gone.
will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.
viernes, diciembre 22, 2006
[ 1314. Lousy ]
I'm in a fucking lousy mood now. You know, one of those times where you simply feel so insecure about everything that you do.
FOC. choir. cheerleading. studies. friends. family. relationships.
I feel so screwed. In every single aspect.
Jokingly it may seem at times, but boys, be responsible for your freaking words. Don't assume that people are in the mood to joke with you. I'm in no farking mood to play guessing games with you. Even if i'm not qualified to criticise others, i'm jolly well entitled to rant. Bear that in mind.
The same feeling i got a year ago came back. With new additions to the section i feel threatened. I feel my flaws all reappearing again. Or rather, maybe it was never solved. Just plainly overlooked. I feel so... weak. Thoughts of pulling out from this concert even crossed my mind. I know it's just letting my thoughts run wild, but maybe i should not even try so hard at all. Am i even trying? Maybe i'm not. I don't know.
Once again, it's those sickening thoughts of wondering how come some people got it all, and it seems to hard for people like us to reach that kind of standards. And it's so prevalent everywhere. Freaking hell...
It christmas and yet i don't feel the christmas cheer anywhere around. I haven't even got down to writing my cards. Only wrote 5 so far. Grrr.
You know it's one of those times when i just feel like breaking down and have a good cry. It's wussy to do that, but it heals. Heals all hurts and loneliness. Letting emotions flow freely and not having to put up the brave front and pretend that life is all pink and rosy and fun and all.
But many a times, we all do things in a spur of a moment, only to regret the next moment.
Shannon left at 1:46 a. m..
the guy
xuan shannon male single 030985.
ntu cs year1 / vocalconsort tenor2 / hopesg nyc ntub1.
msn me.
his wishes
new clothes, new shoes, new bike, new friends, fantastic grades.
macbook, ipod nano, nokia n80, new wallet.
his horizons
malaysia, penang.
australia, brisbane/gold coast.
thailand, hatyai.
malaysia, genting.
malaysia, johor.
malaysia, melaka.
thailand, chiangmai.
australia, perth.
canada, edmonton/cold lake.
australia, rockhampton.
thailand, bangkok.
austria, vienna.
czech rep, olomouc.
austria, salzburg.
germany, munich.
switzerland, zurich.