my.escape

gone.

will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.

viernes, marzo 26, 2004

[ 510. BMT - Postlude ]

Well... finally my BMT has ended. Haah... strange as it might seems, i actually feel kinda sad to leave that place. Perhaps it's the fact that it could be the nicest place in your entire NS life. Perhaps its because that would be the last time in your life you'll see those people whom you spent 24 hours a day, 5.5 days a week together with for the past four months. I don't know. Made a lot of good friendships, and it's those feeling that you get whenever your life is in transit. God bless me to where i'm going after tekong.

I did a lot of things for the past few days. Wrote a lot of stuff, thought about a lot of things, said a lot of crap and took tons of photos as well. Those days consist mainly of parade rehearsals and re-tests, i barely had time to breathe. Standing in the parade square with that stupid helmet is no joke. It's a trick to stand still while those tickling pespiration trickles down your face. Finally cleared my SOC on my third attempt, one second short of the failing time. This is definitely, i repeat, definitely a godsend. i made it a point to write cards or something along that line whenver i move on from a place to another. So this time round, it's definitely a challenge. Though i started on the range week (about a month ago) i finished only yesterday morning. Oops. The consequence of procrastination. Again. Brought a camera in and took tons of photos. I can't wait to get them on my computer and i'll do something to them... wait and you'll see. =p Well, the night before we all couldn't sleep-- we had the 24km route march. BUT i did only 16 because i missed it previously. So anyway, it is really tough, not physically, but mentally. The will to go on is the time nearing towards passing out. Yes, that's what kept us on. And finally for the first time, we were allowed to sleep in up to lunch time. I slept briefly and stayed up to finish up the seagulls that i was folding for my platoon anyway.

Life for the past 16 weeks i would say let me know more about myself. My faith, my desires. My abilities, my willpower. My potential, my capabilities. It has strengthened me, and also humbled me i guess. It has also changed my perspective towards people, towards life, towards guys especially. Those bunk politics, so on and so forth. In the worldly fashion, there's no such thing as altruism. I have yet to see just one act of help without expecting any returns. Even volunteering for fatigue work, it for the sake of not being called the next time round. People ask questions for themselves. They ask you to help ask the sergeants some questions, and when its a stupid question and you ask anyway because (you thought) he's a friend, you get the screwing, not him. In essence, sometimes i scratch your back, you end up breaking my back. That's how cruel reality can get. Well, what can we say? I guess they had to show, because at the end of the day even the nicest people have their bad hair day. Furthermore, we are living with each other all the time.

On hindsight, it's also a time where stronger friendships are forged... i saw friends who are willing to stick with you no matter what. Even if it means waiting for you at the cookhouse queue that stretches around the cookhouse. Even if it means taking the blame and the pnishment for you. Even if it means helping you to do your stand by bed when he himself has not done his.

These are two of the ends of the whole spectrum of people you can find i guess. Of course, many many people fall in between these two, that includes the bulk of my platoon. Nonetheless, it's really a great time that i had. =)

Shannon left at 1:06 p. m..

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the guy

xuan shannon male single 030985.
ntu cs year1 / vocalconsort tenor2 / hopesg nyc ntub1.
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gone. will i be back? i don't know. maybe i've started elsewhere. maybe never. again.