my.escape

domingo, noviembre 26, 2006

[ 1304. Charlene ]

Shannon left at 10:52 a. m..

sábado, noviembre 25, 2006

[ 1303. Impulses ]

Staying at home for the past couple of days have been pretty surreal. Watching five episodes of a drama revolving around a dead husband, working mum, a jailed spouse, gossips and bitching (the list goes on) you just need a break somewhere. Dinner at tampines mall was good, and i lost six miserable dollars and some petrol on the late night mahjong.

Here i am, on the impulse to blog.

Impulsive actions are harmful to the souls. I forgotten since when, i told myself to give in to impulses because i might never have the chance ever again. Random actions, irrelevant words and awkward situations usually follow those. Of course, there are some perks of spontaniety as well, reaffirming my decision to follow my heart. In retrospect, impulses are really dumb. It makes certain places lose its meaning, certain gestures lose their warmth, certain words lose their flavour and certain objects lose their significance. Remember those days that you went to a special place with coveted memories just simply because you felt like doing it? And subsequently you frequent the place almost every other day because you keep giving in to your own whims? After a while the place lose its meaning.

Ikea's cafe was one part of my covered past. But since those days i took on steven for tuition, i visited it every week, and subsequently its about as common as the coffeeshop beneath my house. The memories of the event remain, but the place became dead to me.

With exams over, its pretty weird to have all the free time of the world. And with everyone busy with their own stuff, i wonder how should i occupy my time. A job would have been great, but with foc, dnd, cheerleading and carolling, the time's definitely not allowing it. Every other varsity soul is probably still busy with their exams. Only we "cool communication students" (to quote jared) are probably the only lucky rats to frolic in the streets proclaiming that exams are over. Every one of us are probably busy anyway. Ziliang's over in shanghai cuddling up with his girl-on-exchange-friend, the hae gals (manda, rai, yayun, dawn) are probably spending precious time making-out/wasting-it/hanging-out together with their boyfriend/soon-to-be-boyfriends/soon-not-to-be-boyfriends. God knows what my foc comm is doing as well. Erwin's probably at island creamery licking ice cream with some girl, leigh's still reading up on bali when she's going there like soon, charmain's dead from working last night, feebs and lays lying at home doing god-knows-what. And the list goes on. Here i am, blogging and speculating what they are doing.

"You've got no life man, xuan."

Waitaminit. There's church later, choir tomorrow, and lots more desperate housewives to watch! Who says i've got no life? And yes, there's also 111 books to return to all major libraries too!

Shannon left at 12:57 p. m..

viernes, noviembre 24, 2006

[ 1302. Recollections of Europe ]

The hotel that we kids put up in. Nelson and the rest put up in a different hotel, a couple of streets down. Europe taught me how to walk. The lack of a comprehensive public transport, the cooling weather and the seemingly safe streets, they all make walking lovely and breezy.

Love little dinner place we found in one of the back alley of salzburg. So good are their pasta, we went back the following evening for another round. Wonderful slow pace, but with no rush or hurry, why bother? Sipping juice, enjoying the cool evening breeze and chatting with friends and acquaintances after a hectic week, who cares if time slips away slowly. Alas, only if the sun never sets.

King's bridge.

Forgotten which church is this though. One of the many that we saw while transiting in munich.

World cup fever running the streets of munich.

The lion monument that is worth a glance.

And i miss the stage. January, i'm waiting.

Shannon left at 10:53 a. m..

jueves, noviembre 23, 2006

[ 1301. Charlene's Birthday ]

I'm an idiot. I grabbed the camera out of my hall, without bringing the cable back. The photos are as good as captive in my camera.

FOC meeting the whole damned day, which was pretty productive i had to say. Followed by a kiddy birthday celebration for charlene at KAP's macdonalds. My first macdonalds party, if you need to know.

I feel like a kid. Hahaha. Haha. Ha.

Suddenly it seems all so surreal. Nothing to do all of a sudden, and i've gotta fill up my own schedule, time and all.

I know there's consort, foc, cheerleading, dnd and christmas coming along, but i don't feel all so excited. Somewhat. In fact, i'm taking them as routine.

It's always scary to share your darkest secrets to someone, even if he's close. You'll wonder, if he's still accepting. Thanks dude. ;)

Tomorrow will be a slow day. Let's enjoy.

Shannon left at 10:48 p. m..

miércoles, noviembre 22, 2006

[ 1300. Predicted Grades ]

With the conclusion of my first examinations in the wee kim wee school of communication and information in nanyang technological university, collectively known as the NTUWKWSCI, i'm proud to announce my predicted grades:

CS101: B
CS102: B+
CS107: B
CS108: A-
CS111: B+
CS816: B-

Predicted GPA: 3.78

With that, we'll match it with the actual one when results are announced in december.

====

It's a start of a long long holiday...

Shannon left at 10:59 p. m..

lunes, noviembre 20, 2006

[ 1299. Chats ]

Went consort yesterday, and it's all fun and warmth, and it didn't seemed like i took a break at all. Haha. The practice, the carols, the familiar voices and the mahjong thereafter, all smells feels and seems all so familiar. It's been a year since this has been going on, and boy am i glad that it's still going on. =)

Had a pretty lengthy chat with sam over late night coffee after we left nelson's place a tad poorer. Army, girlfriends, consort, friends, movies, studies, shopping, coffee, so on and so forth. If i didn't had a paper this afternoon we probably would have gone on the whole night. It's been good catching up with him, and in retrospect, it was really quite a heartwarming talk. Never had such an in depth convo with anyone for that matter.

Today's paper was a breeze. Wheee. Alright, back to books.

Shannon left at 5:51 p. m..

domingo, noviembre 19, 2006

[ 1298. Hurt ]

It's plain to me, many of us are hurt, but most of us don't wanna show it, talk about it or even admit it.

It's tough living today huh. Holding all the hurts grievances and all for the past 20 or so years, and holding on to them for another 60 years in the future.

Tough isn't it? Kind of young to feel so depressed, isn't it?

It seems like instead of dealing with it we use things to mask it. Like how we like to use air freshener to cover up foul smell, only to make it smell even worse after the initial fragrance fizzed away.

We all need a lil love, lil compassion. ;)

Shannon left at 2:30 a. m..

miércoles, noviembre 15, 2006

[ 1297. Exams ]

First day of exams!

Haha... i'm surprisingly calm actually. Calm in the sense that, i didn't wake up and panicked, grabbing my books and mug even before i washed up.

No, i feel so at peace whenever i'm out of cs. Maybe i should spend less time in school. Haha.

All the best people!

Shannon left at 9:50 a. m..

martes, noviembre 14, 2006

[ 1296. Suppers ]

In this crucial period when all uni students are supposed to glue their asses to the study seat and mug non-stop 14 hours a day, i have the audacity to go on not one supper, not two, but a spate of suppers. Almost every night, playing the catch up game with army friends.

Last wednesday was upp thomson with eugene, reminiscencing about the good old maple flag days. Along with those whacky videos i made of the trip, including him spoofing maj g, and the (un)fortunate discovery of these videos by people that matter. Haha.

Went to casuarina initially for their kambing soup, alas they were closing and only had prata left. adjourned to prata king, where i realized that 1 egg onion prata was barely enough for me. Sheesh. The crispy prata was rather to my taste though, it tasted like hot crackers. I like!

Friday was spent with dunwen at 85, savouring fried oysters, chicken wings and ah-balling. Chicken wings was fffffantastic, even as a postlude to ikea's fried wings just the day before. slurp! fried oysters were so-so. you know i always go for just the eggs rather than the oysters. Never really acquired the liking for the oysters. Haha. He had the ahballings, but i was pretty full so i passed on it. My teh-peng never came, so we left there and then.

Last night was teochew porridge with eric (and his other half). Oh, thanks for the treat. ;) Seeing the two of them reminds me of the cartoon strip in the comm mosaic textbook, Ricandamy. Haha. Still bitching about the good old days (highly debatable) where hans' russ bear was the object of my sadism, and i was the object of eric's violence (ouch). The significantly missing third member of this trio was naturally the subject of our bitching session also. Hansel, how could we missed out on you right? So just to let you on, we talked about your stage kiss and how your parents never spoke to you after that, your cross-dressing photo on your blog, how ziwei (who's working somewhat for trevvy) told eric about the online furore on sgboyx on you (or so it seems, but we vow to go see for ourselves and find out anyway), possibility of posting up your photos on the forum, and also the possible marketing of your contact details for a fat profit... haha... some good friends we are right? lols. Alright, on a more humane level, we were also wondering when will you be back so we can do supper together at chomp chomp. =)

alright, alright. that's enough. back to the books. 30 hours to first paper. =)

Shannon left at 10:20 a. m..

lunes, noviembre 13, 2006

[ 1295. Mighty To Save ]

Saviour,
He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save.

Forever,
Author of salvation,
He has conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Powerful, magnificent.
Simple lyrics, simple truth.

Maybe it's because i'm feeling down recently.
It never fails to uplift me, each time i'm down, each time i seek refreshment.
Worship's a blasting way to feelin all high and nice. =)

God, thanks for all the healing music...

Shannon left at 1:02 a. m..

viernes, noviembre 10, 2006

[ 1294. Egocentrism ]

Egocentric: thinking only for oneself, without regard for the feelings or desires of others; self-centered.

I'm not gonna latch into a whole self-condemning and pity-gathering entry on how egocentric i've been in the entire semester, what a bastard i have been, an ungentleman that i am and all those bullshit.

In short, yes, i admit, i screw it up in that area. And that's that.

Lesson learnt, and time to be more conscious in time to come. Especially that FOC is going on high in december. Or so i want.

Unilateral: performed by or affecting only one person, group or country involved in a particular situation, often without the agreement of others.

There are times that i find it hard to express myself in words, be it verbally, or in print. There are also times i find nothing else to talk about except people and feelings. Because i think they are important. And less importantly so, because i don't know much else to talk about. People seemed like a safe bet. It's interesting to analyse conversations, monologues and behaviours, how we react to friends and foe.
It's puzzling how come people has so different face-to-face and online personas. The aloof, lonesome creature you call a dork in school, may be a whacko in the virtual community.

If only live is editable. I'd choose to rearrange the scenes of life, and make it a whole lot more dramatic and funny than what it is now. I would take out some really draggy portions like relationship turmoils, even though the sadist in everyone likes to watch such scenes. I would prolong and slow-mo portions like holidays. Muting sounds, writing misleading subtitles to make dialogues speak what the actors are not saying. That's cool. I always think that life is worthy of a drama. That's what make us enjoy it so much. Though it's the little things that matter in life, but it's the big things that makes us enjoy life.

I like doing alternative agendas. It's cliche, it's old school by now, but we're still not very accepting of it.

And yes, everyone has the dark side. It's time for me to explore it and fall in love with it.

Shannon left at 7:50 p. m..

[ 1293. Still ]

When the oceans rise, and thunders roar
I will soar with you, above the storm
Father you are king, over the flood
I will be still and know you are God...

This song is ever so ministering. After going through a desert i'm so thankful that these words still mean something to me.

I know i rarely verbalise this nowadays, but thank you God. =)

Thanks for teaching me new ways of life that i never thought i'd learn.

Shannon left at 2:19 p. m..

jueves, noviembre 09, 2006

[ 1292. Shattered ]

I haven't mentioned much of this before, but finally the 108 video has come to an end. Two days ago, to be exact.

Here's it: Shattered.

Warning, it's rated M18, so viewer discretion is advised.

Much thanks to many people. To be exact, (in chronological order of production)

thanks kester, for helping to act in the clip. Know it hasn't been easy working with my group, thanks for being helpful and being graceful nonetheless.

thanks erwin for the help in the first day's shoot. the fresh ideas and all, thanks for all of them. very, very entertaining. =)

thanks mandric, rongjun & derek for the music. I know i've been buggy you guys for help and all, but i'm glad to say that ur works have been put to good use. ;)

thanks sean for the help in flash. the tight deadlines, anal demands and all, thanks for bearing with them all.

thanks to the audience, for the wonderful reception to my team's work.

Enjoy, one and all, before i decide to keep it away forever.

Shannon left at 8:18 p. m..

miércoles, noviembre 08, 2006

[ 1291. Talk To Me ]

This is an egocentric post.

Sometimes, i just wish she could be my best friend, and talk to me.
Even when i'm sitting beside her, talking to her, she'd just turn and talk to someone else.
What can i do?
Gee, i don't know.
Except to leave and try again, yet another time.
Is there really no room for a good guy friend?
Or guys must 'ways maintain their distance?

This is an egocentric post.

Shannon left at 4:50 p. m..

sábado, noviembre 04, 2006

[ 1290. Colorgenics ]

Is it that you are working - or even playing - too hard? Because it would seem that you are experiencing a great deal of pent-up emotion at this time which could possibly take effect and lead to irrational behaviour.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth.

Perhaps in the distant past your trust and belief in your fellow man was misplaced and you can now no longer accept anything as it appears to be. You are untrusting and you insist that before you commit yourself to anything, you examine the pro's and con's with critical discrimination. The situation has now progressed to one where you are apt to disagree yet not make any form of constructive criticism to every suggestion that may be put to you. As a result you are in limbo. There is a saying that goes 'The past does not equal tomorrow'. Think about it - and let go.

===

Thanks to leigh. i'm sold too!

Shannon left at 11:16 a. m..

[ 1289. Tears at Two ]

You know how i usually formulate fantastic blogging ideas on the bus? And i lose them all the moment i get home.

Talk about short term memory.

It's been a traumatic evening. I've been crushed, rolled over, flattened and then spat twice over for the added effect.

Thank god for window grills. Otherwise the previous post might have been my parting note.

Shannon left at 11:06 a. m..

gone.

will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.

domingo, noviembre 26, 2006

[ 1304. Charlene ]

sábado, noviembre 25, 2006

[ 1303. Impulses ]

viernes, noviembre 24, 2006

[ 1302. Recollections of Europe ]

jueves, noviembre 23, 2006

[ 1301. Charlene's Birthday ]

miércoles, noviembre 22, 2006

[ 1300. Predicted Grades ]

lunes, noviembre 20, 2006

[ 1299. Chats ]

domingo, noviembre 19, 2006

[ 1298. Hurt ]

miércoles, noviembre 15, 2006

[ 1297. Exams ]

martes, noviembre 14, 2006

[ 1296. Suppers ]

lunes, noviembre 13, 2006

[ 1295. Mighty To Save ]

viernes, noviembre 10, 2006

[ 1294. Egocentrism ]

[ 1293. Still ]

jueves, noviembre 09, 2006

[ 1292. Shattered ]

miércoles, noviembre 08, 2006

[ 1291. Talk To Me ]

sábado, noviembre 04, 2006

[ 1290. Colorgenics ]

[ 1289. Tears at Two ]

the guy

his wishes

his horizons

people.

tags

gone. will i be back? i don't know. maybe i've started elsewhere. maybe never. again.

domingo, noviembre 26, 2006

[ 1304. Charlene ]

sábado, noviembre 25, 2006

[ 1303. Impulses ]

viernes, noviembre 24, 2006

[ 1302. Recollections of Europe ]

jueves, noviembre 23, 2006

[ 1301. Charlene's Birthday ]

miércoles, noviembre 22, 2006

[ 1300. Predicted Grades ]

lunes, noviembre 20, 2006

[ 1299. Chats ]

domingo, noviembre 19, 2006

[ 1298. Hurt ]

miércoles, noviembre 15, 2006

[ 1297. Exams ]

martes, noviembre 14, 2006

[ 1296. Suppers ]

lunes, noviembre 13, 2006

[ 1295. Mighty To Save ]

viernes, noviembre 10, 2006

[ 1294. Egocentrism ]

[ 1293. Still ]

jueves, noviembre 09, 2006

[ 1292. Shattered ]

miércoles, noviembre 08, 2006

[ 1291. Talk To Me ]

sábado, noviembre 04, 2006

[ 1290. Colorgenics ]

[ 1289. Tears at Two ]

the guy

his wishes

his horizons

people.

tags

gone.

will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.