gone.
will i be back?
i don't know.
maybe i've started elsewhere.
maybe never. again.
miƩrcoles, mayo 07, 2003
[ 85. SYF ]
As usual, i tried to blog last night, but blogger is FOREVER down during night-time.
I didn't go to school today... i'm too tired and upset...
For those who don't know, yesterday was the SYF Central Judging for JC Choirs. For the records:
Gold Finalists: ACJC, NJC, RJC, TPJC, VJC
Gold (others): AJC, HCJC, TJC
Silver: CJC, JJC, NYJC, SAJC
Bronze: PJC, SRJC, YJC
Well... when the results was announced, we were stunned. I guess many really felt disappointed, but the twins try to numb it up by cracking jokes. We really sat in the concert hall for a long time. When we decided to move, we got downstairs, and many of us just broke down and cried. Even mr azahar and mr lim were in a lost, dunno how to console us. I really broke down and cried. It's like... hard work down the drain. C'mon, you are telling us that we are as good as new competitors for the SYF?! Well... i think we deserve better. Goh Toh Chai told us that our basics were not there... haiz. Then what the heck we train so hard for? What went through my mind was that i really dunno know how to go back to college and face everyone. The teachers who had tolerated our drop in standard due to our streneous training, and now they will go tougher on us as "losers who work hard but no results". Other students from other CCAs who always take us as the underdogs, and most importantly, i really didn't know how to face my own choir members, and break the news to them. I knew they'd be heartbroken. I really was in a lost... then i broke down... not to mention everyone else... When we got back to college, as we walked in, peixuan's friend just asked her how was it, and she was so disturbed that she broke down again... chuhui and mabel had to fight back their tears and pull her into the toilet... lip hang and myself found the choir members all sitting by the concourse... you know, when we finally broke the news everyone eventually just sat down and cried... and the VP and P had to lecture us on 'life's big theory' instead of consoling. I mean, what the hell, when we are all so damn disappointed and you come and rub salt on our wound?! YOU ARE OUR PRINCIPAL AND VICE PRINCIPAL AFTER ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know, when things were getting better over the weekend after what happened on saturday, we thought we might had a fair chance... but SYF's not about quality... it's politics. Like what i told mr azahar... thisi s a harsh world. Just like our A level results... people are not going to give a damn about how much time you spent studying... but ultimately they always reflect based on your cert. You get good grades, you are worth something, if not, don't even think about it. It's like... much as they tell us that it's the process that matters... and product don't really count... but it's a fact that the Singaporean society looks at the result. And it's not gonna change... Ya know, it's like, i gotta numb my feelings and chase everyone home today... if not i'm really afraid that someone's gonna scream at the P and VP. Then i gotta continue numbing my feelings and go for my cheerleading practice... i really felt as if God has deliberately let me down time and time again.. it's really not the first time... i'm really discouraged. It's like, it's not only me in the choir, there are so many christians in the choir, but do you have to do this when you know it's a burden in many of our hearts? Haiz... i'm totally speechless. When i saw how badly huiyin was crying today, i really was totally at a loss... it's like, if she, such a strong, girl, can break down, i really fear for the choir... she cried non-stop for at least an hour... And even now when i'm at home typing all these... my mind's in a whirl...
Shannon left at 8:27 a. m..
the guy
xuan shannon male single 030985.
ntu cs year1 / vocalconsort tenor2 / hopesg nyc ntub1.
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new clothes, new shoes, new bike, new friends, fantastic grades.
macbook, ipod nano, nokia n80, new wallet.
his horizons
malaysia, penang.
australia, brisbane/gold coast.
thailand, hatyai.
malaysia, genting.
malaysia, johor.
malaysia, melaka.
thailand, chiangmai.
australia, perth.
canada, edmonton/cold lake.
australia, rockhampton.
thailand, bangkok.
austria, vienna.
czech rep, olomouc.
austria, salzburg.
germany, munich.
switzerland, zurich.