miércoles, diciembre 31, 2003
[ 455. Friendship ]
As i was surfing through some of my closer friend's blogs today, i realized that even though i've given much to some, i've neglected much as well. On the surface i may still call them and message them as and when i like, but am i truly concerned about their lives? Sometimes only. Perhaps it's due to the overwhelming events in my life this year. Well, so resolution for 2004 i guess would be a more genuine concern for the people around me.
2003 marks the 15th year of my friendship with mervin. Think it's really God-given that i have such a long lasting friend. There are also others whom i know for quite long, but not many of these friendship are as deep as this. We were not that close for all these 15 years. Remember when we were young, when someone bullied me, he avenged me and got a cut (or something like that) above his eye brow, resulting in a scar. Thereafter, we were separated to different classes, and led our own lives. I remember appealing to vs because of him. And even as we were in the same class for 3 out of 4 years, we didn't really hang out together before sec 4. In sec 4 we shared a tutor and that was i guess how we started spending more time together. Remember how he told me about how he begged the vsco committee not to sack me even though my attendance was atrocious with a capital A. And how he supported me through even though i met lots of problems while running the vsco camp in sec 4. Though we couldn't go to the same jc, but guess it means that we had to make more effort to meet up. And i'm thankful that the friendship is still growing strong ya? =) Just like that night on xmas eve, he came over to my house and waited for 3 hours for me to come home without complaining. Such friends, where to find? =p Thanks bro!
Another group of people i have to mention is derek, ruiwen, cody, kenny khoo and leslie. These 5 tjcians has gave me the greatest headache, memories, joy, anger and a whole load of interesting feelings for quarter 3 and 4 of my 2003. Getting to know ruiwen was ok initially, ya know, the 'honeymoon' period of getting to know a new friend. You don't really notice all the bad things. Then subsequently got to know cody and kenny. Their relation to derek. Going out occasionally with cody and talking to him over icq in september. Then the crap started when i start hearing things about one another from another person. Things can get pretty confusing when you hear too much, and problems double when these people gets too emotional. While i used to enjoy each of these friendship inidividually, i start to get tired and sick of them when tales of one another surface and confrontations start. When they start questioning me about how i know each of these individuals. When i become a point of blame for events that take place. However, i have to say that leslie is still quite an neutral party at this point in time. Nonetheless, unavoidably, i started to hate tjc. =/
Zhichao, deborah, carl, agnes, and others from the 1s02 / 2s01 class. Didn't have a good relationship with the class previously due to unpaid class funds, non compliance of class standards, big ego, irritant, and much more. Until this year when the class starts to accept me. Really thank God for the change in me and the change in their hearts. I guess the events, especially the one mentioned before this has changed my feelings, thoughts and perceptions greatly. Nonetheless, i really treasure these guys a lot. Here's what sokhui wrote to me on xmas last year:
"hello, bet you know that our class lotsa people don't like you.. sorry, but dun worry, we still treat you as friend, that's why i send this card to you..."
and this was on the card i got from her this year:
"yo! hello! how's life in NS? Er... i wanna tell you something.. about last year how we treat you right... sorry leh... although i may not understand how you feel, i know it must be of no good feeling that time... paiseh leh, hope you will forget that period of time cuz at least now you ain't outcasted by us and in fact, you quite close to zhichao liao, right? heehee... don't think about the past liaoz hor... anyway, wish you the best!"
I'm really encouraged by the change in perception of the class towards me... thank you guys... really treasure you much!
Church pals... i have to frankly say that i feel further from them this year as compared to last year. Perhaps it's due to the shifting generations... many people has come and go, and also due to the declining availability of mine due to A levels, problems, and now NS... This could be seen from the cards i received this year... i bet some of the new people don't even know me. But then again, if i seldom show up, how do you expect people to know me? So well... nothing much to say larz. Hopefully things will turn out better...
Ok, i gotta go grab some breakfast. Ciaoz.
Shannon left at 8:45 a. m..
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