Div Air Defence Arti Battalion. Camp's at ADSD, where derek's camp is as well... I'm a signaller by vocation.. But currently... i'm still a trainee until i go back to Signals Institute to do my course.

So how's my first day over there? Admin the whole day. I mean, wiat and brief and wait and brief. Basically i parked within the lecture room together with the other nine trainees. The superior seems like nice people too. But i shall save them till the future before i further comment. So now...? Basically there's no more SOC and no more route marches!!! But IPPT is a must there... you don't pass, no nights off. Simple as that.

Sianz.... i really dunno what to say. I guess i'm a lot luckier than those posted to SIB or SAB. Cheers~

Shannon left at 9:53 p. m..

miércoles, abril 07, 2004

[ 530. Choir Orientation ]

Went back to help out with the recruitment drive today. As usual... history repeated itself: choir has been overshadowed by the loud CCAs. I mean, our CCA drive is done in a carnival-style. So as in a carnival, the louder, the better, the more customers you're gonna get. And the dance did their dance routine as usual. ELDS with their screams and shouts. Guitar club with their jamming sessions. And choir? Desperately pulling people to their booth, which by the way, without a board. Without a board?! Oh... our dear exco forget to 'choup' a board and in the end was left without one. Kelly Tan almost killed them. You should have seen how black her face was when she sat at the booth. This year's recruitment... not that bad after all. They got about 40 names. But as in the past, i doubt more than 20 will turn up for the auditions, and not more than 15 will stay. But nonetheless, i haven't got the heart to tell my dear juniors about it.

Going back to srjc was fun, especially when you miss the school so much The vibrancy shown today... gosh, i miss my juniors so much. Ok, though sometimes they get pretty idiotic, but after all you see how they came into the school and now they are helming the choir. See those wacky shots... truly juniors of mine. Haha.

Shannon left at 10:28 p. m..

[ 529. Day 2 ]

It's dawn of day 2 of... rotting. Well, i'm really irritatibly bored. What do you expect? The first wave of people who were enlisted are in their units by now and the second wave in bmt. Girls are working their guts out. Juniors are (pretending to be) studying their guts out when i still caught them roaming orchard road yesterday. Nonetheless, my ordeal will be ending soon. Just one more day.

So what did i do yesterday? As usual, i jumped out of the bed even before the clock strikes eight. Cursed be army life that changed our bio clock. Too lazy to get breakfast, i spent some time sorting out my brother's CD/VCD/PS games collection. So much for a collection. It was basically a rubbish dump full of cds and their covers. It's more like playing mix and match. Then i came across 'the iron ladies'. Iron Ladies!!!! Something that i wanted to watch when it was in the cinemas!!! Happily, i dump back the rest of the CDs and glued myself to the tv. I just can't believe that even trans can look so beautiful... albeit still with those deep voice, they nonetheless look more womanly than some ladies around. Deb called to ask to return te photos, so we decided to have lunch together as well at wheelock at three. So i was like, heck with going to get lunch first, let's just wait till three. So i went on to plan some torture for my tutees: a 2 hour math paper for them.

Lunch was edo sushi buffet... something that i wanted to do ages ago!! Well... picture this: a guy, yet to take his breakfast or lunch, at a buffet table... that's it. 24 plates of sushi amongst 2 of us. Enough to fill me up for three meals. Oh, i saw wansong and huixiu also. Was quite stunned. So even as huixiu called me, i just stoned. I mean, literally stoned. Don't even know how to react. Went around to look for deb's shoes after that. I mean.. when i saw the shoe i realized why she wanted it. She's LAZY. Those heels came with a zip... you simply wear it and zip up the side. No more straps or this or that. But the problem is, it seems to be low on supply everywhere... and you know deb, she refuse to take the display set. So it was a wild goose chase again. (By the way, she got them from charles and keith.)

Oh, then deb had to go for dinner, can you believe? Deb?! Working?! Working!!! =pPpP and she was describing how interesting her tutees are... until she felt like slapping him. Primary school kids nowadays... and primary school kids' parents are totally hopeless. So much for the future of singapore when these parents can't even set a good example to their own kids by being more respectable... for example, paying their tuition fees? And if at all, on time?!
that reminded me. I have 2 more papers to set for my kids. So i went back home and continue planning their torture... bwahaha... afterall, time is what i have. =) Cheers.

Shannon left at 9:24 a. m..

lunes, abril 05, 2004

[ 528. Sispec - not ]

Ok guys i've got an announcement to make: I'M OUT OF SISPEC!!!!

Yes! It's a dream come true! Hahahaha. But wait... before we celebrate, i have to let off steam first. Today is really screwed up. Yes. i woke up so darn early today to have breakfast with my dear friends who's going to sispec with me. And we happily then took a bus, a ferry then a tonner to sispec. That's when the horror starts. To my amazement, my name wasn't on their nominal roll. That goes the same for 20 others. So we were sent to sit outside the admin office for about 3 hours before they called 6 guys out. These are the unlucky ones who will get to stay in sispec. And for the remaining ones... CPC will sort our posting out while we went for lunch at the sispec canteen. Then again, the food there really sucks. So perhaps its a good thing to get out of that island. So after lunch, we were told of our new posting... signals institute for me. So ok, fine, 2pm fastcraft out to mainland, and we have to find our own way to the new camp. That started our ferry-bus-train-cab ride to the new camp. We exhausted the main public transport in singapore before reaching the camp in 2 hours. Ouch. Time wasted.

When we reach the new camp, the chief clerk almost fainted. Why? The people over at sispec nor CPC informed them that we were going over. And they already had an oversupply problem that morning when near 200 people turned up. From what i heard, they had only 90 places for the current course. Whatever. So, those not taken in for course was either told to take 2 days leave and wait for re-posting on thursday, or doing admin work until the new course in may. Whatever the case is, we were told to take 2 days leave so that CPC can sort our posting out AGAIN, and we'll come back on thursday to get our new posting. That was it man.

What i'm angry with is:

1) It was suspected that because of those regulars whose contracts were finalized only last minute (i.e. last saturday)that's why we became the 'sispec rejects'.
2) CPC can't even throw us to a decent place where we are needed.
3) i called a platoon mate who was posted to Provost, and he told me that he's reposted to sispec. I mean, i thought there were no more space?!
4) Why do we have to take 2 days leave out of our 14 days annual leave due to a fault not of our own?

Argh. I know i won't get answers. But who cares. I said my piece.

Shannon left at 8:34 p. m..

domingo, abril 04, 2004

[ 527. A Date ]

After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea. "I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise. "But I love YOU," I protested. "I know, but you also love her." The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded. " Just the two of us."
She thought about it for a moment then said "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. my mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu to her. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time for you to relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary - but catching up on recent events of each others lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you". I agreed. "How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and giving our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family and friends. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off 'til "some other time".

Someone once said "I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life." I think this is true with your in-laws, grandchildren, sisters, brothers and your friends. Anyone that means something to you-you should spend time with them and let them know how much they mean to you as often as you can.

Shannon left at 7:17 p. m..

[ 526. Camera ]

Lalala... finally bought a new camera... Canon ixus 430... ouch on my wallet... but it's ok... finally got my own camera... means more graphics to be made!

Spent some time packing for sispec tomorrow. One thing i really wondered was whether to bring my swimming trunks along. But never mind. Heck with it. I still have my bmt lock with me... but i lost then key. Darn, means waste 2 more bucks to buy a lock.

Hopefully sispec will be ok the first week. I don't mind if they progressively get tougher. What i fear is a culture shock.

I'm lazy to type. Bye.

Shannon left at 6:30 p. m..

[ 525. Divided ]

I'm really divided on my posting to sispec. Some say it's great when you finished your course, but i know this 5 months will be tough. After BMT, i really wonder if i can take the sispec training. If i'm able to hold on mentally, and can i cope physically. Haiz... i'm really lost. Lost in the possibilities. God, hold me through it ok..?

Shannon left at 10:01 a. m..

sábado, abril 03, 2004

[ 524. With Pride We Lead ]

Shannon left at 11:10 a. m..

viernes, abril 02, 2004

[ 523. Moods ]

It's been a long time since i had such a splendid array of moods within a day. This afternoon someone called me and we talked. The finally, that someone asked me out for late night movie or such, but i'm tired and i suggested supper. Someone was fine with it and i was really elated. It's been a long time with i went out with someone just to have a good get-together. Then after my tuition and excited went home to rest, i called someone to arrange the meeting place.
me: eh, where you now?
someone: oh... i with my friend in toa payoh now.
me: so later i meet you at ang mo kio ok?
someone: huh? later?
me: oh... i thought we meeting for supper?
someone: oh... ok... but i'm quite tired...
me: so you don't want to meet?
someone: ya.
me: oh, never mind then.
someone: maybe tomorrow lunch or something...?
me: i'm not free.
someone: oh ok...
me: never mind la... bye bye.
someone: bye.
my mood took a swing 180 degrees during that conversation. I wonder is it just me... just this week alone i have my shepherding arrangement changed thrice, all last minute. I feel bad. Bad about myself. Bad about the curt response i gave to my supposedly good friend. Bad about not making time for caregroup tomorrow. Bad about my posting. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Shannon left at 8:33 p. m..

[ 522. Posting ]

Sispec, here i come.

Shannon left at 11:01 a. m..

[ 521. Post Chalet ]

Whew. What a night. From didn't intend to go to go for a short while right up to stay overnight. Damn. I'm suh a softie... people ask me to stay then i stay. What the hell. Anyway, played quite a bit of mahjong, ate quite a bit of bbq food and A LOT of ice-cream. Help. My diet plans are not working out. And gosh, i woke up late today. Now i really don't know what to do. Later still got shepherding, got lunch appointment and got tuition. Die.

Shannon left at 9:26 a. m..

jueves, abril 01, 2004

[ 520. Enlistment - A different angle ]

Today my dear dear buddy is enlisting. No, not joseph, but another dear buddy. He's mervin. Yes, today i'm going into tekong as a friend, not an enlistee. This allow me to view tekong in a different view after passing out. My dear friend is going into leopard coy, means that joseph is in ninja. Haha, this proves that my theory is right: nothing is confirmed until it happens.

There was a slight tingle of nostalgia in me. About the place, my coyline, my platoon, my bed, the canteen, the marching, the fun, the medical center and the cookhouse. Yes, the cookhouse food. Those times of looking forward to honeydew days. The thrill of scanning my 11B. It's all over, now that i'm a private. Watching my friend taking the oath, viewing the video, and the little tour around the camp. I saw myself doing all these things that were depicted. The running of SOC, the field camps and so.

Well, i'm at harbourfront now. And i was waiting for this girl. She's picking me up for the chalet. And yes, she's here. I'm off.

Shannon left at 7:23 p. m..

[ 519. Ninja Gal ]

Shannon left at 8:36 a. m..

gone. will i be back? i don't know. maybe i've started elsewhere. maybe never. again.