sábado, mayo 22, 2004
[ 557. Depressed ]
Started off the week quite sickly... contemplated reporting sick since monday, but hesitated due to the promises of going far away from the course comm on the exercise day. But heck, by wednesday i gave up and i went to report sick. The MO was such an idiot. All he did was just to match the medication to my symptoms. Go figure that yourself. Think this week i learnt so much. So much more about my platoon. About selfishness, about giving. About team work, about covering your own butt. All along since the start of course there was this dennis who told interesting stories about his four years as a soldier. But as days goes by most people got irritated by the exaggeration of his stories, and more importantly, he wanting to give his five cents worth in every single thing that is mentioned by anyone. Nonetheless, we started poking fun at him, initially discreetly, up to outright blasting at him this week. There was this group of us who were blasting him with personal attacks, and another group poking fun at everything that he says, in hope that he would tear down that mask and be his real self. Things got pretty out of hand, especially the past few days that he kept very quiet. Last night was when my bunkmates had a pretty long discussion into the night about the issue. About how far we went. About the concept of changing people's character. Imposing values and principles. Accomodating people. And so on and so forth. The two groups obviously had very different goals as i observed. One was to just irritate the hell out of dennis so that he will shut up and stop bugging people, while the other is to find out the real him. Thats the difference that mattered. But we failed to observe. During that late night talk, many more issues surfaced. About how other individuals actually have so much burden. So much personal issues and conflicts. So much hurts and memories. Thanks, i needed those to remind me. Those old feelings just came back. I could almost feel for these people, yet i can't vocalise them. Not at least to this bunch of people. It just shocks and saddens me to realize that so many people are facing such huge stress at such a young age. Maybe the problems can't be measured side by side, but everyone has a mountain of its own. And many people have been known to fall into depression and nonacceptance of their circumstances. But who can really help? This sounds cliche, but it still stand true. Only you can help yourself. Everyone has their own cross to bear...
Shannon left at 12:21 p. m..
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