domingo, febrero 19, 2006
[ 1101. Insecurities ]
Something to start it off first today. Today was consort day. Also know as insecure sunday. Why? Cuz my security is challenged whenever i attend practice. I think i sound bad. Though some has said that i sound ok, but ok to me has a negative connotation. In comparision i think i'm the relatively weakest tenor in consort. I think. Yeah. That's one of my insecurities.
I feel fat. That's another insecurity. And i'm too lazy to do anything about it. Period.
And i often feel insecure about my looks, my body, blah blah, blah blah.
Insecurity is a feeling, often negative (like duhz), that one feel when his comfort level has been challenged. Or when he or she is placed in a community when everyone is virtually better than him or her in some aspect or another. Sounds familiar?
But face it: there's always a better writer, a better singer, a better musician, a better emcee, a better designer, a better athlete than 99.99999% of the world's population. After all, there can only be one number 1 spot.
Insecurity arises as a result of the need to please others. To show others our success, and to exhibit that one is superior to another solely because he can achieve something that another cannot.
There's a couple of ways to deal with it. One of which is to strive for success, to constantly improve yourself, eliminate competition at all cost. Of course, ethical and moral implications will sure to follow. Another is to be content with who you are, realizing that obtaining the top spot in the laziest man on earth is also an honour of some kind.
We've gotta factor the God factor in as well. Ultimately we need to know who we need to please. God, or man, that's your choice. And there should be this assurance that God has the ability to make you the head and not the tail, Him willing and if it's in the plans. Many a times there's this lack of understanding that God is the ultimate authority in life and He can work through ways far beyond our comprehension. But first things first, we need to know our footing and identity in God. We need to know what's our purpose for Him before slowing discovering His plans for us... Knowing that God loves us doesn't necessarily and automatically eliminates all insecurities, but it does help to minimise that now that we know we ain't actually gotta please anyone else except Him.
Aye. But i'm still seriously think that i'm damn weak sia... even the F# is pretty horrible for me and my poor throat...
Shannon left at 8:50 p. m..
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