my.escape

domingo, agosto 31, 2003

[ 273. choir ]

And yes... this is the new choir committee...

President - Joyce
Vice Prez - Joshua Tan
Secretary - Elaine
Asst Secretary - Evelyn
Treasurer - Desheng
Asst Treasurer - Lai Har
Logistics - Christina
Asst Log - Aaron
SC - Lihui
Asst SC - Josh Yong
Librarian - Yanming
Asst Librarian - Ernest

And here is the remaining list of members...
-none-

=p

I do have a big problem with the vice-prez though. Don't know why the heck he was elected.

Shannon left at 8:01 p. m..

[ 272. Someone ]

Today's service was really refreshing... was actually unable to focus during worship... but deep inside me, i just broke down before God.

Just wanna take this time to really thank someone... thanks for being there to meet me and spend time with me last night... just to hear me out, just to talk to me... though it got pretty crappy at points in time... but really thanks for the chance to hear what i gotta say... and also thanks for being such a great friend. Yepz.

Shannon left at 7:50 p. m..

sábado, agosto 30, 2003

[ 271. Typical Singaporean ]

This happened when i was on the train, filled to the brim. And yes, literally people were all sticking to one another.

"Excuse me! Excuse me!" I heard. This guy was trying to make his way to the door. To succeed, he must either be able to climb above everyone else or become super thin.

Then i heard another guy commented, "Aiyah, typical singaporean always can't wait."

Well, aren't you a typical singaporean as well?

Guess the typical singaporean has taken a whole new meaning - those who complain about ugly singaporeans.

Shannon left at 10:53 p. m..

[ 270. Jacqueline ]

Went to send off jacq at the airport today. Well, apparently i seems to be the only srjcian who was there to sent her off... and i gave her a test tube with a message inside. Decided against any coloured liquids due to the fact that i had to hold my test tube for the entire day that time.. haha, so i'll spare her of the agony of having to do so for the entire plane ride. And yes, she's leaving for canade for further studies. Haixx. She's one my favourite seniors though.

Went for shepherding just now... and gosh, he said that i looked troubled. That seems to be the common opinion recently... guess i'm bothered by some things, but don't know exactly what is it. Fear of uncertainty of the future i guess?

And as again, i recommend the soup central at scotts picnic food court. For $5.90, that's good soup and free flow of bread.

Shannon left at 7:37 p. m..

viernes, agosto 29, 2003

[ 269. Supper ]

Just got back from supper with an ex-classmate.

Beef hor fun at Geylang Lor 9 is simply great. Go try it yourself.

Shannon left at 11:43 p. m..

[ 268. Celebrations ]

Hallelujah!!!! God, once again... thanks for being such a nice one by answering my prayer! The 16th really did a WONDERFUL job today... and yes, also thanks for really sustaining gnv for our item today! It has to be you God... =) Well, everything went excellent today... no hiccups, no screw-ups. Just a great time of singing and presenting our song for the teachers... yes, though my voice ain't that fantastic, but i'm proud to say.... "Guys, we did a GREEEEEEEEAT JOB!!!!"

Went back to (the new) vs with quite a few srjcians... but the numbers has greatly decreased this year. Haix, so what if it's far... guys, we only go back once a year. And no, i don't really believe some of you when you say you're going straight home to mug. No. The food at (the new) vs is great... haha... had the mutton soup. Cheap and good! LoLx... perhaps it's the result of not having breakfast today and dinner yesterday... haha. Visited the same few teachers, mr hazrin, ms loh, mrs setho, keewee, wang jun... and our lovable maran. The new vs looks great... but lacks the cosiness we used to have in geylang bahru... well, the price you have to pay when you need more stuff in a smaller space. Perhaps give them a couple more years... and we soon grow to love siglap link like we loved geylang bahru... =p

Went home with eugene after that. Had a lil chat with him on the bus... he said he's stressed. Kinda obvious actually. If you're reading this eugene... all i wanna say is that, get to know yourself better, friend... don't just brush things aside by saying i don't know... and just give it your best shot whatever you wanna do. A victorian is ultimately a gentleman, sportsman and professional... you will make it. Cheers!

Shannon left at 2:37 p. m..

jueves, agosto 28, 2003

[ 267. Teachers' Day ]

Yes... tomorrow's the big day.
My first and last collaboration with alvyn... tomorrow, right there on srjc hall stage. It's been a long rehearsal day, but i'm not gonna go into details about how apathetic i am about the pathetic 16th sc.

I like the following version the best, though it's not the one we're singing tomorrow...

Title: Because of You
Lyrics & Music: Alvyn Eng

My best friend
You’re with us everyday
Doing it all for us
Getting back no nothing

Though we may not show
We just want you to know
All we have is you
Who else can we hold on to

Chorus 1
Leading us , guiding us
There were bad times too
We might not like
The things you’ve done
But work was never fun

Chorus 2
We love you, we thank you
All the things you do
We standing here
We’ve got so far
All because of you

So my friends,
now we push ahead
Hardships are great,
a long race awaits

There may be doubts,
Time when we wanna give up
But come and hear our cries
We’re just fighting for our future lives

And yes... i got back my project work results today... I've got the Band 2! Well, in fact out of the 26 in the whole school, 7 are from 02'1s02... yes, and all thanks to our written report. it's tops in sr. =p
Thanks suxin, agnes and maxwell! Really enjoyed the times working with you guys... thanks a million for the work put in... And i'll never forget the times spent together... haha.. (especially our mahjong session... lolx.)

Shannon left at 10:08 p. m..

miércoles, agosto 27, 2003

[ 266. Quote ]

Got this from zeke's journal.

"friends are like a marketplace sometimes, they go there only when they need to get something, and leave after their needs are satisfied, but it doesn't mean that they dislike or don't care abt the place, but rather they r caught up with their own life too n will return shud u need them."

Ponder about it...

Shannon left at 6:16 p. m..

[ 265. Midweek ]

Ok ok... this week's really a test week.

Had my chem prac test yesterday. Whole question on design is gone.
Moment of inertia test today. If i'm blessed i'd pass.
Transition metal test today. Hopefully can get my C.
Physics mock paper 2 tomorrow. What to do?
Argh. So much for being a year 2.

Just got back from another teachers' day rehearsal.
Hopefully we don't screw up on friday. Well, weiming stood in for the drummer today. It was... better.

Shannon left at 6:14 p. m..

martes, agosto 26, 2003

[ 264. School ]

Ripped off from an unknown source.

Everyday when you return from your school, whether or not it is from a secondary school, a junior collage, a polytechnic, or ITE, you would probably think that school sucks. All that work and torture under your lecturer's or teacher's homework or assignments, or tutorials...

But think about this, i mean really think. All the time spent with your classmates, all the laughter, sorrows, and happiness of knowing that your friends are there in your class.

Now imagine them gone, perhaps part of them or even all of them. You may not realise it, but when advancing into the next level of education, it is inevitable that some friends will be parting with you.

What is all this you ask yourself, what I ask is of you to think, for those who received this mail, what do those people who were once or were still your classmates and friends meant to you..................

Anyone who has at least finished their o levels and has graduated from respective schools would know the feeling of parting with your classmates and friends.

Not knowing when you still see them again.

Perhaps the next day, the next week, month, years, or even decade. Perhaps one day, you would realised how bitter sweet those memories were, the fun you had with your classmates and friends.

That is why ever so often when you asked someone which is the most fond memories they had in their years in education, they would often have that sadness in their eyes, but yet, they smile briefly.

It's the memories of their school friends. Those unforgettable years of laughter and happiness in school.
Each classmate had suffered under the same stresses in school. The teachers, whether they are kind or extremely strict.

So treasure your schooling days, don't complain, because you never know when you will miss them dearly.
And perhaps, shed a tear for those treasured times in your youth.

Shannon left at 10:46 p. m..

[ 263. Sian ]

This is bad. Alan told me that i sounded sian.
It must realli be getting to me... prelims in 20 days' time. Gosh. God, i need your help man. I have NOT started revision on physics and mr tee's topics. Argh....!!!! Looks like i'm gonna leave 20 marks worth of magnetism and electricity undone again.

Let me type my prelim timetable...

15sep[mon]-
gp p1: 0800-0930
gp p2: 1000-1130
math 9233 p1:1330-1630
16sep[tues]-
chem p4: 0800-1030
17sep[wed]-
math 9234 p1: 0800-1100
phy p3: 1300-1530
18sep[thurs]-
chem p3: 0800-1045
19sep[fri]-
math 9233 p2: 0800-1100
phy p1: 1430-1530
phy p2: 1545-1730
23sep[tues]-
phy p4: 0800-1000
24sep[wed]
math 9234: 0800-1100
chem p1: 1300-1400
chem p2: 1430-1600
26sep[fri]:
phy p5: 0800-0900

that's what i call a good timetable... so unlike mid year~ everything in a week. that was mad.

Shannon left at 9:58 p. m..

lunes, agosto 25, 2003

[ 262. Rehearsal ]

Ok, let me talk about some thing that happened in school day. Not exactly about curriculum... but it's for the teachers' day celebrations. Yes, yours truly is performing... with alvyn and gang. It's that piece that he performed last year, but decided to revamp it and re-present it this year. Last year the quality was good, so hopefully it will be as good this year, if not better.

Last week's performance was a disaster... no feedback monitors, thus, can't hear ourselves, thus, playing and singing crap. Today... relatively better, though there's more to improve on, but with the limited pracs we had... ok, we should do better. Let's go for it guys~

Oh yeah... for the record, derrick and roy's on the guitars, alvyn's on the bass, and ian's on the drums. You guys rock!

Shannon left at 10:59 p. m..

domingo, agosto 24, 2003

[ 261. Mervin's Birthday ]

Ok, i just realized... it's a SIN not to mentioned this since it's my buddy's birthday!!! Sorry pal~
Had dinner at fish and co at glass house with him and his jie-meis... people like ping, shan and jas. That poor thing, was chased away from the table so that we can write the card. And that poor soul, got a pink coloured badge... with the yellow words, "I'm gay, are you?" emblazed over it. Hahaha... then we went on a photo taking spree around the area.... goodness gracious me, we actually took 36 photos around dhoby ghaut, including no less than 10 within the simul-changi-airport-transit-area dhoby ghaut mrt station. Hahah... guessed all it matters is that he really enjoyed the day... anything for my buddy. =)

Shannon left at 11:00 p. m..

[ 260. District Meeting ]

It stir really lots of emotions in me today... alan shared something really hard to digest today. No, not his usual rounds of undecipherable vocabulary, but hard values that we often know but don't practise. I really felt very bad... very down... upset, demoralised after yesterday's 'showdown' with jason. Everyone could see it, i realize. But today's teaching really humbled me. Took me way back to the basics. I realize... from offering disagreeing opinions, the gang has became disagreeable. we have strayed from the right spirit. God, forgive us... we see our wrong. God, pray that it's really not too late to change... God... really, i'm too inadequate for this. We all need you.

Shannon left at 10:35 p. m..

[ 259. Passionate ]

I am truly passionate.

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

You're excited about life and in touch with yourself and nature. Tell me, do I have this straight?

Virtues: You appreciate humor like none other. Puns might even spark laughter in you (TEHY R FUNNI). You seek adventure and connection with your surroundings. You seek friends who will not only share laughs with you but actually form a deep bond of trust and empathy beneath the surface. You look for adventure and courage in people, and variation is necessary to keep you under control. You see yourself as multi-faceted, so you need people who can see you in your many lights. You're constantly trying to figure yourself out while analyzing the people around you. Silly, silly people.

Aspirations: You can't decide what you want to be yet, but you know you want it to be adventures and interesting, with constant changes. You don't know what love will do for you yet, but it's competing with adventure for a place in your heart. An internal conflict has begun: can you be a successful worker, lover, and parent all at once?

Quirks: Noise of any sort is irritating when you're in the mood. Smacking gum, loud chewing, humming- it's about as pleasing as bodily noises. You dislike emaciated people because of jealousy and just plain disgust. You're a procrastinator but a hard worker, too.

Factors: You need constant attention and support. You're high-maintnence, but a great, reliable friend. Nature needs you and you need nature; it's helped thus far, so keep in touch with the outside world.

Future: Who knows! You absolutely need constant change, so vacationing is surely in the cards. Will you settle down or not? Love will find you eventually, as it does to everyone. Will you choose the sweet home life or the rewarding busy-bee life?

Shannon left at 12:38 a. m..

[ 258. Bad Day ]

Today was really a bad day. Something in me just snapped.
Well, to summarise all the sources of ignition:
1) Bad confirmation of service attendance.
2) Sudden changes of plans to become a prayer meeting.
3) No time to study.
4) Lack of sleep.
5) Recurring illness.
Well... just venting my frustration on someone when jieyun suddenly passed me the phone and said the activation code, "Jason wants to talk to you." Well, well... the rest is history. He asked me if i disagreed with him on certain things... then i blew. I spent the next twenty minutes kp-ing everything about him and ministry... and yeah, i got the reply that i expected. You imagine the rest.

But... i really felt very down and bad after service... at a complete loss of what to do... how to react... and just felt like crying. I know i'm such a crybaby, but this time round it's really legitimate to cry. I was like, God, why did i do that? it's just telling him how bad spirited i am only. It's not going to help anything... and yes, i did felt so damn miserable. That i was just lost in my own world as i lked to baker's inn with joseph, weilong, derek, justin and suraj.

And yes, joseph... i wanna affirm you here. Really thank God for such a wonderful brother like you... i've seen how much you've grown recently, even though you used to be nonchalent about ministry in the past... i see the fire reviving in you... and let's continue to help each other to grow ok...? Thank God for sending such a dear brother into my life... thanks...

Shannon left at 12:17 a. m..

sábado, agosto 23, 2003

[ 257. Sheep ]

Thank you God, for you gave me a sheep to take care of. =)

1 Thessalonians 5:18.... Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Shannon left at 3:47 p. m..

[ 256. Letter ]

So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh?

Shannon left at 11:24 a. m..

viernes, agosto 22, 2003

[ 255. Council ]

Again, i went blog surfing again. This time round i landed upon a 14th councillor's blog... who was from VS! haha... didn't know about that ya know, but it's ok, that's not my focus for this entry.

This trend i realize about SR councillors... it seems to get worse with time. And another interesting fact... the number of guys seems to decrease along with time as well... haha... see the relation between the quality of the council and the number of guys? =p

Back at sixian's batch, they had about 10 male councillors and 10 female councillors... that's about 50%.
15th council, 15 guys out of 24... that's a lot! haha... (i.e. that's the peak of council i'd say. =x)
and for our junior batch... 4 guys!!! figure the rest urself... haha...

Thought of the day... Don't let ministry become your god...

Shannon left at 11:29 p. m..

[ 254. Sick ]

Feeling sick.. and yes, i'm running my usual bouts of runny nose. It's been say third week in a row since i got my runny nose each weekend? God knows why. Think i'm too stressed and depressed out. well, had my shm and waves test just now, and had the liberty to skip the corrections after that (approved by mr tan). Haha... Have this light-headed feeling now, and my com, or rather, my internet explorer had to give me problems this time. Argh. Too lazy and drowsy to think of what caused it... never mind. Gonna sleep now... and have to accompany mom to ikea later... Someone... i desperately need prayer.

Shannon left at 5:02 p. m..

[ 253. Moody ]

Marcus said i looked pretty moody recently... really? Perhaps.
Just feeling tired... tired of school, that is. Haha, the chemisty assignments never seems to end. In fact, they pile up more than never before. So that leaves me with no time for physics at all. I'm doing a fair bit of math just to get myself away from chemistry sometimes. Right now, I sort of took an early break from math lecture to come here and blog awhile... I'm just feeling kinda tired manz... physically, that is. Well.... looking forward to 2 weeks later... the sept holz... And as i'm typing this, marcus exclaimed... "looking forward to 2 weeks later?! crazy... oh, you mean the holidays." Yes, and actually i'd rather it's prelims now. It just means no more long days (only 1 paper a day), no teachers nagging, and mom's away at taiwan then. I need prayers... quick... gonna have a math test that i didn't even know existed later on... haha... have fun people... always look on the bright side of life... =p

Shannon left at 8:46 a. m..

jueves, agosto 21, 2003

[ 252. World ]

Something that i found when i went blog-surfing again... This was from perry's blog:

"...hmm... recently i have lotsa mood swings... no... i dont have pms....no...its not becoz of the approaching MARs....and no..i dont think its sch.... sigh.. i am just so sick and tired of life... i am only 18... and i sort of lost hope in life... recently i told my gp teacher,karen, that life seems so gloomy and its getting more and more depressing as u learn and know more about the world... it just makes u skeptical,cynical and pesimisstic....isnt it sad? that we live in such a world? its so ugly... after so many millenium and still human have not made the world a better place...i doubt it is possible in the future... when one generalise life...i wld be something like a journey to death... isnt it? since u can never take anything u have away when u leave....wad does dedicating ur life for others be any better? since u know...after all...they will leave the world someday and they can nv take anything away... oh btw i doubt u can even take ur memories with u. death is simple people...why dont u face it. u die. ur brain cease to work. u cant dream. u just go blank. its like losing consiousness i guess. the film rolls...and cut...-blank- and rolls on when u awake. thats abt everything there is to death. i guess i think this way since i am a non believer of any particular religion...initially when i was young i was a very faithful christian den i know something called the news paper. i read of all the sufferings and ask why. i even ask my mom why does god exist and why does babies die when god exist? she told me... pple die to reach nirvana and u know..like...erm... she said life on earth is to atone for our sins. i felt that it was rubbish and i told her i cannot accept that. since primary 5 i lost faith and i only see those why possess them as emotionally weak and mentally handicapped people. no offence though. they seek trust support and salvation in something that does not exist...yeah they may say "havin faith is believeing in something u cant see..." but well..they can eat cow dung la. if i score F9 for my chem forever and i tell the teacher to have faith that i am actually an A star student i doubt she wld say...FON the same rule applies. to me... the bible is more of like journey to the west and as for jesus... somehow even if his existance is proven i dont believe in him. as exhaggaration is common in historial text and he may just be another fanatic... i wonder if any of those thoughts ever probe ur mind pple... coz to me...human are deceptive creatures. even to themselves. they choose wad they wan to see and they often reject ans even if its right infront of them. sorry...i think alot sometimes...and ya it gets out of hand hah. no offense to pple with a religion. just voicing my thoughts.oh yar. i was taught in sunday sch that in everyone's life they are expose to the LORD 3 times.... wad do u make of premature death of babies? ancient ancestors from china/india? to a more unreasonable case....how abt the cavemens? again exhagarration from the hse of god. sigh... ok. another one. when they just say "if u dont help urself den god wont help u" if i can help myself why wld i need god? and to me... god does not exist and i think that people shld just spend more time meditating and believeing in themselves more build a clear mind one with wisdom instead of praying to nothing.... oh well... i think buddy is going to kill me for this entry. i dont think she wld even read until here. lol....woo DONT FLAME ME!!! *scary*..."

I guess he's what we call a agnostic/deistic person. It's a pity, that many, like him, began to fall again from God as they become more entrenched into the problems of the world. As they mature physically, socially and mentally to become more aware of the problems, they often run into the rut of doubting God thinking that the problems are beyond God's control, and hence, why need a God?

Sometimes i always run back into this problem as well... but one thing i remembered: God can always wipe us out and start the human race all over again... but He didn't. Because of the problem he gave Noah. God chose not to interfere with the human race because he believes in freedom of choice. If He didn't, he would have created robots, not humans. The problem of suffering... was for us, by us. The fruit eaten by adam and eve led to the downfall of man. But God still spared them, because of? Love. Not eros, but the parental kind of love. What kept us apart? Sin. God is something that we cannot contaminate. An analogy would be like, God is a bottle of distilled water. We are contaminants. By sending Jesus down to die, it acts are an disinfectant, something that remove all the toxic elements in us before we can join the ranks of the pure. Jesus took on all the toxins, all the sins, on himself, that we may be pure. That's how much God loves... God will only help those who help themselves. Well, this is rather controversial... but i do believe that as long as we take the first step of faith, God will take the remaining ones... but if we don't, even if God does take the remaining steps, we will still be away from Him because we never tried to move to him...

Mark 2:17.... On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Shannon left at 6:44 p. m..

[ 251. Facts of Life ]

This is another of those forwarded emails... juz found it, interesting, (hee) and i've posted them here for all to see... along with some comments... (and because i'm too lazy to forward them...)

1. At least 5 people in this world, love you so much they would die for you.
(xuan says: 2 of which are your parents/siblings)

2. At least 15 people in this world love you, in some way.
(notice the absence of the word 'unconditionally'?)

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you, is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
(Then why would i smile to certain people? I thought it irks them?)

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6.You mean the world to someone.

7. Without you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique, in your own way.
(Cloning has not been legalized yet.)

9. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
(Then how i know they love me?)

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
(Yeah, your face gets thicker.)

11. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
(Quite true... but sometimes i prefer it that way.)

12. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
(What happened to my O level results?)

13. Always remember compliments you received, forget about the rude remarks.
(What about politely rude remarks?)

14. Always tell someone how you feel, then they'll know.
(Thought my face always says it all...)

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they're great.
(Totally agree!!! All you people there... yeah, those reading this NOW... you're great!!!)

16. You must be a great friend, because someone gave this too you. If you care about them, send it back.
(Like what i said, i'm lazy to send this to anyone... read it here yourself. =p)

Shannon left at 4:16 p. m..

[ 250. Happy Birthday Dom! ]

Happy birthday, dominique!!!
Haha... i'm so sorry, didn't stay back long enough for you to make your wish... what's worse, i didn't even get you a present this year! I'm so sorry my dear friend.

It's the birthday season... haix. Monday was shunping's and kaicheong's birthday, today's dominique's birthday and much more next week. There goes my wallet. Haizz...

Dragged joyce to have lunch with me just now, and found that she has quite a fair bit of problems herself... but at least i still get to see her wacko side! Haha... you go, girl! Do me proud k... you can make it!~

Gotta go cram chem later on... i have a whole ton of homework to do. Argh.

Shannon left at 3:15 p. m..

miércoles, agosto 20, 2003

[ 249. Slam ]

Well... stumbled upon a pig's livejournal. Recapped an incident about the secretary's birthday. And to quote the pork supplier...

"...also met mabel saw that she was kinda "bored" in her eyes haha coz she was dua by me..... who ask "the person" (which is me) to organise the "outing" haha kk and that "fella" (which is me again) asked me to go buy cake come on ur the "Welfare" (me again.) erm but i won't dwell on that....... got a earful when i asked chu hui to help me with the cake haha ! u go girl! my idol!...

That last statement... apparently from what i remembered was that she didn't mention that he asked her to get the cake. And i was the one who got that earful instead. eyeful, rather, since it was via sms. Well, don't think i have to elaborate much on pig's opinion of me. Quite obvious i'd say. What is not that obvious is MY opinion of him. To quote thesaurus.com, the list of description goes like this:

egoistic, egoistical, egomaniacal, egotistic, egotistical, high-and-mighty, individualist, individualistic, megalomaniac, narcissistic, pompous, self-absorbed, self-centered, self-concerned, self-indulgent, self-interested, self-loving, self-serving, selfish, stuck-up, vainglorious, gay, homoerotic, homophile, inverted, lesbian, queer, ambidextrous, backhanded, deceitful, deceptive, devious, disingenuous, dissembling, dissimulating, double, double-dealing, duplicitous, evasive, faithless, fake, false, fishy, hollow, Hollywood, hypocritical, jivey, left-handed, lying, mendacious, perfidious, phony, pretended, pretentious, put on, shifty, slick, slippery, sly, snide, two-faced, unfaithful, untrue, untruthful, affected, contrived, feigned, forced, insincere, labored, mannered, meretricious, spurious, theatrical, unnatural, bastard, boor, bounder, clown, creep, cur, curl, dog, heel, knave, louse, lout, maggot, rake, rascal, rat, rogue, rotter, rounder, scoundrel, sleazeball, slimebucket, stinker, worm, chichi, chicken, cream puff, delicate, emasculate, epicene, faggy, fairy, feminate, flaming, foppish, fruity, gay, lily, limp wrist, mama's boy, milksop, nancy, overnice, pansified, pansy, pantywaist, pretty boy, puss, sappy, sissified, sissy, soft, swish, tender, twinkie, unmanly, unvirile, weak, womanish, womanlike, womanly.

I shall stop here. =)

Shannon left at 9:40 p. m..

[ 248. Affirmation ]

Today is the official 'reopening' of school for me after almost a week worth of breaks. Haha... remember i didn't go to school last thursday, friday and yesterday? Well... had a mechanics test today (which i wasn't informed and thus i didn't study for) and think at best i'll earn 8 outta 23. =/

Next highlight would be that 3 hour gp tutorial... 1 hr of katherine pah, and 2 hours of alvin pang. Yilch. And the alvin pang's one actually has a 'prestigious' name... called the achiever's gp program. Sound nice eh? It's for people who did (reasonably) well for their content subject and failed gp. Yeah, that's me.

Then went out to buy something with suping later on... won't talk much about that since someone reads my blog... haha...

And yes, the first ever, i'm gonna affirm someone on my blog... yes, bowen, that's you. Just wanna thank God for such a wonderful support like you... someone ever so zealous about God's kingdom and giving his best in whatever he does. I can really see it from the way you always help me with the calling ups and the meeting ups with alan you did with weilong. Even though some things you may not understand or may not even agree with, i really thank God for your humility to just follow and do what you had to do... keep up the fire bro... thank God for sending you into this group.. =)

Shannon left at 7:29 p. m..

martes, agosto 19, 2003

[ 247. Hendon Camp ]

Ahhh... yes. I'm feeling tired and dirty (and fat). Just got home, after a whole afternoon spent at hendon camp. From what i read about what's going on the NDU side, i conclude that people who went to hendon camp for the va had a much easier time.

I met barry at 10am beneath his house. That poor soul... had a tummyache, and a runny nose to make matters worse. We were then torn between taking the mrt or bus 81... well, my logic is that it seems pretty unnecessary to go downtown and back up to tampines... but in the end his logic proved him right. We got to tampines at 1115am. Throughout the entire journey, barry the poor soul (again) had the luxury to worry if he had turned off his tap before he left the house. Great. When we got there, thought we had some pretty much time to go for lunch first... and we ended up being half hour late. Cool.

Start off the whole thing with a 300 question psychomatric & stress mgt & character mcq test. That looked like a full length sat. Nothing much though, except that barry and me seems to be always the first to finish each quiz. The medical interview is just to find out about your medical history, and then the physical test. And yes, i don't need another crap test including push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups to tell me that i failed my napfa. Thanks man. The interview at the end was the most dumb. The officer asked me, "You interested to join commando or not?" I said no. He looked at the paper, looked at me, and looked at the paper, then mumbled "why?" I replied, "no interest." What a short and curt reply. And he said. "Go." he asked barry the same questions as well... but barry was like saying that the officer was commenting that "you not exactly that fit also... your health o-k la...". what an idiot.

Went to tampines mall for dinner after that... then shopped around for a wallet. I didn't buy any, but barry found one that he really liked. So he got that one... before we went home on bus 81 and happily dozing off...

Shannon left at 8:38 p. m..

lunes, agosto 18, 2003

[ 246. Fat ]

It's official. I'm fat. i went to weigh myself and i tipped the scale at 69.5kg!!!! Argh... ok, no more pigging out for me manz... Aiyoh~ feel so fat.

I'm so dead tired... just got home and changed out of my school uniform. After school, had this teacher's day auditions... really bad it turned out i think. The ava and council really screwed up big time, well, it's rare that alvyn actually put on a sour face. So that is sort of the saturation point. Yupz.

Left school and rushed down to clc2 only at 730pm... and gosh, i am so late... at 830pm! Nonetheless, learnt some stuff about caregroup planning as well, hopefully can apply them to the next care group.

Ok... i'm dead tired and i've got this commando thingy that i have to go for tomorrow... will be going down with barry, weixiong and company. I got shepherding before that even... somebody please pray for me... haha. nitez~

Shannon left at 11:31 p. m..

[ 245. Monday ]

It's monday blues... and well, expected a gruelling start... but pleasant surprise: mr low is not in school today, that means we get the first two periods of physics practical off! Well, not so, we realized. We were expected to do the practical anyway, but it was a welcomed change of teachers who were nannying us. Like mr tan, ms wee and even mr tay came snooping around. This much better than mr low who nags and nags and nags and nags.... Now having a little break... so decided to come and do a little blog since there's nothing to do anyway. Gotta go soon. ciaoz~

To share a thought... it's kinda upsetting sometimes when the people you want to chat with on irc always don't initiate the chat, and those that you don't want to chat with always come to you. Well, i sorta stop initiating chats nowadays. =/

Shannon left at 9:39 a. m..

domingo, agosto 17, 2003

[ 244. Riddles ]

Just reminded me. A couple of riddles to post. A collection of lame jokes i heard this entire week.

Q: What do you get by crossing a cat with a parrot?

Q: In a lake there is a rock with 5 frogs on it. One decided to jump into the water. How many are left on the rock?

Q: Are hamburgers called hamburgers because they (supposed to) contain ham?

Q: A man was being tied up and hung upside down on a tree. The rope used to tie his legs was tied to the bottom end of the trunk of the tree on the other end. At the bottom of the tree, there's a candle burning the rope, and a lion who is waiting to pounce on the man once the rope snaps and the man falls. How did the man save himself from being eaten up? (Conditions: there's no way he can untie himself, and he's too far from the candle to do anything to the candle himself.)

Post answers if you want to.

Shannon left at 6:12 p. m..

[ 243. Service ]

Whew~ finally back from service. I'm tired... but the thought of having tons of homework to do sorta keeps me up. Haha, nonetheless, i have a break on tuesday to do my stuff. Today is the start of word for life semester... will be attending basic christian doctrine 1. Today is the first session... and whew. And i got tekan by zewei 4 times today... haha... he's hilarious actually. Jokes aside, i can see that this course is really gonna give me a great boost of my head knowledge of Him... and prayerfully it will help me to give a clearer understanding of my faith as well. Yupz.

Today's attendance was actually not so good... nicholas and bowen went for saturday, and freedy is down sick. So left me and yongding... yupz. However, there's this friend of michael named matthias who came today as well... so was left talking to him. And he recommitted himself to God today~! Hallelujah! Well... something that came to my mind that Darlene said last night during the Hillsongs concert was that the Kingdom of God is forcefully advancing every single moment... I fully agree and hold on to it. Be it quantitatively or qualitatively, God's kingdom never retreats...

Ok... gotta run now... take care dudez...

Shannon left at 4:33 p. m..

[ 242. Long day ]

My first fully functioning day after a 2 day break.

Had a test in the morning, on math 9233 stats. 2 hours, 7 questions, can do almost all except for a couple of small parts on proportion. Hopefully i don't make any more careless omissions like what i did for mid years. Completed the questions in 1.5 hours... easily done. Haha.

Then went down for community service at ang mo kio; went to clean up a one-room house. The occupant was rather nice; he's an indian, but he's a christian! The first thing i went into his house and saw was a book entitled "I believe in the Holy Spirit" and i was like woah! Thank God he's a christian! His house was really spick and span... except for the smell in the kitchen. For the whole of the 3 hours we were there, we spent more than half the time and manpower in the small kitchen, cleaning the stove and trying to get rid of the rancid oil smell... we even blessed him with a floor mat and a table cloth! =)

After that rushed home and changed and got out for CG... yupz. CG today was great i'd say. As in... i'm really proud of my people... you guys are really a great bunch to me! =) So just wanna encourage you guys to spur on ok? And let's continue to really learn to love our brothers around us... not only in speech, in love and in prayer as well!

Went down for the hillsongs concert... was really ministered by the worship. Awed by the pure sound of angelic music... haven't indulge myself in such great worship music for a long time already. However... there were some unnecessary personal interruptions which i dun wanna talk about anymore... but one thing that struck me was the number of people who came to worship today... was really encouraged to see so many worshipping God at the same time... yupz...

Shannon left at 12:02 a. m..

viernes, agosto 15, 2003

[ 241. Patriotism ]

Ripped this blatantly off wanhin's blog. (well, his tag on my board provokes some sort of sudden interest in his blog... =p)

Victoria In Singapore,
There are other schools we know,
Victoria is something more,
The school that watch'd us grow.

For here we've learnt and striven too.
And played the sportsman's game;
Victoria, we give to you
The honour that you claim.

Victoria thy sons are we,
And we will not forget,
Victoria thy triumphs see,
And victories we share yet.

For others came before and went,
And carried to the world,
Victoria's fame and our intent
To keep her flag unfurled.

And here i add my own:

Lead us all to glory
A glory to be told
Every step we take
Challenges ahead
We turn them all to gold

Learning for tomorrow
We find our dreams today
Reaching out along the way
Lending a hand
Being a friend
Growing each day

We lead her to glory
Our best in all we do
SRJC all for you
Your calls is ours too

VS is definitely in my heart... but SRJC... ummmz. You decide for yourself.
Nothing against the teachers or the students, it's just the school.

Shannon left at 12:37 p. m..

[ 240. Tagboard ]

Didn't go to school today as well... head felt heavy, so decided to give myself another day of rest. And since my parents are fine with it... why not? =) Nonetheless... went down to study for a while just now. Wasn't very fruitful though. Did only a few questions and got back home. Argh, hopefully can get some physics done later on.

Agnes is having her grade 8 piano exam today... hopefully she'll do fine~ Go agnes! Haha... don't come back and see us if you don't get a pass with merit. =/

And yes people... ~~the tagboard is DOWN. So just~~ leave comments on my posts k...? thanx...

Shannon left at 11:06 a. m..

jueves, agosto 14, 2003

[ 239. Quiz ]

another one of those long long boring quizzes.. ripped off frm wind cheong..
It helps whe you're sick, bored and lifeless.

1. what is your full name
:: xuan
2. what colour pants are you wearing
:: black shorts
3. what are you listening to right now
:: the music of silence
4. what are the last 4 digits of your phone number
:: 2051
5. what was the last thing you ate
:: dequalinium lozenges
6. if you're a crayon, what colour would you be
:: red
7. how is the weather right now
:: dunno. it's nite.
8. last person you talked to on the phone
:: jason.
9. the first thing you notice about the opposite sex
:: they are girls.
10. do you like the person who sent you this
:: hmmm.. she didnt send me this. i ripped it off her..but nvm lah hor.heee.
11. how are you today
:: sick.
12. favourite drinks
:: green tea. pokka only.
13. favourite alcoholic drink
:: like..huh.
14. favourite sports
:: badminton
15. hair colour
:: blacckk..
16. eye colour
:: a little brownish.
17. do you wear contacts
:: no.
18. siblings and their ages
:: 2 bros. 16 12.
19. favourite month
:: september
20. favourite food
:: chocs
21. last movie you watched
:: homerun
22. favourite date of the year
:: 25 dec.. =)
24. are you too shy to ask someone out
:: you? maybe.
25. do you like scary movies or movies with happy endings better
:: happy
26. do you like summer or winter best
:: summer.
29. chocolate or vanilla
:: chocc hehe.
33. living arrangements
:: alone.
34. what books are you reading
:: bible, textbooks, archie.
35. favourite board game
:: risk.
36. what did you do the previous night
:: phone.
37. the first thing you think of when you wake up this morning
:: sharks. i'm late.
38. what type of flower do you like to receive
:: roses. red ones.
39. whats your fav choc
:: anything dark.

Shannon left at 8:47 p. m..

[ 238. Sick ]

was talking to a sister on the phone who was sick as well after lunch. Haha, thought she was in school. Amazingly God sent another person to 'accompany' me. =p Then wanted to take an hour nap before going out to study, but i... ermz... overslept. slept until four before i went down to mac to study with a groggy head and a very dry throat. Tried to do some studying at mac, but very hard to concentrate because of my head. End up doing copying of notes only. Then went back home at evening, having no appetite for dinner. Took my temperature, registered at 37.2 degrees. Is it considered a fever? Hopefully i don't have to go to school tomorrow as well. I'm totally worn. Argh, what can i do now? feel so helpless.

Shannon left at 8:02 p. m..

[ 237. Early Leave ]

Took early leave today. Haha, it's a blessing that i can't find mr low, or else i won't get it so easily. Ms lian signed me out. Went to see the doc with a sore throat, runny nose, and headache. So you can guess what she prescribed: chlorpheniramine tablets, paracetamol tablets, and dequalinium lozenges. So standard... i think those are the three 'bestsellers' at the pharmacy.If anyone had worse cases, they won't have gone to a polyclinic. LoL. Moreover, the wait at the polyclinic is horrendous. As usual. I had a blocked nose when i went into the polyclinic. By the time i get to see the doctor, my nose started dripping. That's how bad it is.

Bought lunch and went home after seeing the doctor. Sharks, still have tons of work to do and cg planning to do later... really pray that God will remove that headache so that i can think straight. Argh. Sleeping... sleeping... sleep... now.

Shannon left at 12:25 p. m..

miércoles, agosto 13, 2003

[ 236. Unpretty ]

Song: Unpretty
Artist: TLC

I wish i could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today (yeah)

My outside looks cool
My inside are blue
Every time I think i'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But its all the same
At the end of the day
I have my self to blame
I'm just trippin

Chorus:
You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if it says so
You can buy all the make-up
That a man can make
But if you can look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in a position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty to

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then i'll get back to me (hey)

My outside looks cool
My inside are blue
Everytime I think I'm throgh
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
Could be i'm trippin

Shannon left at 8:43 p. m..

[ 235. Wrong Place ]

Darn. I came home from school to realize that i have to go sengkang to return joseph his biochem notes. Argh. Me and my forgetfulness. Today was the usual short wednesday, and surprisingly mrs pah was on the dot to let us go at 115pm. Usually we don't get to go til 130 at least. Haha, should discourage her from taking breakfast on wednesdays morning in future then.

Got back my chinese results. Last year's sitting i got.... B4 with merit in oral. This time round? C5. Distinction in oral some more. What luck. Guess i must have done really bad for my essay then.

Had lunch with the choir people... such a long time since we last had a meal together. Not much catching up though, just enjoying ourselves as if we never parted. That's really cool ya know. Kinda glad in a way that we still remember one another. Well, cuz some others i've seen just conveniently give you the 'out of sight, out of mind' treatment. Yupz...

Have tons of revision to catch up on, and also the homework. Argh... hate it lots man. Still haven't done my chem s paper assignments as well. Wonder when will i find time to do it anyway. =/

Ok, i'll keep it till here...

Shannon left at 3:01 p. m..

martes, agosto 12, 2003

[ 234. RPC Shutdown virus ]

If your computer is shutting down every 60 seconds(and you're still in time to read my blog), you're infected with the msblast.exe worm. Hit ctrl+alt+del and try to close the msblast.exe process. Following that, successful or not, go to http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/FixBlast.exe and download the fix for it. Once that is done, follow the instructions and download the windows update for your computer accordingly.

This is interesting... and a couple of weeks ago i was still complaining that my hard disk had to screw me up at that time. Well, then i ripped this hard disk out of my old com and put in here to use, together with its win98. Well, perhaps old stuff works better, cuz no one bothers to disturbs it.

Shannon left at 11:07 p. m..

[ 233. Interesting ]

Shannon left at 10:50 a. m..

[ 232. CLC2 ]

Yupz, just got home from another long CLC2 lesson. Just wanna share some of the things learnt there.

I realized, as i matured in Christ over the past years i've been in hope, i've learnt many things, and forget even more. Today i'm really refreshed and reminded by God of many things that i've learnt yet forgotten as a Christian, things that i shoved aside because i was too caught up with the doing. Throughout these couple of weeks, i've consistently been reminded by God that what i'm doing is not for myself; it's for God. Am i building my own kingdom, or God's kingdom? Like today, the teacher shared something about shepherding. When she was an inexperienced shepherd, she didn't lead her sheep to God, instead, she allow the sheep to be dependent on her. Eventually, when the sheep runs into problem, the sheep was unable to seek God herself because to the sheep, the shepherd was her god. Through this i learnt that we should make ourself dispensible in the care group. We do not know what the future lies for us, but God's kingdom must go on. Don't make anyone rely on us; lead them to God. Be it your sheep, your buddies, your friends, they should be connected to God. Ultimately, they came to be saved because of the relationship with God, not saved by the relationship with us. Really... today's session was indeed refreshing. Really just reaffirm God's cal lto me to focus on Him than the motions. Yupz.

here i am to worship
here i am to bow down
here i am to say that you're my God
you're altogther lovely
altogether worthy
altogether wonderful to me

i'll never know how much it cost
to see my sin upon the cross

Shannon left at 12:17 a. m..

lunes, agosto 11, 2003

[ 231. Comments ]

And peepz... try to leave some comments k... it's kinda saddening to keep seeing "the night is standing still..." haIz.

Shannon left at 5:11 p. m..

[ 230. School ]

It's a new week. Term 3 Week 7 to be exact. Well,there's a swop in timetable today. Today we're running on friday's timetable. Makes it felt like a tomorrow-no-school day. Well, not so, i guess. argh. So that means... i'll have pe today AND tomorrow. Argh. That means i'll have compre test this friday AND essay test next monday. Argh. The list can go on, but it's ok... let's enjoy this early day off while i can. Why fret? =) Haha. feelin bored now... bored and hot and tired. Just came back from pe. Been jumping around the gallery for the entire session. Literally. And also chats of meeting each other at toa payoh stadium. Haha. Then at the end of pe lesson we decided to meet at tekong this december instead. =/ Nonetheless... It's pretty fun actually. I mean, pe, when you get to ~~sweat~~ perspire it out with your friends and crap with them at the same time.

Actually i have tons of prayer to make. Many things i wanna ask God for. My studies, my sheeps, my walk with Him, my so-on-and-so-forth-and-so-on... I'm greedy isn't it? But... sometimes... somehow i just feel... well, will He care? Will He bother listening to a tiny puny... me? Then again, something will then gently remind me... that by sending the Best of Man to experience the worst of death, He showed how much He cares. Like what gerald used to tell me, it's like picking up an old dirty one-cent coin from the toilet bowl and polishing us till we shine, that's how much He treasures us....
God... thank you... really...

Ok, having clc2 later... whew. It's tiring to go on a monday night... hopefully i won't have a hangover tomorrow. Seeya around...

God opposes the proud, but give grace to the humble... 2 Peter 5:5

God..humble me...

Shannon left at 5:01 p. m..

domingo, agosto 10, 2003

[ 229. Service ]

Haha... it's been a long time since you last saw this title eh?
Today was special service... called Finding Marlin... for the uninformed... marlin is nemo's dad. Well, the clip that our multimedia team put together is really cute... haha. Nonetheless just wanna share a few thoughts for the district meeting on friday and for service today...

Acts 26:19 "... I was not disobedient to the vision from heaven."

On friday, alan shared from the passage on acts 26, where paul had an opportunity to defend for himself before king agrippa. I'm really impressed by paul's change by the Lord... and indeed, as i think through the entire sharing by alan, i began to think, if i were in paul's shoes, i would have condemned myself so much so that i don't think i'll allow myself to be used by God. Even if God wants to, i would be saying things like "no lah, you sure you want to use me? Are you kidding? Or you're just out to make fun of me?" I mean... Having the introvert streak in me, i tend to dwell on my past mistakes and experiences, then decide that God can't use someone like me. Over time, i began to realize, what's holding God's mercy and grace upon me is myself, my own barrier which i gotta overcome first. God has never condemned me; i used to put myself in my own jail. Now where i finally began to fly, things are constantly added onto my wings. Then sometimes i'll just get distracted by the things on my wings and lose focus on the vision. Guess i gotta learn how to look forward and soar high, and trust that God, being the wings beneath my wings, will bear the weight of all my burdens and allow me to move on.

Today's sermon was a familiar one: the parable of the lost son. However, it tied clearly to the sharing on friday about not losing our main purpose in christianity: our relationship with God. Guess i've been neglecting that, and not been doing as much about it as i think i should. Today was definitely a refreshing sermon, though nonetheless familiar.

The attendance for today.... myself, bowen, freedy, nicholas, yongding all came... and we had 2 visitors, alan and jinhong. Definitely a good time of fellowship and sharing, though none came to know to Lord today, but it was a great leap in their understanding of Christianity. Got to know alan today... and can really feel that sense of closeness and friendliness with him. Yupz, really glad that God has helped us build this relationship with him thus far, cause when we first started out it really didn't seem hopeful. Thank God, really.

Shannon left at 6:03 p. m..

[ 228. National Day ]

Just cut my hair this morning. I look disastrous. Again. Argh.
Forget to say this yesterday, so i'll say it today:

Happy birthday ~~Singapore~~ Deborah!

Shannon left at 9:56 a. m..

sábado, agosto 09, 2003

[ 227. Quizzes ]

You are an ACOUSTIC GUITAR; soulful, sincere and
genuine, you're traditional and pride your
friends and family over most things. You love
to be in touch with your feelings and aren't
going to deny instinct. Overall, you're just a
nice person.

What INSTRUMENT are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Are you Addicted to the Internet?

36%

Newbie (21% - 40%)
You've started to learn that there is more to the internet than AOL. You've recovered from that email virus that wiped your hard drive and are thinking of getting DSL. You still tend to forward too many jokes and inspirational thoughts via email to your entire address book.

The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!

You are Fantasy. You have an active and firey
imagination, and you love escaping into
strange, beautiful worlds. You're intensely
curious and dive in to new experiences with
vigour. As a result, you may sometimes be
dissconected to reality, or at least bored by
it. People see you as a dreamer, and they're
probably right. You spend a lot of time inside
your head.

Art Thou? -Your Art Style Personality
brought to you by Quizilla

You love partying, shopping, having fun, being with
friends, talking and being the center of
attention. You are, most likely, a popular.
You're a superficial fake bitch who follows
whatever the current fad is despite your own
personal, independent opinions. You are a
mindless clone, a ditsy Barbie, a ho ho who I
hope will end up a prostitute on the streets.
You're ungrateful for all that everyone gives
you and are disrespectful and inconsiderate to
teachers and elders because you know that it
will get your peers laughing and to love you
even more than they already do. You have new
boyfriends constantly, and you love making out.
You love lipgloss and jewelry and you are the
reason people like me choose not to have
friends. Now, as a personal request, I would
like you to find Niagra Falls and fall face
down from the very top into the jagged rocks
below.

Mind Interpretation: What Kind of Person Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Shannon left at 10:35 p. m..

[ 226. Marcus ]

I watched home run today. I'd say that it's really nice. Very different from the usual kind of jack neo productions. Heartwarming, i'd say, talking about a brother who lost his sister's school shoes, and tried ways to get back or to get a new pair of shoes. That's the main gist of it. Really teaches the singaporeans now to appreciate what we have now. There's also some hidden political agenda within the movie. watch it yourself man.

Went out with marcus today. Met him at orchard about three, then went to great world city to collect gold class movie tix for his gal. Surprising thing is, she's not watching it with him. She said it was with her best friend, angelina. Then we shopped around till she came to take the tix from him. Actually i wanted to go with him to meet her, but decided otherwise. Then marcus just called me and asked me to keep a lookout outside the cinema to see who is she meeting. He suspect that she's meeting another guy. Finally she appeared. And really, it's another guy. Can't recognise him though, perhaps that's good. If not things will turn very ugly i guess. Then i went down to meet marcus, and that news totally spoilt his day.

Went down to Raffles One pacific coffee house for coffee. He looked damn... pissed, frustrated, irritated and whatever. To quote his smses to her:
"I may be rich, but i'm not that great to pay fifty bucks for a pair of movie tickets for my girlfriend to watch a movie with another guy..."
"I find it hard to trust you if you keep hiding the truth from me...."
"You tell me which couple don't hold hands in the public..."
"Sometimes, you gotta ask yourself if you are in the wrong..."
"I may give in to you all the time, but that doesn't mean you are right all the time..."
"I never expect much from you... All i ask is that you love me...and don't keep the relationship so secretive..."

Then we went down to novena church cuz he wanted to pray... i'm glad that he felt a lot better after that. At least he wasn't feeling firery after going that. Talking about what God can do to a person. Went down to Ya Kun for toasted bread and coffee and more chat after that... before leaving for home at nine. Gosh, never knew that guys can be so chatty as well. haha.

Ok... gotta confirm attendance for tomorrow's finding marlin... seeya~

Shannon left at 10:21 p. m..

viernes, agosto 08, 2003

[ 225. National Day ]

Strange. When i was packing my bag last night, it didn't felt as if there's no lessons today. Haha, to in tuned to the A levels mode already. (As if.) =/ Nonetheless, today was the National Day celebrations, a.k.a 16th SRJC SC first attempt at school functions. Apparently, they are.... bad. Really bad. Last year i was involved in the celebrations (don't ask me what i did), and apparently i think alvyn really did a good job. Of course i guess the dreaded consequences of not doing one steered them towards having a job well done. Back to this year, i'd say the content has improved tremondously. Sadly, the poor organisation and the SC's inability to cope with unforeseen circumstances (i.e. inexperienced) cancelled that out. All in all, we all enjoyed the show, but not without having done some math during the celebrations to pass our time as well.

After school is out, suxin, deborah, evonne, cindy, maxwell and i went down to sushi tei at paragon for lunch. food's pretty good i'd say, tried a lot of things from ramen to yakitori to raw salmon and whatnots. Well, except that we went too early, thus not much of a variety available for us. And their ice-cream rocks... haha, i know it's weird for me to mention it since we went for sushi, but it's really nice. A bit pricey though, not really full but paid 20 bucks per pax. I would very much prefer it if we have went for a buffet. What happened after that... shan't mentioned it since someone read my blog regularly. Oh yes, i haven't mention this. I bought a big paper bag with a cage of 2 hamsters in it, for deb as a birthday present. After we paid and was coming out, i conveniently took the paper bag and the menu which happened to be on the paper back. Then we walk out, and i was asking cindy what to do with the present, and i saw the menu. Then I just walked into the restaurant and return the menu to the bewildered cashier. Boy, she stared at me. Hahahah... and yes, we gave the hamsters to deborah. haha.

Alvyn asked me if i wanted to perform for teacher's day. He wants to get lip hang as a keyboardist as well... haven't asked him though. I myself is not sure. Alvyn works pretty fast though, he already got the rest of the people up and is waiting for my and liphang's answer. =/ boy, he's really fast.

Shannon left at 3:56 p. m..

jueves, agosto 07, 2003

[ 224. Probability ]

A question i got from sabe's web. Really boggles the mind.

Question:

In a gameshow, there are three doors, and behind one of the doors exists a prize. A contestant has to select a door, and indicate his decision without opening it. The gamemaster will then open one of the other two doors that does not contain the prize. If both doors do not contain prizes, the gamemaster will just open one of them at random. The contestant is then given the opportunity to change his door choice - should he? or rather... would it matter?

Think about this. This is really tricky... i'll answer in a day or two. Can leave a guess at the comment. =)

Shannon left at 8:14 p. m..

[ 223. Physics ]

First time i ever felt som triumphant stepping out of a physics test. Haha, that mcq was really... duck feet. Nothing much happened today. Have a date with deb and company to go for sushi lunch tomorrow... *drools* long time never eat sushi liaoz.

Deep in my heart, i just know
Right from the start, we will grow
Look where we are, we've come so far
And there's still a long long way to go
With all of my heart, i will care
I'll play my part, i will share
With family and friends, together we'll stand
And in the end, hand in hand
We will get there.

Shannon left at 8:04 p. m..

miércoles, agosto 06, 2003

[ 222. Career Fair ]

Today was SRJC career and tertiary education fair. Well, had about twenty over booths from varsities and career options such as NTU, NUS for further studies, SAF, SCDF, SPF, SPH, MOE etc for career options. Well... had been interested to teach for a rather long time, but looking at how the teachers themselves look upon teaching, i'm thinking twice. Perhaps i may go for s'pore prisons service? Or go into the private sector... namely, media. Well, i seriously don't know. Don't know what God really wants me to do. Guess my current target will still be towards teaching. Felt rather lost when i went around the exhibition today... looking at the tertiary education and career options, i suddenly don't know where i really want to go. Or rather, i think i'm more unsure of what i can go at all. Guess these are some of my options... arts and social science in NUS, science in NUS, or communications in NTU.... but i'm really not sure if my grades are gonna bring me there. My kind of grades in srjc is not exactly a good sign. Argh. Let me pray about it.

Shannon left at 4:41 p. m..

martes, agosto 05, 2003

[ 221. Sin ]

Gosh, i think i've sinned too much today.
Let me recap:

2 Rice cakes
1 Ice milk tea
1 Mushroom Swiss Burger
1 Large Fries
1 Large Barley
1 Bowl of Porridge with lotsa mincemeat and veggie and fishcakes
1 Kit Kat Chunky!!! (The last time i ate it was... 2 months ago? And yes marcus, you're responsible for this)
1 Hot milo

A lot for a day right? yucks.

Shannon left at 9:47 p. m..

[ 220. God ]

Just now as i was coming home from bishan, i saw xinying and jitsy... they just finished talking to a friend of theirs and was excitedly asking me to keep their friend in prayer... Really glad to see such faith and excitement for the kingdom of God. =)

On the bus, i was thinking and asking God... how come i'm involved in such pt politics? Why can't i just be as excited as the east people, as the younger christians? God impressed this upon me, i need to bring my people together to pray. To seek Him together. I realized the past few months all we have been doing is to do and talk and do and talk. Rarely we pray and seek God together.

I'm really looking forward to that.

Shannon left at 9:30 p. m..

[ 219. Essay ]

One of the uncommon tuesdays that i get to go home after PE. Well, next week on i don't think i'll have such luxury anymore. All thanks to chemistry.

PE was, again, slack today. Tried to do a couple of pull-ups (but failed miserably), and then took turns with hwa perng to run with zongyou. Gosh, that zongyou really gets pretty idiotic some times. He was more like doing brisk walking right from the start and God knows where he found the strength to keep on complaining while i literally push him to run. Then on the last set of 2 rounds, mr teng announced whoever clears this set under 4 minutes will get to rest, right from the start he sprinted off. I almost got killed while trying to catch up. I did anyway. He can run lor, just that he don't want to. Idiot.

They gave us the srjc annual chinese essay compilation. Suxin, siyuan and my essays were inside. Haha, if i have the time i'll type it here someday ok? =) Was teased by some friends during pe about the content anyway... you'll see.

Tried to arrange a meal with chee kian today... apparently could see that he's not really keen. But somehow (as usual) i found myself going to him and make it sound like "i would be very sad if you dun wanna lunch with me" before he budged. (Someone quick tell me that i'm damn thick-skinned.) No choice, have to start it off somewhere. Well... it kinda irks me when someone asked me if i could confirm the lunch. I mean, this kind of risky meet ups it's pretty hard to confirm. And why must you come down anyway?! As usual don't trust me right... must be larz. Can't stand it man. >_<

Shannon left at 6:12 p. m..

lunes, agosto 04, 2003

[ 218. Monday ]

Whew. MAD rush. I think i'm going to hate mondays because of mad rush.
Anyway, for the unknowing ones, i'll be attending CLC2 for every monday in aug and sept.
So it's like, i end school at 5, get home at 545, and meet weilong for dinner at 645. That leaves me about 15 min to unpack my bag, take a bath and run off hoping that the buses will come on time and praying that i don't have to wait too long for the train and perhaps i can be on time. That was what happened today. To make matters worse, mrs pah released us late because a bugger simply didn't answer the compre question according to her structure.

Enough of monday complaints. I'm gonna have an eventful week ahead man, as i look at my schedule. Gotta meet chee kian to see how's he doing, and shepherd freedy on wednesday, sow on ben on thursday, and district meeting on friday. Saturday may have shepherding too. Woah, and you'd think i'm not in year 2. I really thank God (and i'm amazingly surprised) how come mother didn't make a single noise. Perhaps she didn't even notice that i'm out of the house so often.

And did i mention how much i hate environmental chem? It's soooooo geography-ish. I've borrowed eng how's food chem notes and i'm gonna study it myself. Just opening up an option, not saying that i won't study for env chem, cuz it's the only option that's coming out for prelims. Haix.

Ok, i'm tired, and i've not packed my bag, so off i go.

Shannon left at 11:17 p. m..

domingo, agosto 03, 2003

[ 217. Service ]

Today's service. Yupz. Had a visitor. Yupz. Name's Chee Kian. Yupz. I'm troubled. Yupz.

Shannon left at 4:57 p. m..

sábado, agosto 02, 2003

[ 216. Prayer Meet ]

Ok, in short, i was really picked up by the prayer meeting.
However, i'm not going to talk about the prayer meeting... but something that i learnt from michael.
I'd say that i've learnt a great deal from him, about his approach towards everything in ministry... his zeal, his know-hows, his bible knowledge and so on. One thing that i capture from him is that he's really dynamic, and he does it with much enthusiasm... something that we lose as time goes by. If it really maintains a linear relationship, i dare say that God has made his fire stays there all the time. And the way he makes his people be so word-centred... it's powerful. Really.

Shannon left at 10:19 p. m..

[ 215. Land ]

Well, just got back from tuition before dropping off for sub-district prayer meet later on.
Just felt like penning some thoughts that came across me during tuition just now...
Towards the end of the session, my tutor suddenly talked about Singapore's growth, economy and as such. He was sort of commenting that Singapore won't be able to survive through the far future. Not in military or defence terms, but on the economy end. Well, he said, look at us. back in 1970's we were like Malaysia, but now on the surface we seems to be far ahead all our neighbouring countries. Well, why is this so? This was what he thinks. Shortly after independence, he guess that our dear governors were green-eyed about the spending power of Singaporeans. And as such, in order to take in as much circulating money into the state's vaults, they gradually raised the price of land to private developers. This results in a inflated price of private property, so quantity demanded for private property dropped. And hence it increase the demand for HDB flats, which were then much cheaper than what it is now. As far as i know, 3-room flats back into 1970s go for as cheap as just a couple of thousands. so in order to balance the market between private and public housing, the resale prices were increased too. Because spending power was greatly reduced, as a complaining lot, we people demanded for higher income. This viscious cycle continues... and here we are today.

So now with better income, better standards of living, better accomodations, better transport (ok that's a touchy issue) and everything better, is life better for us? Perhaps not. Our labour cost, material cost, rental cost, services cost are much much higher than our darling neighbours. And in today's society, people talk about value for money. For such high cost, we are forced to work with high producitivity. And then it comes the high stress level. Our darling neighbours' citizens are earning lower wages, but it gives them higher spending power than us. And the more important thing is, they are not obliged to work at the kind of productivity level like us, and to put things in JC students' context, they do not have that much stress. And perhaps, no suicides.

Well... that may be one of the answers to why are we so stressed. Let's hope more comes in. =)

Shannon left at 1:19 p. m..

viernes, agosto 01, 2003

[ 214. Suicide ]

JC2. Mid years. Stress. Results. Disappointing. Scoldings. Stress. Prelims. Revision. Don't know. Stress. 4 'A's. Stress. Fail gp. Stress. Stress. Stress.s..s...s.......

Stress. 2 suicides. one month. 2 JCs. 2 girls. 2 deaths.

"To think i was just talking to my motherlast night about not wanting to live any more sometimes, especially after entering JC. The meaning to life has sneaked away, the goal in life has slipped off, your whole life is filled but empty at the same time - and you don't want to wake up anymore." - The New Paper, 30th July 2003.

These words are indeed true reflections of many jc students today, i dare say. All the tutors have been saying, "no more holidays, now gear yourself up and get moving non-stop until after your 'A' levels. You have all the time in the world to relax after that. Now just pull your socks up, get your butts moving, start revising, so on and so forth and so on and so forth and..." Whatever....!!!! I mean, even with God, sometimes i really really feel that this is really not life for humans. it's inhumane. Torturous. Living hell. Whatever you call it. I can totally identify with the RJ girl. Though the name difference of an 'S' brings much disparity in the academic achievements, the stress remains the same nonetheless. Or even more for us, i think. Teachers all think we can't make it, and then push us on as if we can make it. What's the point, man. Sometimes i really feel that perhaps i made the wrong choice by not going to a poly. I'm not even taking the subjects that i wanted to take.

Enough of complaining. But why? why did she choose this route? When i read the papers on wednesday, followed by the featured blog and some of her friend's blogs, my heart really went out to them. Deep inside me, my tears just swelled. Really, why? Is death really the answer? Sometimes i think so to. But when i think of people around me... my family, my brothers and sisters, my friends... i couldn't bear to. Not that i can't bear to leave them, but i can't bear to bring so much hurts and sorrow to them. I've done enough, let's not end it the bad way. I know some out there dislike me; but more out there care for me. I can feel it. I can see it. I'm not sure though. Will my faith and peseverance, and will God pull me through such times? With things piling up everywhere and as time ticks by mercilessly? I don't know. I don't dare to know how will i react. Been feeling tired recently. Physically tired, mentally burnt out with some many things to do. Solitude times with God were great, until the moment i got back into reality my heart just sank. Why can't God just remove me from this world and its torturous clutches? Why...

Enough said. Friends, don't ever follow in the RJCian's footstep. It solves your problems, perhaps, but it multiplies that of others.

Shannon left at 9:03 p. m..

[ 213. Computer Woes ]

And yes, my com crashed a second time within a week.
And i finally found the root of my techie problems too: a faulty hard disk.
So i ripped this hard disk off my old com now rotting in the living room.
Well, i'm so glad that i didn't dump this com, it does have it's uses. At least for now.

Nonetheless, today was supposed napfa test.
But we all got the wish that we want: you fail any station, you can go off to train by yourself.
Haha... and guess which is the first one? Not pull-ups, but broad jumps.
My first jump.... 195 cm. Argh. That was really bad.
Then davis helped by being an idiot standing at the other end of the mat, and i jumped.... 215 cm. =/
Haha, good attempt. But it's still a fail. Who cares.
And Kelvin also failed.... so we went to do some pull ups and run about and jump around...
Quite slack eh? but tiring lahz. And after some time... we went to check out the remaining group...
We started broad jump with about 20 people, and after the 5 stations, we are left with... two.
LoL.

Haha, ok, gotta go settle some stuff. Cya around~

Shannon left at 5:10 p. m..

gone. will i be back? i don't know. maybe i've started elsewhere. maybe never. again.

domingo, agosto 31, 2003

[ 273. choir ]

[ 272. Someone ]

sábado, agosto 30, 2003

[ 271. Typical Singaporean ]

[ 270. Jacqueline ]

viernes, agosto 29, 2003

[ 269. Supper ]

[ 268. Celebrations ]

jueves, agosto 28, 2003

[ 267. Teachers' Day ]

miércoles, agosto 27, 2003

[ 266. Quote ]

[ 265. Midweek ]

martes, agosto 26, 2003

[ 264. School ]

[ 263. Sian ]

lunes, agosto 25, 2003

[ 262. Rehearsal ]

domingo, agosto 24, 2003

[ 261. Mervin's Birthday ]

[ 260. District Meeting ]

[ 259. Passionate ]

[ 258. Bad Day ]

sábado, agosto 23, 2003

[ 257. Sheep ]

[ 256. Letter ]

viernes, agosto 22, 2003

[ 255. Council ]

[ 254. Sick ]

[ 253. Moody ]

jueves, agosto 21, 2003

[ 252. World ]

[ 251. Facts of Life ]

[ 250. Happy Birthday Dom! ]

miércoles, agosto 20, 2003

[ 249. Slam ]

[ 248. Affirmation ]

martes, agosto 19, 2003

[ 247. Hendon Camp ]

lunes, agosto 18, 2003

[ 246. Fat ]

[ 245. Monday ]

domingo, agosto 17, 2003

[ 244. Riddles ]

[ 243. Service ]

[ 242. Long day ]

viernes, agosto 15, 2003

[ 241. Patriotism ]

[ 240. Tagboard ]

jueves, agosto 14, 2003

[ 239. Quiz ]

[ 238. Sick ]

[ 237. Early Leave ]

miércoles, agosto 13, 2003

[ 236. Unpretty ]

[ 235. Wrong Place ]

martes, agosto 12, 2003

[ 234. RPC Shutdown virus ]

[ 233. Interesting ]

[ 232. CLC2 ]

lunes, agosto 11, 2003

[ 231. Comments ]

[ 230. School ]

domingo, agosto 10, 2003

[ 229. Service ]

[ 228. National Day ]

sábado, agosto 09, 2003

[ 227. Quizzes ]

[ 226. Marcus ]

viernes, agosto 08, 2003

[ 225. National Day ]

jueves, agosto 07, 2003

[ 224. Probability ]

[ 223. Physics ]

miércoles, agosto 06, 2003

[ 222. Career Fair ]

martes, agosto 05, 2003

[ 221. Sin ]

gone.

will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.