domingo, octubre 24, 2004
[ 698. Sundays ]
Cancelled tuition today mainly due to two reasons: I was tired, and i haven't prepared for tuition. Called and settled on tuition tomorrow instead. Furthermore, had this impulse of wanting to spend time with the brothers today. No, not even with chris who i always hang out with almost every sunday that i'm available. But with the brothers.
Something just snapped me. Perhaps its the ever familiar feeling of loneliness and yet not alone, but i know these guys will be there for me. I know God will be there.
"...I come into Your courts with praise, i bow before Your throne
Your presence gives me peace within, and the joy i've never known
So i give to You, my heart and soul, may it brings You pleasure Lord
There's no higher call, than to worship You, for You alone are God
I worship You Almighty God, there is none like You
I worship You O prince of peace, this is what i long to do
I give You praise, for You are my righteousness
I worship You Almighty God, there is none like You..."
It struck me. This very song that almost brought me to my knees today. I was greatly distracted by thoughts, yet so convicted by the love. The love that i've missed out so far. The love that was given so freely, yet i didn't cherish it so humbly.
Sometimes i wonder if it's too late. But i know it's not, though although i sometimes feel it is. I'm taking it step by step, little by little. I need a sign, a sign that i'm moving on, a sign that i'm getting it. Well, i miss the fellowship, frankly speaking. Seeing how the brothers are getting on so closely together sometimes made me feel bad. Reminded me of how i actually turned my back initially. People offered, i rejected. Life of love, fun and happiness were more inviting than the joy i'd have gotten.
That's the sole reason, i guess. The reason why i chose to stay and hang out with the brothers. Frankly, i miss them. I miss those times of fun and aimlessly walking around after service, after lunch. Never had a place in mind, but we always find novelty in things to do. It never ran dry.
Brothers, i do miss you guys. Really.
Shannon left at 6:52 p. m..
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