my.escape

gone.

will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.

lunes, abril 24, 2006

[ 1160. Toil ]

Went home on a cab at 1030pm last night. Kudos to kelvin who footed the bulk of the bill. Generous dude, one again. Kudos to nelson for the dinner at expo. And for the use of his place for our weekly mahjong sessions.

Yesterday's practice was actually not too bad. Thankfully the tenors didn't collapse. In fact i think everyone tried their best. But i'm just not very satisfied with my own performance. Pitching problems, especially for ave maria, and singing wrong notes here and there. No support at all. Too tired to properly hit those high notes. And i could feel myself cracking at notes like E. Super drained by the high notes after ave maria. And revision of the old songs were like horrible. Super rusty. Didn't help at all. So after practice was pretty sianned. Tried not to think too much, especially entertaining all those horrible thoughts such as if i should be singing in a choir at all. Mj did help to distract me a lil, hehs.

I need to improve. I need to sing better. I want to sing better.

And today when i'm teaching i felt a strain in my throat. And that irritated the hell out of me. It's just so tiring to have to compete with a combined force of 40 noisy lil kids yakking away. So i slammed the duster on the board. And spoke. And glared. And i think that worked. At least i didn't have to scream and strain my voice again. If this goes on indefinitely, i'm gonna be a bass soon. Dammit. NOOOOO.

Haaaizzz. Every now and then i'll have insecurities when it comes to singing. And i know that my standard probably is barely passable for consort. how? hmmmm.

Let's not dwell on it bah. try la.

Shannon left at 10:46 a. m..

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gone. will i be back? i don't know. maybe i've started elsewhere. maybe never. again.