domingo, octubre 24, 2004
[ 699. Ops Room ]
With each day, and with my low treshold of verbal needles and high sensitivity, I feel that i'm drifting from these dudes.
It all started that very day dy screamed at me over the vacuum cleaner incident. Somehow since then, it has always been a three-on-one kind of situation. It's always the mature trio, versus the yet-to-grow-up copa. The S.H.E. fanatic, Donkay & lawyer-to-be versus da kid. And it's not any kid. it's THE kid. They tell me, if i didn't want people to look upon me as a kid, then don't act like one. And i tell you: it work both ways, friends. If in your heart you decide that i play a kid, i will always be one. There's nothing adult about me to you, if your mindset doesn't change.
There are incidents which i'm wrong. Like the way i put off getting the disseminations signed. It's a pain catching people by their collar just to get them so sign something so simple. It makes me feel like a bug. Whenever i see someone to sign something, i feel like i never got good news for them. What makes things worse? I can't even explain anything whenever questions arises. Like when my jokes get abit too lame. And they found that the jokes were more personal rather than humourous. Like when the things i say translate a different meaning from what i intended. Now this is not new. And as usual, i'll be flustered, eagerly trying to clear my name only. There after, the cycle of guilt, worry and solitude would follow. Like i said, it will be a cycle and it starts all over again sometime later.
I know i'm the latest addition, and relationships need to be worked upon. I know my personality is not that of an attractive one. I know my interests differ vastly from them.
I'm biting off more than what i can handle. I'm taking a break. I need it. |
Shannon left at 7:11 p. m..