my.escape

gone.

will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.

domingo, abril 25, 2004

[ 540. Week ]

Whew. The week's over. It was a long boring week. Like i mentioned in response to my dear old bso, life's not really that great when everyone's busy, in fact, too busy to take care of us trainees. Let me recap this week in brief. Did light pt for the week. The most shiong stuff i guess was the 3km run by bso. Ouch. Oh. I got this fungi infection on my groin. And then the dear MO excused me from uniform for four days. And YES. I remembered. I went for dental at nee soon camp. The dentist almost killed me ok. And i really meant murdered. slaughtered. Whatever. I was screaming, and trying not to jump out of the chair while she dug between my teeth, and between my gums. It felt as if she was cutting my gums. The result of not seeing a dentist for seven years. Cheers.

Yes... oh yeah, i'm in the ndp parade marking. In fact all the trainees are. Guess what? I wasted my whole day today. Wasted. Wasted waiting. Ouch. Yesterday we went there to mark out the outline of the contingent, so there was actually not much left to do this morning before the rehearsal started. Guess what? All of us had to go to khatib camp this morning at 7am simply just to hammer the nails in. 50 people to hammer slightly more than 100 nails...? Not very resource-effective i guess. And guess what's our next task? Oh, wait till 5pm when rehearsal is over, and remove all the nails and tiles. "!!!!" Somebody kill me. Nothing beats the waiting game. It was suicide not to bring a book after all. Thank heavens for CS who managed to stun a copy of newspaper from the medic corner.

Yes.. received a very unpleasant call today. In fact, come to think of it i made the call. Something about my commitment. I've been thinking a lot, though not saying a lot. Not even on this blog. Being a six year Christian, or rather, spending six years in Hope really affected me quite a bit. Sometimes i wonder is it the pressure i give upon myself, the kind of expectation i put upon myself that makes me feel so hopeless, so cynical about my walk with God. I admit, it's not exactly at its best form. Surely i recgonise the signs. The lack of desire to fellowship, the lack of hunger for God. Maybe it's the consistency in trying and yet failing. I'm getting very tired of it. I really wonder, am i really one of those destined to be with God at the end of this race? I was positive; not i'm not sure. I'm not sure if He wants me at times. And i also wonder if i'm merely a number in this caregroup, in the minds of leaders, or am i just an audience to each week's caregroup so that others has an easier job accounting upwards? I really don't know. And i really want an answer. An answer from God. Not those kind of cliche answers that says something that i've known for a fact, or even something that i'd say to a newbie. Tell me something i don't know. And yes, show it to me instead of just saying it. No, don't do it to me, i'll just end up being suspicious. Just don't commit the same mistake to other sheeps left in the pen.

Shannon left at 12:11 a. m..

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the guy

xuan shannon male single 030985.
ntu cs year1 / vocalconsort tenor2 / hopesg nyc ntub1.
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gone. will i be back? i don't know. maybe i've started elsewhere. maybe never. again.