my.escape

gone.

will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.

viernes, agosto 27, 2004

[ 662. Hope ]

Exactly a week more to the end of my 18th year on earth. A dozen and a lil more days to the end of the sixth year with God. That's bad, or good, i wouldn't know. These 18 years have not been good. Physically embedded in a good family, emotionally so empty. Found God, lost him, regained him, embraced him, disappointed him, stayed away from him. The first few years of life with God was truly a taste of heaven: the innocence, the purity, that childlike faith. After that when setbacks start setting in, when reality eats you, when the world catches up and overwhelms you. You feel like crying. And some people tell you its ok to cry. Others say its a sissy thing. You decide to put on the brave front, the "i'm ok, you're ok" front. You put on the facade where people think you got it all together, but in fact you know deep within yourself you haven't. You have results, you have friends, you have charisma, you have family, you have confidence. But not self-esteem. But not love. Love from others. Love from above. Not that freely He doesn't give, but rather, freely we do not take. We don't dare to. We don't think we deserved. But well, the more fearful we are to receive the love, we further we run. Run into the hands of sin. Evil. Self-denial. Denying our status in God. Even today i wonder how do people keep the faith and run. Just simply keep on running, and let God be the wind beneath our wings. In fact, he gave us the wings. So we may soar, so we can choose to rise or descend. No longer a matter of fact, but a matter of choice. People fear flying. Flying into the unknown heights of the skies. Into the unexplored territories of God. Into the unpredicted discoveries he has in place for us.

I'm one of them.

Shannon left at 8:28 p. m..

the guy

xuan shannon male single 030985.
ntu cs year1 / vocalconsort tenor2 / hopesg nyc ntub1.
msn me.

his wishes

new clothes, new shoes, new bike, new friends, fantastic grades. ~~macbook, ipod nano, nokia n80, new wallet.~~

his horizons

malaysia, penang. australia, brisbane/gold coast. thailand, hatyai. malaysia, genting. malaysia, johor. malaysia, melaka. thailand, chiangmai. australia, perth. canada, edmonton/cold lake. australia, rockhampton. thailand, bangkok. austria, vienna. czech rep, olomouc. austria, salzburg. germany, munich. switzerland, zurich.

tags

Visitors:

My Achieves

03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003
04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007

Extras

Icons, Pictures, videos or anything here.

gone. will i be back? i don't know. maybe i've started elsewhere. maybe never. again.