gone.
will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.
viernes, julio 25, 2003
[ 201. Wet ]
Finally home. Wet and home. First day in the week that i decided not to bring my windbreaker and it rained. God, great joke huh... LoL. Never mind. PE was slack as usual. In fact, much more slacker than last week cuz today mr goh took us. So kind of him. Bad news is, next week is the test. And i don't see how anyone, at most one or two, is going to pass the test. Had quite a bit of free periods today. Mrs suresh gave us 40 mins off. Mr kwang was on course, but he left some work though. Mr low came in prepared for tutorial, but gave out results slips instead. So effectively only two science lectures, a practical and pe today only. Things still go on pretty well for me in school... no ruffles with the class at all. Thank God... =)
Was supposed to meet alan today. Then somehow bowen just msg me said weilong was coming down and then i don't have to turn up. No prizes for guessing how i felt. And i have absolutely no explanation, no idea and no whatsoever why is that so.... argh. Kinda feddup if you ask me. Then i'm really upset actually... and i dunno, just felt that God thinks i'm not up to it... well, remember God will send people who are more able... so what if i'm willing? I don't get to do it anyway... never mind.
Another thing actually... was the couple of messages i got from him last night... it goes...
"asleep?"
I said ya... not yet.
"yup... can't sleep..."
Then i asked him wassup? whats troubling him?
"alot of things la... you imagine, u receive an sms from someone close to ya.. and guess wad it writes... "who's this" .. mentally very tired liao.. and i got this..."
I guess i said something comforting here... like trust God... along that line...
"Maybe you think it's dumb... but guess all bad things just have to come all at one go.. it just makes me desire to leave this place and be with God.. ya.."
This got me really worried and upset for him... i don't really remember what i said here...
"Guess he din mean it, probably misplaced my no, but it juz feels sad not getting a reply after telling hu i am.. yet i dun have to heart to blame others... and start blaming myself for dunno whatever reason... i'm juz so upset, disappointed, frustrated, anything negative just fits in nicely la... i'm tired.. who cares..."
Haven't got a chance to reply... then he messaged...
"nvm la... sleep early... tml u still got sch... nite"
I grabbed the chance and said something about someone who mentioned something to him before... and then...
yup... i know... but this nothing really to do with ministry... yup... thanx... k... im not really in the mood to talk liao... just wanna have some peace alone... sorry... nite."
I didn't reply... but it really made me... a bit upset. I remembered i was on the phone with jason, on icq with joy and marcus... and i really couldn't focus on the other things i was doing at all...
Today morning, he messaged 2 messages...
"gd morning bros... just wanna thank God for sending all of you to my life... ya.. haha... just wanna say thanks... =)"
This gave me the impression that perhaps he talked to a few ppl before me... Then this came..
"Hey bro, sorry abt yesterday... put you in a difficult spot... ya, sorry.. thanks a lot though.. guess i gotta learn to handle my emotions... but thanx for standing by... -hugz-"
I didn't know what to say... but kinda worried for him... and dunno what to do except to pray hard for him.... God... help him...
Shannon left at 5:09 p. m..
the guy
xuan shannon male single 030985.
ntu cs year1 / vocalconsort tenor2 / hopesg nyc ntub1.
msn me.
his wishes
new clothes, new shoes, new bike, new friends, fantastic grades.
macbook, ipod nano, nokia n80, new wallet.
his horizons
malaysia, penang.
australia, brisbane/gold coast.
thailand, hatyai.
malaysia, genting.
malaysia, johor.
malaysia, melaka.
thailand, chiangmai.
australia, perth.
canada, edmonton/cold lake.
australia, rockhampton.
thailand, bangkok.
austria, vienna.
czech rep, olomouc.
austria, salzburg.
germany, munich.
switzerland, zurich.