domingo, diciembre 11, 2005
[ 1037. It's a Saturday... Again. ]
Let me tell you what is waste. Waste is when you buy a new stove in which you agreed to install, but never got around doing it at all. Waste is when you spend more money seeing doctor and disinfecting the whole house when you don't flush the toilet and as a result god-knows-what germs flies all around the whole house. Waste is when you procrastinate to cancel one home phone line when we told you half a year ago to do so.
Ok, never mind rants.
For the first time in a long time i've completed the entire course of word for life. Got a lil run-in with some people during one of those group discussions, and i realized i still reacted negatively almost immediately. Which of course, kind of disappointed me. Though end day itself both parties were heading down wrong tracks, but the crux of the whole matter wasn't so much of who's right and wrong, but our response and feelings towards the people in question. I myself failed in that matter. Quick to judge, slow to forgive. That's what i think i did, regretting almost instantaneously as well. The entire episode not only made me realized how little i know as a pre-undergraduate, but also how far more i have to grow in God, despite spending much time in church.
Today marked the 2nd year of my life wearing green. Exactly two years ago, i stepped into this place called pulau tekong, not knowing what my next four months held for me. Nonetheless i stand proud as a corporal today, though not a commander as many has inspired, but proud enough to say i'm gonna ord soon. lolx. Which brings me to another point. Today jon was casually asking over dinner how this ns group came about. Or rather, who decides who come to this group. And as we explained to him the brief history of this group and the people who formed this group, we also forecasted what would happen next year, when we all go into university. NUS, SMU, NTU, to be exact. How we would all go to groups as according to the unis that we are heading towards. Then something struck me. How soon will that be. Or rather, after spending years with each other, this inevitable 'splitting up' will occur relatively soon. And well... it'll be a whole new challenge, stepping out of this comfort zone called USM3 that we have been nesting in for so long. So much so that we are so comfortable with each other that we speak our mind, we know how far we can go, we know what each other is really like. That we don't bother hiding ourselves. Don't bother trying to act holy. Let real emotions and feelings flow. But will it be like that for in our new groups? I don't know what my future lies for me actually, though i know He holds them. One main concern will be that bo and i will not longer be in the same group. Even enghow is unlikely to be in my cg. So will i still be able to keep them close to my heart after we start school? Ehh... seriously i don't know. I mean, these are the two closest people i know in church, who i can share the most freely to about everything and anything. Probably it's due to convenience and the amount of time we do things together, we serve together. And another pressing issue. What about those people whom we don't see that regularly? Will they still have a reason to come after we go our separate ways? I don't know, seriously. I wonder how will they cope in the new groups. I wonder how will they react to new people, and to challenges that people may pose them inevitably. I'm clueless, yet pretty burdened.
Well. It's still far off, if you wanna argue. But time really flies. Especially when you don't know it. Now sharon's back for a break, and before you know it, she's back for good.
Shannon left at 12:22 a. m..
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