gone.
will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.
sábado, diciembre 04, 2004
[ 728. Fellowship ]
I've been pretty blessed this week. For the three days that i've been in camp, i had people to give me a lift to the exact location that i'm heading. Thank you so much, ssg ow and randy.
Had a little longer talk with ssg ow on wednesday as he sent me to plaza singapura. He was sharing his experience in ops room for the past five months he has been here since he taken over as ops warrant since july. Ups and downs, that i can understand. Since i've been in the ops room for almost as long, i could testify to what he said. I, myself had my fair share of ups and downs in ops room. Mostly conflicts with my upper study. Just yesterday, it was another of those face off with him. Regarding mob state which i shan't elaborate.
Last night, randy sent me home. Not long after i was heading towards tiong bahru to meet bowen. Found him comix connection looking at the ps2 naruto game. And he was whining (yes, whining) to me "... i waaaaaaaaan a ps twoooooooooo.....". I gave him a o_O look and the following conversation ensued:
me: never mind... we'll share and buy one okie? (sounds like i'm coaxing a lil kid)
bo: okay... then we'll put it at my place... and you'll never see it again! muahaha...
me: (-_-") then you can pay me back installments....
bo: ("-_-)
such dialogue always happen between the two of us... haha... sound kiddish and such, but it's lil things like this that appetize our mood to start sharing about the greater things in life. On my way to bukit merah, we just talked about our week: my genting trip, his new zealand exercise next year, my upper study, his training, the church camp next year, our projected trip to anywhere out of singapore, and so on. I really admire this brother sometimes. So much so that i feel hopeless for him also. This dear of mine actually didn't have an inkling where bt merah at all. He was intending on taking a cab from tiong bahru. Then again, it's not the first time. It always amazes me about the faith that he has that he know how to get to the right place eventually. Maybe it's the faith in the taxi drivers in singapore. Haha, that i'm joking, but he always show me the faith that God will bring him to the right place. And i always seems to be vessel that leads him there. Many times i had to navigate and bring him to the right place after all.
The guys were already done with the conference, so we headed straight for macdonalds to meet them for dinner. Then you know, the inevitable sharing sessions. I have to applaud sharon for the effort she puts in the make every sharing session a different one. It's not easy, really. But for me, it wasn't either. I'm losing my touch in sharing my life with these guys. Sometimes, it just seems to me that people aren't really interested anyway. No, i could justify that. Just last night, when it was my turn, people were subconsciously engrossed in their own conversations, or playing with that little kid on the next table. Feel kinda hurt, but i just went on to talk about my week. Hastily ended it, and then miraculously their attention were on the next guy who shared. Hmmm.
Sometimes it makes me wonder how come i'm holding on to this group. What's left for me to hold on, anyway. But upon pondering, i realized there are much. People. People that i can't bear to disappoint, to leave. I know i've disappointed them much, but the least i could do is to disappoint them further. People like enghow, bowen and some more. People that i know i'm coming back for. People whom i can see God through their lives, what we call bridges between me and God. That God can still be real to man...
"Open my eyes, let me see."
Shannon left at 10:01 a. m..
the guy
xuan shannon male single 030985.
ntu cs year1 / vocalconsort tenor2 / hopesg nyc ntub1.
msn me.
his wishes
new clothes, new shoes, new bike, new friends, fantastic grades.
macbook, ipod nano, nokia n80, new wallet.
his horizons
malaysia, penang.
australia, brisbane/gold coast.
thailand, hatyai.
malaysia, genting.
malaysia, johor.
malaysia, melaka.
thailand, chiangmai.
australia, perth.
canada, edmonton/cold lake.
australia, rockhampton.
thailand, bangkok.
austria, vienna.
czech rep, olomouc.
austria, salzburg.
germany, munich.
switzerland, zurich.